Q: What does a bass player use for contraception? A: His personality. Q: What's the difference between a bassist and a monk? A: the monk chooses to be celibate. But seriously folks... Oh, while I'm here, some drummer jokes: Q: What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians? A: A drummer! Q: What has three legs and a snugglemuffin on top? A: A drum stool.