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Jive's fart philosophy thread

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by MakiSupaStar, Jun 6, 2007.


  1. MakiSupaStar

    MakiSupaStar The Lowdown Diggler

    Apr 12, 2006
    Huntington Beach, CA
    So how would you use a fart as a metaphor for life? What type of philosopical conundrums can be described by a fart? For example, if Carl Jung was to use flatulence as one of the human archetypes, what areas of human hisotry and experience would it encompass? :ninja: :bag:
     
  2. MakiSupaStar

    MakiSupaStar The Lowdown Diggler

    Apr 12, 2006
    Huntington Beach, CA
    Sometimes a man's best work just stinks.
     
  3. labgnat

    labgnat Inactive

    Oct 29, 2005
    outta this world
    my farts are like my rhymes

    these farts aren't delicious and nutritious
    they're malicious and vicious
     
  4. hmmmm I met my wife by farting, seriously...
     
  5. jive1

    jive1 Commercial User

    Jan 16, 2003
    Alexandria,VA
    Owner/Retailer: Jive Sound
    Wow. He went and did it.


    But seriously, I can see how a fart can be a metaphor for life. Freud talks about a stage of development called the Anal stage where people try to control themselves and their surroundings. Now it's fitting that farting be linked to this stage.

    Much like life, farts are unpredictible and impermanent. For example, you can feel the backpressure filling your bowels and your anus getting warm. You know you have a good one coming, so you make plans to get your significant other or one of your friends. Then right as you get ready to fire, you lose it and can't fart. Or you fart, and it's not as smelly as you'd hope it would be. Or worse, it's more than just a fart, and you have some extra laundry to do.

    Life is similar in that we make plans, have circumstances that seem to line up for a particiular outcome only to have it go an entirely different way. How many of us went to school, and did all the right things and have things go terribly awry? Same for the opposite. Some of us are some lucky@$$ bastards.

    Also, you cannot predict what the quality of a fart will be like. You might make a guess based on biofeedback, but it won't necessarily come out that way. The fart can be smelly in sulphur and eggs way, like a pile of rotten veggies, or a dead rodent. They can also not smell at all. They can be loud and proud, or silent but deadly. Some are short, some are long. But what they all have in common is that you cannot predict how they will come out.

    Life is very similar in that way. We can make guesses based on cirumstances, but in the end you still gotta play things out to see the result. This would go against what some religious philosphers like Thomas Hobbes would say, or any philosophy that talks about predestination or some type. They may have something in that you can predict when you have to fart, but they cannot account for the quality of the fart. The same goes in life. We are born, we die, we pay taxes. But, the mystery is "how".

    Now, there is some science to a fart. Based on our diets, metabolism, etc. we may be able to predict the quality of a fart prior to it happening, but there are so many variables involved that it is unpredictible. Which leads me to ask, is life unpredicitible because we don't have enough information or access to it? Maybe life and farts have so many variables that limited beings like ourselves, can't fully grasp it?

    Natural laws definitely govern the nature of farts. For example, a fart cannot have the properties of a laser beam. We neither have the chemical makeup or physical features to do such a thing. But there are exceptions, in life and in farting. For example, I ate a big bowl of Chili and downed a Pepsi to go along with it one day, and did not get gas afterwards. Which is strange for me because I fart alot, and even water and bread can give me gas. So either this is an exception, which validates the metaphysical, or there is a knowledge of natural law that I am lacking. Maybe I didn't have gas because my wife but a spice in the Chili that neutralized the beans. The thing is that, neither of know what it is or how it works.

    Life is a mystery. As mysterious as a fart.
     
  6. BartmanPDX

    BartmanPDX Supporting Member

    Interesting.

    Perhaps Hobbes was speaking of life as a metaphor for farts when he wrote that it was "nasty, brutish, and short?"

    If that's the case, he never got a whiff of some of the lingering flatulence I've expelled in my prime. Nasty and brutish, to be sure, but decidedly not short. :p

    FWIW, at least with respect to flatulence, Jong has raised the level of discourse in OT, at least temporarily.
     
  7. soulgeezer

    soulgeezer Inactive

    Jan 29, 2007
    Northern New Jersey
    Endorsing Artist: Red Zone Effects
    In response to jive's very deep, thoughtful question about the manner in which farts may represent a metaphor for the unpredictability of life, I offer the following:





























    :ninja:





























    :confused:





























    :eyebrow:





























    ...





























    ;)





























    :help:





























    :bag:





























    :p





























    :D





























    :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:


    chickenme.gif

    :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
     
  8. labgnat

    labgnat Inactive

    Oct 29, 2005
    outta this world
    that's pure sex right there. i'd hit it
     
  9. soulgeezer

    soulgeezer Inactive

    Jan 29, 2007
    Northern New Jersey
    Endorsing Artist: Red Zone Effects
    Of course you would. Maki, too, I'm sure.

    You both are not proud men! :p
     
  10. labgnat

    labgnat Inactive

    Oct 29, 2005
    outta this world
    don't cha wish your gf was hot like me? don't cha? don't cha? that song is rule

    i only cross dress on the weekends. ball purse and all
     
  11. that s0ng is teh suxx!!!! No mention of farts at all.
     
  12. Relic

    Relic Cow are you?

    Sep 12, 2006
    Robbinsville, NJ
    two words - wet cardboard
     
  13. jive1

    jive1 Commercial User

    Jan 16, 2003
    Alexandria,VA
    Owner/Retailer: Jive Sound
    I guess not even farts can raise the level of discourse in OT.


    Seriously, guys!
    farts=life.

    That has to be worth discussing.
     
  14. The real question: why did I click a fart thread while eating, when I knew what it would be about?:confused:

    EDIT: nvm, figured it out. I was eating bean burritos.
     
  15. jive1

    jive1 Commercial User

    Jan 16, 2003
    Alexandria,VA
    Owner/Retailer: Jive Sound
    Not a wise move. Eating makes the blood go to your stomach, thus reducing the bloodflow to your brain that you need to take part in this discourse.
     
  16. disenchant

    disenchant You can't plagiarize yourself.

    Aug 9, 2006
    Elgin, IL
    Farts are like life because when yours sucks, it permeates the air and affects everyone around you.
     
  17. I would agree; my top-quality farts never fail to improve the atmosphere.
     
  18. lowendtheory

    lowendtheory I like the bass

    Sep 2, 2003
    Australia, Brisbane
    i don't have anything useful to add, other than i do see the direct link... i farted in bed last night and my wife threatened to kill me if i ever do that again. see!!! fart=life!!!
     
  19. disenchant

    disenchant You can't plagiarize yourself.

    Aug 9, 2006
    Elgin, IL
    no man, thats fart=death!
     
  20. Primary

    Primary TB Assistant

    Here are some related products that TB members are talking about. Clicking on a product will take you to TB’s partner, Primary, where you can find links to TB discussions about these products.

     
    Jan 16, 2021

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