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I've been rejected twice lately, but everybody was really nice about it!

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by hernameisrio, Mar 13, 2014.

  1. hernameisrio


    Sep 27, 2011
    Berkeley, CA
    So I had two pretty promising auditions over the past couple of months which I did not get. However, in each case, the producer of each project took the time to write a really nice email thanking me for my audition, complimenting me, and wishing me luck while saying they will keep me in mind for the future.

    Whenever I audition, I write a follow-up email afterwards checking in and thanking the band...I figure it kinda helps "close the deal" and for me personally, it keeps those people in my network for the future. So it was cool to hear back. Here was one email I got recently:

    "I'm so sorry it took us so long to get back to you. The truth is we were agonizing over our inability to decide between yourself and the other candidate. But, in the end, we did have to make a decision.
    [Recording Artist] really loved your freshness and originality, as well as your creative instincts. In the final instance, we chose the other candidate because he had a very long career behind him in this field, and we felt that he could be a solid backbone to a very young band.
    You are a very talented girl, and we are heartbroken that we couldn't just accept both of you. We wish you great luck in whatever you do, and will always recommend you to other musicians seeking partners."

    I'm starting to feel a lot more positive about finding good people to work with. I just keep reminding myself that when people tell me I'm not there yet, it's just an opportunity for growth and an incentive to keep pushing. I've basically started treating this (playing bass) like a second job and to my surprise, it's really motivated me to be "on my best behavior" and to get out there and see what's happening. Of course it's fun, but it's also been really good for me to be very self-disciplined and to set goals for myself.

    Anyway, just doing my part in diffusing the angst in the Band Management thread, given how often I've contributed! :p
  2. Son of Wobble

    Son of Wobble

    Mar 8, 2010
    That's cool and rather professional that they followed up with you on your audition. Also cool that you are being pro about it yourself, and not getting hung up on not being selected as of yet. You have the winning attitude in keeping perspective on the fact that not being selected for a particular project is not a sign you are unworthy -- it simply means you should try, try again for a better fit.
    Good luck to you!
  3. GlennW


    Sep 6, 2006
    Don't do that. It doesn't "close the deal," it makes you look needy, like a guy calling you the day after a first date.
  4. I answered an ad for a regularly gigging band looking for a bass player. So I called the guy.
    "Yeah, we'll contact you for an audition. Meanwhile you can look these couple songs up, I'll send you an email in a couple of days with everything there is to study"
    No mail a week later. I called him twice, no answer. I messaged him, even saying I'd like a response, even if negative, so I can stop wasting time over this. No answer.

  5. I'd say chances are you haven't got the gig. Move on to the next 3 opportunities and stop wasting time on this one.
  6. My guess is they've already found someone else. I'd move on and look elsewhere.
  7. I figured that out, yeah.
    Unfortunately there aren't much opportunities here, let alone for stable working bands.

    Actually I just got a emssage from the guy. They've had tens of people show up and for now they are auditioning those. If they don't find anyone good enough they'll call me back.
  8. That can happen. A while ago when our band was trying to find a lead singer, we were inundated with responses. It can really be overwhelming.

    Still, I wouldn't hold your breath. I'd keep looking around. If these guys get back to you and want you to audition, then great. But I wouldn't wait around for them.
  9. Lobster11

    Lobster11 Supporting Member Supporting Member

    Apr 22, 2006
    Williamsburg, VA
    You're joking, right? :eyebrow:
  10. ejmy


    Nov 30, 2008
    IMO writing a follow up shows your interest and that you have manners. And they did reply in a nice way, so they where impressed. Showing up to an audition makes you needy anyway and there's nothing wrong with that.
    My 2 cents
  11. I agree 100%.
  12. el murdoque

    el murdoque

    Mar 10, 2013
    This strongly depends on the wording of such a mail.

    While it can say 'I'm needy', it can also express friendly professionalism such as 'I run a busy scheudle and
    would love to free up all the time this project needs .... '
  13. Crash 56

    Crash 56 Supporting Member

    Mar 13, 2014
    Spokane, Wa.
    The follow up e-mail is a good idea. There is nothing wrong with manners, they make you look professional, not weak.
  14. Agree.
  15. GlennW


    Sep 6, 2006
    You showed your interest when you replied to their ad.

    You showed more interest when you auditioned.

    The audition is over.

    The ball's in their court.

    If they want you, they'll let you know.

    It's really that simple.

    They're not going to say, "I really liked that one, but she didn't email us after her audition, so we should keep looking."

    Part of being "professional" is knowing when it's someone else's move.
  16. Ignore this advice. Nothing could be further from the truth.

    And, IME, women love it when a guy calls a day or so after the date to thank her and say he enjoyed it. The follow up makes a positive impression on dates and interviews.
  17. GlennW


    Sep 6, 2006
    Did you read the part of the OP where she wrote follow ups on two occasions, and got rejected both times?

    If so, how does that prove that the follow up has any value whatsoever?
  18. She made an impression as a polite and caring individual. She may cross paths with these folks again someday, and they may remember that.

    The follow-up "thank you" is not begging for the job. And it may not change the outcome or anyone's mind. But it is the polite thing to do.

    You seem to be the odd man out here. Maybe you should take a little time and think about it.
  19. ejmy


    Nov 30, 2008
    I rest my case LOL
  20. Space Pickle

    Space Pickle

    Apr 15, 2013
    i have enjoyed great success calling women the day after a first date