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Join the new band, or not?

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by EddiePlaysBass, Dec 28, 2012.

  1. EddiePlaysBass


    Feb 26, 2009
    Give or take 2 years ago, I answered an ad and helped start a blues band (band 1). At the time, the singer and the guitarist were in a different band, and the drummer was in 2 different bands plus some projects. We hired a second guitarist, and for a while things took off. We got good gigs, opening for international (blues) acts and it culminated into an opening slot on a pretty good festival.

    The band of the singer and guitarist disbanded about 6 months after we started the blues band (band 1). They started a second band (band 2) got a different rhythm section, a new (and incredibly good) guitarist and recorded an album. It took off like crazy in the local blues scene, and it has led them to get loads and loads of gigs. This caused discord in band 1, between the singer and guitarist (being in band 2 ) on the one hand, and the drummer and the second guitarist on the other hand. As a bass player, I seem to fall nicely between both factions.

    Though band 1 has not yet officially disbanded, it seems highly unlikely that we will get together again. So the second guitarist wants to start a new band (band 3) with the drummer. I initially asked to join, but ... This quote from a recent thread seems fitting:

    Most of the issues and discussions that we had in band 1 (even prior to the "other band rift") stem from the second guitarist. I am pretty sure that he costs us gigs, cos he brings an entire entourage to every gig and makes sure they all drink for free. He plays too loud, is stubborn of mind and frankly, at times just not fun to play with. Technically and theoretically, though, he is very gifted.

    Recently my dad (who used to sing) bumped into "my" drummer, and they got to talking. The drummer jumped to conclusions and announced that my dad would be singing for band 3. I then suggested we move away from the initial "blues" idea and towards classic / symphonic rock, given that this is where his strength as a singer lie. He's just not a good blues singer. To this, Mr Second Guitarist replied saying the genre's been picked, he knows what he wants and it will be blues with some funky elements.

    This made me wonder what the heck I was thinking, wanting to be in band 3 with this guy. I have contacted the drummer of my former band to form a trio. Whilst he is a less good musician than what I have come to be used to, I think it will be more fun than spending more time with Mr Second Guitar, aka He Who Knows What He Wants. On the other hand I have to admit that I have already improved vastly because of his suggestions, explanations and even from the songs he picked for the (now defunct) blues band.

    Guess the question here is, what would you do? Join band 3 with a person you know will be a PITA to work with, or leave it and just pursue other avenues? Just to be clear, the trio thing will happen regardless of the other choice.
  2. boristhespider9


    Sep 9, 2008
    Kind of hard to follow...
  3. nortonrider


    Nov 20, 2007
    I couldn't really figure out what is happening either.

    My advice would be,
    Ask yourself if playing in the the band is going to make you happy or not.
    Your answer will tell you whether you should participate or pass.
  4. Why would I enter into a project with a known PITA member?
    1/ SEVERE financial need
    2/ they've kidnapped a family member
    3/ SEVERE masochism.

  5. EddiePlaysBass


    Feb 26, 2009
    Sorry guys :) I have edited the OP, in hopes of it being clearer. I forget that this makes sense if you're there, but not necessarily so without 2 years of baggage.
  6. TomCHunley


    Jun 12, 2011
    Bowling Green, KY
    I practice a lot but still suck.
    It sounds like the PITA did kind of dadnap a singer for Band 3.
  7. I think G2 is the PITA, & drummer is the dadnapper. I think; that's a hard read.

    I still ain't joining a known PITA unless they actually have Dad chained up in the shed.
  8. bluewine

    bluewine Inactive

    Sep 4, 2008
    Me, personally. It's no secret I have opinions on guys that are full members in multiple bands.

    I would never join a band where any of the members were in any other bands.

  9. Wow....my brain is hurting.
    I know for me a would be kind of weird being in a band with my dad.
    Anyway, IME there is always going to be at least one guy in the band that is a PITA. Sometimes that guy might have even been me.
    Every band has some baggage.
  10. 39-Bassist


    Jul 7, 2010
    Endorsing Artist for: Brace Audio; Duncan Pickups; Line6, Hipshot, GHS Strings, Somnium Guitars
    Say goodbye to all of them and just start fresh. Keep in good standings with the guys you get along with, you need to keep a list of musicians worth working with, someday they may remember you for a good future project.
    If you work with anyone you can't trust, (second guitarist) then don't do it.
    Good luck.
  11. odineye


    Dec 29, 2011
    Bear DE
    This right here is enough for me.

    I'm not generally an "always" or "never" type of guy but, I've played with far too many of these "Mr. Second Guitarist" types, and it has *always* been a fiasco and has *never* ended well. No matter how hard I tried to make it work. If it were me? I'd take the chance to cut ties now.
  12. Stumbo

    Stumbo Guest

    Feb 11, 2008
    Sometimes reformatting text helps.
    There's a TB "three" strikes advice rule:
    1) Good hang
    2) Good paying gigs
    3) Good music

    You gotta have at least two to think about sticking with a band.

    In your case:
    1) No
    2) Conditional "No". Good gigs but probably losing gigs due to the guy's attitude/actions.
    3) Conditional "No". If you're willing to change from blues to classic/symphonic rock, then playing the blues doesn't mean that much to you.

    So, seems like it's time to move on your you.

    However, you may have a number 4. on your advice rule: playing with musicians better than yourself. Though he may want you in the band and is willing to teach you because other, more advanced and knowledgeable musicians won't because they're tired of putting up with his crap, just like you've done.

    If you are wanting to learn more and willing to put up with his crap for awhile, then you may want to do it. Maybe give him a list of the things you mentioned that he does wrong and tell him that you'll be in the band if he won't do those things anymore. See what he says. Doubt he'll change. You'll still need a lead guitarist and that may be another stumbling block. But, hey, you'll be learning/gigging/making money and that may be enough. Only you can know that.

    Just don't know that being in a band with your dad it the way to go.

    Good luck.
  13. EddiePlaysBass


    Feb 26, 2009
    Actually my dad would not be a negative factor. I've played with him in a band before, and contrary to most expectations, it worked out really well. Our voices even blended nicely where I did backings. Having said that, it is pretty clear to me that my dad will not come out of retirement.

    Mr Second Guitar will not change, because most (if not all) issues have been addressed in the past two years. The issue is that "band 1" was the first band he ever played in. He did jam sessions before that, but has zero band experience, which shows in many ways - both how he acts, reacts and his ideas about how to proceed with certain things.

    Practical example: he does not want 2 songs in a row in the same key because "the crowd will notice". He'd rather play 7 slow songs in a row if they're all in a different key, than play two uptempo songs in A ...

    Guess I am just convincing myself :)
  14. bluewine

    bluewine Inactive

    Sep 4, 2008
    The crowd doesn't even notice that a band is playing, no less the key of the songs.

  15. fmoore200


    Mar 22, 2011
    Word. I never met a horn player who didn't want EVERY song in Bb :mad: lazy trumpet players lol

    But still, even if they don't know what's going on musically, modulation have an effect on the listener, IMO
  16. bluewine

    bluewine Inactive

    Sep 4, 2008
    I remember meeting this chic at a club and we went out for a while. After several weeks of constant coaching, she finally understood that I played bass guitar and the difference between the guitar.

  17. oldrocker

    oldrocker Supporting Member

    Feb 13, 2005
    Long Island, NY
    You should have never told her you were only the bass player. If she thought you were a real guitar player she may still be going out with you :bassist:
  18. bluewine

    bluewine Inactive

    Sep 4, 2008
    She's been replaced several times.

  19. ChrisB2

    ChrisB2 Bass... in your fass

    Feb 27, 2008
    TalkBass > Off Topic
    Although the situation is still clouded in confusion, the answer seems simple to me.

    You have other projects as well as other opportunities. What again are the GOOD reasons you're considering working with a PITA? Never mind, there are none.
  20. mellowinman

    mellowinman Free Man

    Oct 19, 2011
    I think it could be a tenable situation, however with the caveat that if it is going to work it cannot continue. I would say as long as we are going to do it, I am not going to tolerate it, but I will be enthusiastic, if we are going to make sure we are doing it.
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