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jokes against guitarist

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by Captain Anarchy, Feb 12, 2003.

  1. Captain Anarchy

    Captain Anarchy Guest

    Nov 29, 2002
    Hey I am looking to find some sweet jokes against guitarists so I can make fun of my bands guitarist?

    P.S. He found some jokes against bass players so.....

    So hook me up if you can..
  2. Davehenning


    Aug 9, 2001
    Los Angeles
    here is an oldie, but goodie....

    How do you get a guitarist to turn down?

    Put sheet music in front of him...........

    (Da dum!)

    What do you do when a guitar player come to your door?

    Pay for the pizza!
  3. thrash_jazz


    Jan 11, 2002
    Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
    Artist: JAF Basses, Circle K Strings
    Hi there, this should be in Bass Humour and Gig Stories.

    Have a nice day :)
  4. what do you call a guy that hangs out with a band?

    .........a guitarist
  5. almost any joke about musicians can be used for any instrument, just change drummer to bassist, guitarist to singer, etc.
  6. Dave Castelo

    Dave Castelo

    Apr 19, 2000
    i thought that was the drummer :confused:

    also, read te post above... there are few "exclusive" jokes for any instrument
  7. How many guitarists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    Six - One to screw it in and the other five to stand back and say, "I could have done that!" :D
  8. :D

    Let me give this a shot...


    ...darn I suck. :spit:
  9. How many guitarists does it take to change a lightbulb?

    2. 1 to put it in, the other one to say that John Petrucci could have done it one handed behind his back while getting bullwhipped.

    (quoted from my friend Jeff Hall, a guitarist)
  10. Tsal


    Jan 28, 2000
    Finland, EU
    Here's a nice one, which seems to start as a bassist joke but.. :p

    -How many bassists you need to change a lightbulb?

    -Thirteen. One changes the bulb and the other twelve try to stop guitarists from running into the spotlight! :D
  11. Petebass


    Dec 22, 2002
    QLD Australia
    What do you throw a drowning guitarist?
    His amp.

    How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
    1. He just grabs hold of it and the whole world revolves around him.
  12. Nice....:D
  13. Jontom


    Mar 11, 2002
    New York
    What do you call a guitarist with no girlfriend?

  14. what did the guitarist say when his headstock snapped off?

    "IT's a Steinberg hybred, uh yeah.. i'm testing it for them.."
  15. old_skool


    Aug 17, 2000
    Milwaukee, WI
    How can you tell which kid on the playground is a guitarists?

    The one who cant swing and doesnt know how to use a slide properly.
  16. Captain Anarchy

    Captain Anarchy Guest

    Nov 29, 2002
    thanx everyone youve been a big help:bassist:
  17. Q- "Why did God give guitarists one more brain cell than a cow?"

    A - "So they wouldn't take a crap on the stage."
  18. NJL


    Apr 12, 2002
    San Antonio
    since my main axe is trumpet, we joke about bone' players a lot:

    how do you get a trombone player off your porch?

    pay him for the pizza

    ;) :rolleyes:
  19. Q: What did the drummer do when the guitarist started his solo?

    A: Thanked God the bass player was there
  20. Ben Mishler

    Ben Mishler

    Jan 22, 2003
    San Jose
    :D Hilarious. I am using that one today at practice.

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