Just another Craigslist ad

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by Alik, Sep 4, 2018.

  1. Alik


    Apr 13, 2013
    El Paso, TX
    Yes, just another ad found in some city in the great state of Texas. When I started reading it, I kind of laughed but then I recognized some major mistakes I've done in the past while replying to an ad. :rollno:Link included.
    Comment with your own mistakes :p

    D-Bag | The Band | Needs Players!

    Ad starts here:

    D-Bag | The Band | Needs Players!

    Do YOU have what it takes to be a D-Bag ? We are pretty specific in our needs and only want the best of the best that Austin has to offer!

    In order to be considered, please reply to this ad in one of the following required ways:

    1. Without providing a name or phone number. This is a big plus in choosing you to audition! (Bonus points if you need to see our setlist, gig schedule, age, picture, SS# of all members before you provide a name.

    2. Tell us how great and experienced you are and assure us that you have been playing for many many many years. (Bonus points if you insist on $100 minimum per gig, no 6th street gigs and double that for gigs outside of downtown)
    Make sure however that you have no recorded examples, samples, links, CDs or references of all those many years of playing as a pro! This is sure to get us interested and push you to the top of the list! I can hear the jams and feel the connection and camaraderie happening already! This will likely result in us bypassing the audition altogether and just have you join us on stage for the next gig! Shoot rehearsal not even necessary for a pro like yourself.

    3. For those who can't follow the first 2 requirements, please send us a sample of your playing on your cell phone. The crappier the tone, the crappier the sound, the crappier the playing, the better chance of you getting this position!! Seriously just let it flow naturally and unbridled, really rock it out on that cell phone quality so we can really feel where you are coming from!

    4. And finally, for those who are 'truly professional' please send us a YouTube video of your playing, BUT make CERTAIN that it is at least 5 to10 years old and a worn thin classic from Clapton, Santana or Stevie Ray Vaughn. The older the clip the better!! A little tip: It will help your chances greatly if you can pre-cursor the old video clip by telling us in advance how you sound much better in person and are even BETTER now!

    5. (Pure BONUS points for the super ambitious) Ask if the gig is still available before you 'officially' reply! THAT one is our favorite. FOR sure you'll get a response on that time proven classic! That is just showing us some high-quality initiative right there and we are happy to reward that kind of effort! Whew good job son!

    If you can manage any or all of those requirements, you may have what it takes to be a true D-Bag and we want to hear from you!

    { End of ad }
    BassCliff likes this.
  2. MattZilla


    Jun 26, 2013
    That kind of felt good to read.

    Does that make me a bad person?
    dannylectro, Alik and saabfender like this.
  3. BassCliff


    May 17, 2012
    So. Cal.

    The sarcasm is strong with this one. I like it!

    The ad forgot to mention that the applicant need not have transportation because the band runs their own Uber service. :p

    Thank you for your indulgence,

    Rebel Rocker, MattZilla, Alik and 2 others like this.
  4. saabfender

    saabfender Inactive

    Jan 10, 2018
    I think I played with those guys a couple of years ago. They were really a bunch of...
  5. jackn1202


    Feb 14, 2018
    Austin, TX
    I'm gonna mark this page in case I ever get the chance to respond to a wanted ad. Seems like good advice! :roflmao:
    MattZilla likes this.
  6. Alik


    Apr 13, 2013
    El Paso, TX
    Wait! There's more!
    See for yourself