Keeping someone around for the benefits?

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by MirageBass, Jul 20, 2009.

  1. This has less to do with me than a friend's band.

    I'm constantly shuffling between my hometown and my college until I graduate, but I still practice and play. My old drummer and singer are in a new band. Local, but they've been around for about a year and a half. They still play to small crowds, mostly friends and family, because they play a gig every one or two months and are focusing more on recording, which never actually goes down because all musicians are flakes (admit it).

    My old drummer made some not-so-subtle gestures as to wanting me to join the band. I told him no, because it would be disingenuous of me to promise that commitment while still looking to finish my degree, and I didn't want to yank the rug out from under their current player.

    As some background on their current player: They keep him around because he's a member of the "lucky sperm club" (the kid of some fairly prominent musicians) and therefore gives them a rehearsal space, industry contacts, etc. Typically, most of the contacts blow smoke up their rear ends all the time, but the kicker is that this kid sucks out loud. I attended a few shows. He is absolutely atrocious. No soul, no groove, terrible sound that sits in the mix like a turd, and he spends all his time getting stoned and not following up on commitments.

    So I'm not sure what to tell them anymore about their situation. They don't like this kid (or his playing), but they're keeping him around for the possibility of eventually getting their material out to labels (which may yet materialize). The guitarist has no job and is living with his parents. The singer dropped out of college and is working on stage productions that get in the way of scheduling. Only the drummer has his crap straight and is attending college while doing session work and the band.

    Would you keep someone around in that situation? (I told them that they don't *need* a better bass player, just kick his rear end around a little and get him to lock in with the drummer and write his bass lines for him, as long as he gives them what they expect.)
  2. I can tell you that I, personally, would have a pretty tough time justifying this guy being in my band. Then again, it sounds like these guys have different goals than I do. I don't care about being in a band full time and getting signed. Even if I did, I don't think I could tolerate this situation. People who don't pull their own weight get on my nerves.

    The real answer is that they just have to weigh out the pros and cons and figure it out for themselves.
  3. Darn, I though this was gonna be about a girl you don't particularly like anymore.........

    Sadly, sperm boy will never do them any good, with all the contacts and money in the world. His type will probably never get it together, so 'the industry' will never touch the band.

    You obviously don't really want to get involved, so don't, even though you want to help.
  4. Greyvagabond


    Aug 17, 2007
    If they want to attract a bass player that does more than someone who, "spends all his time getting stoned and not following up on commitments," they're going to have to start being more serious themselves. The only person in the band who seems worth a damn (musically/business wise) is the drummer. I'd stear clear; being in friend's bands is like loaning a friend money; just a bad idea, and it changes the dynamics.
  5. Kenny Allyn

    Kenny Allyn

    Mar 25, 2006
    In a band you're either in it to play "for real" ... or your not!

    Having the right mix of members and giving it your all, is gonna get you farther than having a token member in there for some percieved benefit.

    :eyebrow: ... A band, artist, songwriter whatever is not going to "make it" without all of the right stuff (and some luck)
  6. scottbass

    scottbass Bass lines like a big, funky giant

    Jul 13, 2004
    Southern MN
    There's your real answer. The rest of the stuff about their current bassist, his connections, his lack of talent, etc. is not relevant to YOU and your current situation. When you are finished splitting time between home and college you will have to reevaluate the situation. But for now you have decided not to compromise the timely completion of your degree. Wise decision. Go with that. IMHO
  7. MatticusMania

    MatticusMania LANA! HE REMEMBERS ME!

    Sep 10, 2008
    Pomona, SoCal
    I kept my ex wife around for a little longer than I wanted to, in hopes of using some of her income to pay off a traffic ticket I had coming my way. Though we were at a wedding and I just couldnt take her bitching anymore. I kicked her to the curb and paid the ticket myself, after an extension.
  8. LilRay

    LilRay Commercial User

    Dec 27, 2007
    Between my Roscoe and Leather
    Owner: Cockeyed Cow Custom Leathercraft
    If the guy is major "Fecal Blow" wouldn't he eventually hurt the other cats, even though he's connected?

    Connections only go so far. The connections will find a polite way to tell the guy and his parents that he isn't that good and worlds will collide and egos will be crushed.

    Being a member of the lucky sperm club can often be worse than not. You're then looked upon to excel your parents, and tragedy occurs when you can't/don't for laziness or lack of effort.

    God Bless, Ray
  9. sounds like you'd be better off suggesting to the drummer that the two of you start a side project together; sounds like the other members of this band aren't heading for the same goals, nor willing to put the time & effort needed into the band to really get there. From your comments it isn't just their current bass player who isn't putting much of an effort into the music.
  10. What's the purpose of a rehearsal space & industry contacts? The first is to get better, so the second will hire you. Apparently rehearsal isn't improving things, so they might have the priviledge of being rejected by the best Industry Contacts in your area.
  11. KPAX

    KPAX Inactive

    Mar 22, 2005
    Since he's the kid of prominent musicians he probably has loads of innate musical talent. Maybe HE should dump the freeloading band and get a better one.
  12. Stumbo

    Stumbo Guest

    Feb 11, 2008
    They don't have a real band. :rollno:

    Don't worry about it. Just be glad you're not in the band.

    Finish your degree. Maybe jam with them when you're home.

    Have fun with that and concentrate on your education.

    It's not your battle so I suggest you don't waste brains cells worrying about it.
  13. Sounds like the only one worth anything in the group is the drummer. If it were me (and it's not but...), I'd probably encourage the dummer to seek a better situation and to keep in touch. When you are done with school and/or have time, you may be able to get somewhere with this dummer (and his 'new' situation). The guitarist and singer sound like they are not much more together than the celebrity brat kid. I'd just let those 3 chase their tails off into the sunset.

    Life is just too short to waste time on...wastes of time.
  14. Scoring:

    9.6 for confusion factor, aka 'Whaa_?'
    8.9 for irrelevancy
    9.8 for "drunk dial" posting

    jes messin' wit ya! :D
  15. This.

    When I was younger ( a long, long, time ago...) we use to keep losers in the band because they had instruments or garage to use...I guess some things never change! :rollno: