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Just wished my dead friend Happy Birthday on his facebook page

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by mellowinman, Oct 8, 2013.


  1. mellowinman

    mellowinman Free Man

    Oct 19, 2011
    Minneapolis
    It sounds so warped. It feels so warped.

    And yet you know it's the right thing to do. When you die, you live on, on facebook. And your friends can say, "Happy Birthday," and post about how much they miss you. And they will.

    Tim died a few days before his fiftieth birthday. Today, he would've turned fifty one. But he didn't because he died in his sleep, which is what I have down as "favored way to go."

    Tim died in his sleep just over one year ago. All our friends, back in Minneapolis, had a big party planned for him, and after he died, they went ahead and had the party anyway. I wasn't able to make it. Tim was a close friend; a good friend; a person I've known since fifth grade, and at one time was probably my best friend.

    But I still didn't have time for him, and that's not because I'm horrible. Life gives you these commitments, and mine are to my wife first, and then all our animals, and then my mom and dad, who are still struggling along in their eighties, and, well, stuff.

    So I wasn't going to go to Tim's party when he was alive, and I sure wasn't going to drop everything and go up there after he died. But that doesn't mean I don't miss him. I do.

    I really, really do.

    Tim won't be posting any more pictures of his dog, or his sisters, or his mom, or whatever thing passes his fancy. He won't be sharing recipes, or posting photos of what he's about to eat. He won't be posting a picture of a mountain, or a rainbow, or a horse with words printed over it, with some kind of inspirational or funny message.

    And there's one other thing he'll never do:

    Delete his facebook profile.

    God bless you, Tim, and Happy Birthday.
     
  2. bassinplace

    bassinplace

    Dec 1, 2008
    Hey, if it makes you feel better to post there, it's certainly not hurting anyone. We all grieve in our own way. Sorry for your loss.
     
  3. MatticusMania

    MatticusMania LANA! HE REMEMBERS ME!

    Sep 10, 2008
    Pomona, SoCal
    Im going to include login, password and security question answers in my living will with instructions for someone close to me to take my page down.
     
  4. bassinplace

    bassinplace

    Dec 1, 2008
    It is kinda eerie that the page will live on in perpetuity after I'm gone. Hell, mine's got all my bass cover videos posted on it. Let that sucker live on! :D
     
  5. Relic

    Relic Cow are you?

    Sep 12, 2006
    Robbinsville, NJ
    Believe it or not, I have two dead friends on my FB. In some ways it's eerie... reading the last few things that they typed...one died in a car accident, obviously unexpected.. when you go back and read her posts from her last few days on earth..wow, it's humbling. One day everything is normal, nothing out of the ordinary, next day, gone.
    I think it's a more fitting tribute in some ways than a gold gray tombstone. Somehow it seems more real ironically...
     
  6. Shakin-Slim

    Shakin-Slim

    Jul 23, 2009
    Tokyo, Japan
    My cousin killed herself last year, and her facebook page is always popping up on the sidebar for one reason or another. I haven't decided yet whether I like it or not.
     
  7. gustobassman

    gustobassman I'm only here for the after party.. Supporting Member

    Mar 31, 2011
    Sandy Eggo
    That happened to me yesterday on FB. I saw the birthday notice and it was kinda weird. My friend died a year ago, a week before his 30th birthday. I didn't post, but its strange to see the page still up sometimes.
     
  8. A friend of mine committed suicide my freshman year of high school. I guess that was 4 and a half years ago. He showed up on chat once and it shocked me so much I cried. His parents were getting on his Facebook, accepting friend requests, talking to people, and adding fancy doctored photos of him in his best church outfits.

    Really weird thing to see.
     
  9. I'd say creepy.
     
  10. I still visit a couple of my deceased friends' Facebook or Orkut pages sometimes. It's an indescribable feeling, TBQH - feeling this incredible painful weight in your heart - I always try thinking of the good times we spent together.

    Just a note: a deceased person's account can be memorialized on Facebook if the said person's immediate family want. I'm not entirely sure as to what purpose it'd serve, but they do have this option.
     
  11. two fingers

    two fingers Opinionated blowhard. But not mad about it. Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2005
    Eastern NC USA
    People grieve in different ways. Unless it offends other survivors I say go for it. My mother and father visit my sister's grave almost daily. I haven't been back there since '94 (the funeral). They don't bug me about not going. I don't bug them about going.

    Sorry for your loss Mellow. Sounds like a good guy. As long as you're talking about him, he isn't gone.
     
  12. Papersen

    Papersen Supporting Member

    Mar 22, 2002
    Wow, never thought about that.
    Maybe that´s one of the reasons I don´t contact or greet my friends thru FB.
     

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