jokes against guitarist

here is an oldie, but goodie....

How do you get a guitarist to turn down?

Put sheet music in front of him...........

(Da dum!)

What do you do when a guitar player come to your door?

Pay for the pizza!

 

Hi there, this should be in Bass Humour and Gig Stories.

Have a nice day

 

what do you call a guy that hangs out with a band?

.........a guitarist

 

almost any joke about musicians can be used for any instrument, just change drummer to bassist, guitarist to singer, etc.

 

i thought that was the drummer

also, read te post above... there are few "exclusive" jokes for any instrument

 

How many guitarists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Six - One to screw it in and the other five to stand back and say, "I could have done that!"

 

Let me give this a shot...

Hmm...

...darn I suck.

 

How many guitarists does it take to change a lightbulb?

2. 1 to put it in, the other one to say that John Petrucci could have done it one handed behind his back while getting bullwhipped.

(quoted from my friend Jeff Hall, a guitarist)

 

Here's a nice one, which seems to start as a bassist joke but..

-How many bassists you need to change a lightbulb?

-Thirteen. One changes the bulb and the other twelve try to stop guitarists from running into the spotlight!

 

What do you throw a drowning guitarist?
His amp.

How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
1. He just grabs hold of it and the whole world revolves around him.

 

Nice....

 

What do you call a guitarist with no girlfriend?


HOMELESS!

 

what did the guitarist say when his headstock snapped off?

"IT's a Steinberg hybred, uh yeah.. i'm testing it for them.."

 

How can you tell which kid on the playground is a guitarists?

The one who cant swing and doesnt know how to use a slide properly.

 

Q- "Why did God give guitarists one more brain cell than a cow?"

A - "So they wouldn't take a crap on the stage."

 

since my main axe is trumpet, we joke about bone' players a lot:

how do you get a trombone player off your porch?

pay him for the pizza

 

Q: What did the drummer do when the guitarist started his solo?

A: Thanked God the bass player was there

 

Hilarious. I am using that one today at practice.