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just some humor for all

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by retitled, Sep 9, 2005.

  1. retitled


    Feb 13, 2004
    forest hills
    ,.o0 EVER WONDER ....
    Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
    Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? !
    Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
    Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
    Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
    Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
    Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker ?
    Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
    Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
    Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
    Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
    You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?! !
    Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
    Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
    If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
    If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
  2. Hahah, those are great. I love the "congress" one. I'll have to remember that. :)
  3. UnsungZeros

    UnsungZeros The only winning move is not to play.

    I've seen variants of that list before. That one missed two of my favorites:

    Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?
    Why is it when something is transported by car it's called a shipment, but when it's transported by ship it's called cargo?
  4. Tash


    Feb 13, 2005
    Bel Air Maryland
    No, but I do often how many times Carlin skits will get posted on the net before people realize they are only funny when done by Carlin himself.
  5. heres something funny, if not quite similar to the other ones.

    Some people are slinkys - not really good for anything
    but you cant help but smile when you see one tumble
    down the stairs.... :D
  6. Supernova67


    Jun 21, 2005
  7. LOL, funny!:)
  8. simpy1


    Mar 31, 2005
    New Zealand
    If you want really funny quotes, you can't lose with Jack Handey.