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Jokes from Germany

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Munjibunga, Apr 26, 2010.


  1. Munjibunga

    Munjibunga Total Hyper-Elite Member Gold Supporting Member

    May 6, 2000
    San Diego (when not at Groom Lake)
    Independent Contractor to Bass San Diego
    OK, for all you guys who don't appreciate my sense of humor, maybe these will tickle your fancy.

    Jokes from Germany:

    Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband is in hospital.

    A man walks into a pub.
    He is an alcoholic whose drinking problem is destroying his family.

    Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge?
    She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem.

    What do you call a cat with no tail?
    A Manx cat.

    Why do undertakers wear ties?
    Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

    How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
    One.

    Why do women fake orgasms?
    Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

    Two men are sitting in a pub.
    One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.'
    The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidize her drug habit.'

    Two cows are in a field. Suddenly, from behind a bush, a rabbit leaps out and runs away. One cow looks round a bit, eats some grass and then wanders off.

    Why are there no aspirin in the jungle?
    Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell
    pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest.
     
  2. IconBasser

    IconBasser Scuba Viking Supporting Member

    Feb 28, 2007
    Alta Loma, California
    did you hear that? That was the sound of every iota of humor in the OP going right over my head.
     
  3. Maybe it implies that there is no sense of humour? Perhaps the whole post is the joke?

    Otherwise, I missed it as well....
     
  4. Simo98

    Simo98

    Jun 18, 2009
    QLD, Australia
    Dry, so terribly dry..

    But I love them.
     
  5. warwick.hoy

    warwick.hoy

    Aug 20, 2006
    Spokane, WA.
    Beta Tester: Source Audio.
  6. warwick.hoy

    warwick.hoy

    Aug 20, 2006
    Spokane, WA.
    Beta Tester: Source Audio.
  7. waleross

    waleross

    Nov 27, 2009
    South Florida
    I'm going back to sleep !
     
  8.  
  9. EdHunter

    EdHunter

    Jan 14, 2010
    Dublin
    Another "Stuck von Deutsches Humor"...


    Why does the town hall in Munich have four clocks?

    So that four people can tell the time at once!
     
  10. Mortiis

    Mortiis Banned

    Apr 24, 2010
    UK
    Chuckle worthy, chuckle worthy indeed.

    Just on the subject of Germany: They have Dunkin' Donuts! We don't have Dunkin' Donuts :( Also, when I was in Berlin the girl behind the counter did try and charge for a donut.

    edit: apparently there is at least one in London, but that is too far away to go for donuts.
     
  11. burk48237

    burk48237 Supporting Member

    Nov 22, 2004
    Oak Park, MI
    Ah, the Germans, they were the victims of the "Worlds funniest joke". It was so funny everyone who heard it died laughing.

     
  12. I lol'd.
     
  13. RWP

    RWP

    Jul 1, 2006
    Doesn't get any dryer than than that. :)
     
  14. Munjibunga

    Munjibunga Total Hyper-Elite Member Gold Supporting Member

    May 6, 2000
    San Diego (when not at Groom Lake)
    Independent Contractor to Bass San Diego
  15. Why don't Jewish cannibals like eating Germans?

    ... They give them gas.
     
  16. RWP

    RWP

    Jul 1, 2006
    ^^^ LOL ^^^
     

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