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jokes against guitarist

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by Captain Anarchy, Feb 12, 2003.


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  1. Feb 12, 2003 #1
    Captain Anarchy

    Captain Anarchy Guest

    Nov 29, 2002
    canada
    Hey I am looking to find some sweet jokes against guitarists so I can make fun of my bands guitarist?

    P.S. He found some jokes against bass players so.....

    So hook me up if you can..
    thanx:bassist:
     
  4. Feb 12, 2003 #2
    Davehenning

    Davehenning

    Aug 9, 2001
    Los Angeles
    here is an oldie, but goodie....

    How do you get a guitarist to turn down?

    Put sheet music in front of him...........

    (Da dum!)

    What do you do when a guitar player come to your door?

    Pay for the pizza!
     
  8. Feb 12, 2003 #3
    thrash_jazz

    thrash_jazz

    Jan 11, 2002
    Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
    Artist: JAF Basses, Circle K Strings
    Hi there, this should be in Bass Humour and Gig Stories.

    Have a nice day :)
     
  11. Feb 12, 2003 #4
    Stanley Design

    Stanley Design

    Dec 20, 2002
    Prince Edward Island
    what do you call a guy that hangs out with a band?

    .........a guitarist
     
  14. Feb 12, 2003 #5
    FeTiS

    FeTiS

    Feb 23, 2001
    your backyard spying on you
    almost any joke about musicians can be used for any instrument, just change drummer to bassist, guitarist to singer, etc.
     
  17. Feb 12, 2003 #6
    Dave Castelo

    Dave Castelo

    Apr 19, 2000
    Mexico
    i thought that was the drummer :confused:

    also, read te post above... there are few "exclusive" jokes for any instrument
     
  20. Feb 13, 2003 #7
    Fretless12ver

    Fretless12ver

    Nov 28, 2002
    Nampa, Idaho USA
    How many guitarists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    Six - One to screw it in and the other five to stand back and say, "I could have done that!" :D
     
  24. Feb 14, 2003 #8
    Garrett Mireles

    Garrett Mireles

    Oct 26, 2002
    USA, Kailua, Oahu
    :D

    Let me give this a shot...

    Hmm...

    ...darn I suck. :spit:
     
  27. Feb 17, 2003 #9
    desperate_angel

    desperate_angel

    Aug 1, 2002
    Ashland, KY
    How many guitarists does it take to change a lightbulb?

    2. 1 to put it in, the other one to say that John Petrucci could have done it one handed behind his back while getting bullwhipped.

    (quoted from my friend Jeff Hall, a guitarist)
     
  30. Feb 24, 2003 #10
    Tsal

    Tsal

    Jan 28, 2000
    Finland, EU
    Here's a nice one, which seems to start as a bassist joke but.. :p

    -How many bassists you need to change a lightbulb?

    -Thirteen. One changes the bulb and the other twelve try to stop guitarists from running into the spotlight! :D
     
  33. Feb 24, 2003 #11
    Petebass

    Petebass

    Dec 22, 2002
    QLD Australia
    What do you throw a drowning guitarist?
    His amp.

    How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
    1. He just grabs hold of it and the whole world revolves around him.
     
  36. Feb 25, 2003 #12
    Chad Michael

    Chad Michael

    Sep 19, 2001
    Pacific Northwest USA
    Nice....:D
     
  39. Feb 26, 2003 #13
    Jontom

    Jontom

    Mar 11, 2002
    New York
    What do you call a guitarist with no girlfriend?


    HOMELESS!:)
     
  42. Feb 26, 2003 #14
    Freaky Fender

    Freaky Fender

    May 27, 2001
    Saunderstown, RI
    what did the guitarist say when his headstock snapped off?

    "IT's a Steinberg hybred, uh yeah.. i'm testing it for them.."
     
  45. Feb 26, 2003 #15
    old_skool

    old_skool

    Aug 17, 2000
    Milwaukee, WI
    How can you tell which kid on the playground is a guitarists?

    The one who cant swing and doesnt know how to use a slide properly.
     
  48. Mar 7, 2003 #16
    Captain Anarchy

    Captain Anarchy Guest

    Nov 29, 2002
    canada
    thanx everyone youve been a big help:bassist:
     
  51. Mar 7, 2003 #17
    Chad Michael

    Chad Michael

    Sep 19, 2001
    Pacific Northwest USA
    Q- "Why did God give guitarists one more brain cell than a cow?"

    A - "So they wouldn't take a crap on the stage."
     
  54. Mar 7, 2003 #18
    NJL

    NJL

    Apr 12, 2002
    San Antonio
    since my main axe is trumpet, we joke about bone' players a lot:

    how do you get a trombone player off your porch?

    pay him for the pizza

    ;) :rolleyes:
     
  57. Mar 8, 2003 #19
    James reeve5

    James reeve5

    Feb 18, 2003
    Orange County, California
    Q: What did the drummer do when the guitarist started his solo?

    A: Thanked God the bass player was there
     
  60. Mar 8, 2003 #20
    Ben Mishler

    Ben Mishler

    Jan 22, 2003
    San Jose
    :D Hilarious. I am using that one today at practice.
     
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