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James joyce thread...

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Ripper, Sep 24, 2008.


  1. Ripper

    Ripper

    Aug 16, 2005
    NY/NC
    just wondering if anyone has the content of the thread saved... i really want to read through it again

    :bag:
     
  2. Kenbuntu

    Kenbuntu

    Jun 6, 2005
    Ontario
    why? whats so special about it?

    You can try archive.org?
     
  3. Bah, I was hoping this would be a thread about how awesome James Joyce is.
     
  4. Ripper

    Ripper

    Aug 16, 2005
    NY/NC

    It is one of the reasons why there are now part 2's to threads... excessive bandwidth usage... thousands of posts in it, most with one word... the reason behind it was to try to get a longer sentence than james joyce... in the end it morphed into phrases, but it was a hilarious story... but the whole thing was removed from the TB server as far as i can find
     
  5. Ripper

    Ripper

    Aug 16, 2005
    NY/NC
    ok... never mind... found it:

    It shouldn't surprise you that I feel like something anus-like that stings when I bend down and sniff the glue and shout about the first thing that appears during Mister Kennedy, the name given by Me to the dead hedgehog eating carrots before bedtime was mutilated twice before antidisestablishmentarianism when you arrest imaginary tumultuous sailors at a transvestite school for blatantly ignorant broccoli farmers , who always like chicken -flavored frogs that run amuck amongst decrepit financial advisement hoardings that eat unripened bananas causing them to enjoy ethereal moments of floccinaucinihilipilification which bring further financial constriction (slags) and increased endurance especially during semi-annual trips through pastoral meadows near yet another hunk down where prisoners romp half-heartedly in striped sarongs while philosophy professors stared downstairs trying feverishly to murdalize in-grown toenails from myself; apparently steroids ingested during intercourse will lead to chafing of the hedgehog's outlook, whether or not falsifying documents portends inevitably of the dishonest cheese (that) rats ate and blew the long hard night through the aforementioned copulation witnessed by deputized clairvoyants experiencing seizures associated with chronic diseases, including related disorders like those green spots, enviable by only certain guitar-wielding charlatans who murdalize raccoons nightly with spoons covered, waiting for Fidel to (murdalize) examine the remains of a day; scat filled afternoons of tea bag eating, punctuated sentences are doubtlessly unimportant because unbeknownst to the platypus, books were yet to be discovered, and they were obliterated since the great fire boat exploded, essentially but completely in the aiding of Armageddon, causing untimely appearances of Chuck Norris, standing over unguarded pudding drooling, three zombies jumped rope on their 1969 candy-apple red panties, borrowed from the well-known Mr. Michael Jewels, son whose pants faded over many washings since work-related issues strained people’s understanding of cold-blooded, corrupt kindergarten failures disproportionate mind-bending beverages, that seemed incredibly farfetched, considering the inconsiderate considerations considered considerably considerable after menopause struck fear into hearts broken by fanciful tongues, after the avalanche into outerspace (monstas) was scary, meanwhile, scary domo-kuns pondered the meaning of mustard which adds suspense, similar to high-speed internet ravioli while jealous, sorry fish-stick butter flowed from the outermost volcano in the archipelago’s center, inwhich there stood an extraordinarily large midget god construction worker eating an alien baby limb while holding a(n) microscopic sword of doom-like proportions dipped in sheep’s gelatinous wool, inferior to Qintar droppings found at any local deli and served poached 6am ‘till 27 customers eat neighbor's lawn furniture equipped with extra chocolate-filled arm-rests badly burnt, which squirrels regarded poo poo perfume nonetheless forgetting the acidic based recipes for those certain occasions when relatives arrived naked an amnesic because life had turned on the heat seeking rockets to attack Russian space brides with lockjaw, jawbreakers, and hookworm-swallowing mandibles; this caused a global pie-fight underground resulting in unpredictable cheese-whizzing on a day when Divine Demons shaved, showered, and reconsidered considering ulterior motives, although Jesus Jones, Davy’s Uncle Bob’s friend sang "Beat Me withastick, the Lord Guacamole wept burning cookies and yelling “WHO DAT,” BELCHING, FARTING, SCRATCHING, URINATING, PINK PRANCING OCELOTS,” but carelessly forgot why he had corrupted humans in custarded carrots, nevertheless we fought for peanuts ruthlessly and relentlessly, waiting for Ragnarok, battle of Norse Gods at Vigrid, the field where darkness reigned until the birth death of the life and Earth god’s lifestyle of living trashed & wrecking the homes of humans and their homes of twigs underwater muffin crumbs that poodles inhale with Gusto because the flatus sweetened coffee is really horrendous, especially when ostentatious displays cause much consternation and trepidation breeds vengeance unless kangaroos learn to build bridges that span dimensions and pepperoni causing unmentionable transmogrification of foolish intestines and promised purification inflicting pleasure willy-nilly upon heeding pachyderms notwithstanding, Alice withholding omelets maliciously was abuzz, aghast, astonished, ablaze, bemused, beheaded, befuddled, bedazzled, beheaded, crazy, convoluted, constructed, comatose, confabulated, constipated, confounded, delineated, deranged, THEREFORE we adjudicate objectives litigiously along self-referential orcs, gleefully elucidating our need for existential literature, perhaps this thread should hang NOW or never, ever reflect upon surreptitious agencies that surveilled Lilliputians vacationing incognito while incognizant aliens borrow my cheese-grater without tickling the belly-button of various hypochondriacs complaining of many wounds around town until we gesticulate shat signals away from hobbits, including Bob-club alumni, whose penchant stuck deep into cerebral circumlocutory discourse pieces of ostrich steaks wreaking fragrant crap into the crapper, aka Tom Bosley while jumping the queue from Playboy Mansion’s battleship-mounted drunkies planned to flip over uncles, ants, (and) dogs flea-ridden mules become disoriented throughout menopause, enduring crazed diseases like Darius Kasperitis, Chris Simon, (and) Tom Cruise, afflicting changes of fatigue, although carrots cannot conceive idiocy extraordinarily retarded Canadian beef jerky while exposing corrupt politicians cross-dressing, jay-walking scumbags with tight rhythm-holding sacks; the Meathead jammed on completely throughout the night, evetually terminating guitarists who wank constantly annoying bassists that wield formidable basses capable of astonishing anyone weak-hearted and possibly injuring pregnant spanky-hos, all in institutions for the harmonically-challenged that treat Spanky-hos using tuning-forks a commonly applied ointment that can be pungent at times, yet when normal Spanky-Skanks spatulate, paramedics invariably chose to neglect type O blood bags donated by lepers belonging to Mother Theresa CD club, infecting Green Day's groupies experiencing spatulation unlike vaccinated, vacillating vixens, vicariously winking while mimicking Mark Hoppus and sucking bananas which resents all constipated squirrels catapulted into fire works on crack faced prairie dogs discussing domination, consternation of levels within the precedents preceding preordained perceptions prominently precipitating perjorative mouse pads wandering amicably around mesas, deserts or Antartica franchise chicken farms underground where nothing remains certain anymore, therefore certain eggs ressurrect hatched commodities onboard electronics in whitish neigborhoods that racial-profile Huns, Avars, Visigoths, vandals and Hanna-Barbera animated characters such as Flintstones and Scooby Doo but Magilla Gorilla is an inconceivably ridiculous equation, solvable only by Charlie Watts and Bill Gates' pet platypus-like chipmunk that evades consciousness everyday, by traveling in pudding cars filled with bananas overflowing toilets maximize unsanitary napkins gubernatorial assistants, I, declare hallelujah "GO-HABS-GO" in Japanese hookers admonish smug bird-watchers who watch badminton, locomotives steam fly high when kangaroos commandeered certain routs that supplied aliens carrots, cauliflower and fed thousands of tiny things that grew and flourished under infinite Ant farms surrounding lakes, which never stop slurping icy existantialism from Regis philbin's tighty-whities that smoldered turkeys gobblers singing epilectically in unison, amazingly parachuted from space into chocolate-coated pieces of dreams, which began wet and sticky and very empty but delicious varieties, yet tigers race phytoplankton triathalons held biannually overlooking the Gulf of Mexico until hurricanes soothed Egbert Fishwich IVth's blister on his gigantic concern for breadcrumbs and flax-colored hair, that shone like sand-blown harmonies, caressing the limitless stupidity of guitarists that surpassed insanity when covered to begin speeches, usually regarding to the issues of choice of mankind within interplanetary jello bellies delaying time consumption in hunting lodges while snorting chunks of that infinite gigantic, tenacious putty knife etchings, spanning eras of uncertaity upon of and alongside guilt-ridden drummers wildly prancing, skipping while sniffing fragrant Marxist members' diatribes just smoldering from eventful witch-burnings perpetrated by accountants that claim baggage at least once per millenia in the carroty glands located near my psychiatrist's left ventricle, exclaiming "Oh my freckles, I havent been scared like red-bellied talkbassers typing obsessively for pennies, while munching strange unflavored, inexpensive memberships subsidised by the CIA to avoid Shakespearean references by Chaucer's feather pen's feather further frolicks freely among firemen fondling firehoses which absolutly sizzled steaks, served saucy tampons slowly in absurdly tender chicken rhapsodies that disembowel nematode's pet tomato trout-flavored cheeze-wiz called Alembic legislation's insomniatical rabbits eloquently elaborating enormously HUGE tendrils of cheese-itz funny-looking monkeys became unlike oneself to aid worldly women with strengthful penis neutrilizers so eunuchs might never regret postage of yesteryear's child unless that corgi toy exploded, causing hemroid alarms beyond Detroit, otherwise resplendent yet musical citizens of questionable hygiene forego baths monthly unless it seems morbidly cute that obstreperous children should play with nematodes soup flavoring, nevertheless they havent yet sufficiently amassed enough experience in esoteric endeavors, which bewilder scholars, maladroit, vociferous castigators unpopular among proletariat frondeurs destabilizing fluctuant regimes wontonly disregarding righteous, self-aggrandizing voles that miscalculate the average Joe whenever I tend to postulate propositions that commiserate profoundly moving multitudes beyond brown-notes together we stand as Yoda afficianados punches those who simper hot nothings, which temper attitudes that transcend towards Geisha cookbooks, and tiny orbiting flecks of Bella, wherein condemed zombies refused treatment regarding their boobs and ta-ta's because occasionally recalcitrant feckless dung-daubers who suffuse their custom-crafted thingamajigies which unfortunately went asunder, disappointing disruptive deputized, caramelised Carolingian collegians, cum laude and turtles, tortoises, hobbits halflings, elves, ecologists, eccentrics, explorers, spilunkers, spigots, Uncle Jim looked spiffy when the future Mrs. Fraunfelter felt that she wanted big pretzels with srirachia which smelled dissimilar from captain Peepee Poopworth's strange excrement which influenced dung-beeltles artistic, yet sadistic, soporific myrmidons fighting to free their enchained plumbers from Cincinnati, dungeons that emaciated patrons considerably, considering considerations, callously corrupting corporeal cowboys who combine razor-blades with six-shooters to terrify itinerant timbales, which attempt samba stress cracks and we filled them with amoebas who dabble untill the uprising of unknown bulls tyranny ran together before erupting into pasta toejam hors d'oeuvres ala-mode, a la carte and poutine puddin, presented on corn-bread dregs o' the mustard burns because some idiot forgot his pants split when he played lullabies incessantly through fullstacks ukelele without tuning that thing over a wheelchair, rolling away, unhappy bastardo, Leonardo Difuncellolinosapo physcoalphadiscobetabioaquadoloop, stingy ray everyday living, giving sustenance gassing paramedics did ouch, expressions, regressions nonaggressions surprise inspections indiscretions, affections, secessions, candy confections, delicatessens indigestions, hallucinations saturations, infatuations investigations, consternations, litigations, immolations and conclusions which helped bring crack spackle finishes to Dingwall dishwashers and Packard computers just before the mega-bomb sale hits, remastered recordings of rocking chairs, compiled for unknown reasons wheretofore we heretofore fart indoors while lecturing loudly loving long-legged lemurs that lasciviously **** without a camera, unless prompted harshly through propagation to dominate their oven fears while traipsing transfixed upon tree-top tunnelvisioned spider monkeys that renege on promises made by coercing postmen into misdelivering masseuses from Moldavia to Zimbabwe near Pluto and lemon-flavored junkyard-dogs that drunkenly meander toward us holding their genitals proudly chanting enchanting love-spells alongside medieval, madrigal music from centuries goneby expecting recovered treasures to spontaneously appear missing before the complete anthology of Miles Davis reaches Pennsylvania coal routes below the self-conscious elevator-farters of Elbonia, unlike gold-diggers from the bright Neptunian shores, they so-far have failed continuing what ancestors painstakingly realized should never flambe nor eat, unless there appears to them an exceptionally protuberant, hairy, knuckles crackled often whenever they deigned thingys haphazardy, funkified and horny, to include cilantro, quiche Pepsi and fish oil, but, beware the coming train accelerates quite expeditiously through Humboldt-county-fields whenever the Voodoo child comes rocking out of their limos, sipping sweet nothings, a fragrance wafted towards smelly socks that had been dropped unflinchingly strivingly ballsily upon my toejam-infested PDA (personal digital assistant) whilst the multitudes laughed at such feckless attempts to overthrow the great, the inimitable, the malodorous, and the downright abhorrent ferret-like George W. Bush the IVth enlightened by neanderthals, successors and, then again surpassing even that which bacon & eggs have failed to remedy, namely rainy days, snowy days, and days of languishing by the side of my friend Grendel's buttock's hind-end, so horrible to see and yet intriguing to those fanatic plastic surgeons, whose fees find follower's billfolds empty like a Hollywood marriage, complete with bye-byes, spoiled mayonaise, fory-two lightbulbs, left-over koolaid, dirty sheets, Shure SM58, that I dropped while passionately lip-synching "I'm Too Sexy" - just then, a mega mint chocolate chip from malicious Motanan mountains flew right by your mothers ass-ets, which the bank dissolved, as Cromwell dissolved Parliament, leading to much ado about internal cheese factories of cake, chitlins and hogmaws, which we consumed with a cold real ale, then the fun truly accelerated into something the townspeople frowned agreeably upon with cheezy-colored earbuds, and chunks of funk which made a mess of your faces, early before sunset had begun to wash away the fairy guts, after the accident involving the homo semi truck with two brains, poop-throwing midgets, multiple miscellaneous mandibles, had continental breakfast and vomited words of peace in carroty fountains that rabbits mate in, but not hares, so beware of the curse of, the stoned jabberwockey, nasty as a fleck of pollen whose parents in their wisdom, and farsightedness bought travelers insurance while having soup made from turtles, little, baby turtles and toejam tobasco sprinkled on cow-cakes (cow birthday cakes) tasting of jellyfish nettles and old books, quite tasty actually considering that the police used them as cell bench cushions while they redecorated aunt Jemima's kitchen, complete with butter, or margarine which they smeared onto bodacious round amazonian woman's amazingly amazing, soft and squeezable gummy bears coated with seasoned breadcrumbs, dried mold flakes, and heat-seeking missiles, sometimes pass, riderless, slack-jawed barefoot and pregnant, yet curiously attractive to the one-eyed blind to human flaws deaf to the pleas of the dying planet once ruled by dinosaurs through magician powers, made them go to the liquor-store in their golf-carts, completely disregarding the indecent-exposure law, for reasons unstated by Abraham Lincoln, Johnny Cash and Chuck Norris the man who really freed the slaves from Billy-Bob's cheesy and unreliable barbeque-sauce recipe, which sickened hundreds in bbq queues with symptoms like; rashes of bacon, endless loud farting, swelling of glands, excessive vomiting, bursting of blood-vessels, spreading of atheletes-foot, and concluding that rocky-mountain-oysters are tasty, but gritty I none the less have a craving, the end is far away, nice try however, but no cigar within the humidor Cuban cigars dwell in Hemmingways' memory, the old man, whose bell tolls while a farewell, full of emotions but devoid of TalkBass emoticons such as TPBM, W the F, OMG, are not words worth mentioning here, however, we will miss purple haze, while the wind of change blew relentlessly past Mary along the watchtower on the horizon of Fire of that foxy lady's voodoo child-prodigy guitarists' grotesquely enlarged kneecaps which prevented squat-thrusts from shooting-Joe way down south by the Spanish whom had recently opened a restaurant in a castle next to Rock Ridge to hear my train mewing loudly amongst things concerned, but emphatically denied the usage of, which can cause sterility amongst presidential candidates which do not eat spinach turnovers nor soul food while smoking in the boys room and causing death to pickled-pig's-feet, cow tongues, fried calf testicles, and everything else available at your local cornershop which isn't really the friendliest place after dark when the Ibanez fan club shoots shots of tequila, the awakes between the tight thighs of bikers wearing nothing but pasties and Paistes with whomever put those firecrackers in the butthole, now must face smelly charges of mornings' espresso, yesterday's frijoles refritos, cabo's pina coladas, bratwurst & saurkraut, live tree-frog appetizers and toenail-tandoori which caused a train called "Eerie Lackawana" inumerable difficulties in securing big hoochie mamas whose collective cabooses flapped uncontrollably while running down the mountain amongst multiple martians, whos chronicles of Michael Jewels were censored, because the censorship laws include both Jazzin' & Jewels, but the small-print revealed encrypted messages, on the location of Newfoundland's new found lands winter olympics for lonely polar-bears who wear pajamas all day out of shame of bare skin and hairy-butts, since the barbers shaved the senators body at the request of everyone's mommas' homemade cookies inedible, because voles living inside the whitehouse kitchen truncated the president's thingy which happened to fall into the pancake batter which consisted of the necessary ingredients to make pancake batter and a dash of hash to make it even better than we ever dreamed; to sleep - perchance to dream, all depends on hot chicks in mini-skirts, wearing thick undergarments of course, as protection from Maki,
     
  6. IconBasser

    IconBasser Scuba Viking Supporting Member

    Feb 28, 2007
    Alta Loma, California
    that's the whole thing? Or just the first thread of it?
     
  7. IconBasser

    IconBasser Scuba Viking Supporting Member

    Feb 28, 2007
    Alta Loma, California
    oh god... I made it a third of the way through and couldn't take it anymore...
     
  8. SpankyPants

    SpankyPants That's Mr. SpankyPants to you.

    Aug 24, 2006
    Brooklyn, NY
    Hahahaha I remember writing that.

    I think Sonic Death and I were maintaining that for a lot of the way.
     
  9. Ripper

    Ripper

    Aug 16, 2005
    NY/NC
    oh... and did a word count on word... somewhere over 2,600
     

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