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Kids are cold and heartless

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Uncle K, Jun 16, 2016.

  1. Uncle K

    Uncle K The bass player doesn't get a sandwich Supporting Member

    Aug 22, 2011
    Erie, PA
    My 8-year-old nephew acquired two wooden practice swords. He asked me if I wanted to sword fight, and like an idiot I said yes.

    I lasted about 10 seconds.

    It stings.

    He showed no remorse, and offered no apology. Instead he exclaimed, "Haha, I cut your arm off! I won!"

    Have a laugh at my expense.
    Last edited: Jun 16, 2016
  2. INTP


    Nov 28, 2003
    Dallas, TX
    If my kids had wooden swords, they'd be dead by now.

    The ones they were using today are pool noodles, cut in half, and with duct tape to mark the handle. They still manage to hurt each other, but not lethally so.
    hrodbert696 and twocargar like this.
  3. hondo4life


    Feb 29, 2016
    Back in my day, us kids made play swords out of loose fence pickets with nails sticking out of them. I don't recall anyone ending up dead.
    twinjet, JCooper and twocargar like this.
  4. BigDanT

    BigDanT Supporting Member

    Aug 26, 2011
    I'm the king of child inflicted injuries. Played hockey with my 10 year old nephew. We started fighting with the sticks. He hit me in just he right spot. Broke my wrist. He laughed.

    When my daughter was two I was laying on my back in bed. She was jumping on the bed and decided to land knees first on my face. My wife said she heard the pop from the other room. Nose broken.
  5. slobake

    slobake resident ... something Supporting Member

    Were the nails rusty? It's no good unless the nails are rusty.
  6. hrodbert696

    hrodbert696 Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member


    You want me to kiss it and make it better?

    Gravedigger Dav likes this.
  7. buzzbass

    buzzbass Shoo Shoo Retarded Flu !

    Apr 23, 2003
    P*ssy ! LOL
  8. I had just walked in the door from getting a vasectomy, when my then three year old son runs up to greet daddy at the door. He bam bammed his head right into my vesnair... gotta love kids!
  9. Four years late for the vasectomy?
  10. Thank heavens they weren't toddlers!!

  11. MonetBass

    MonetBass ♪ Just listen ♫ Supporting Member

    Sep 15, 2006
    Tulsa, OK
    No apologies and no remorse = butts get beat, at my house. And I'm not talking about wailing on them, just one quick swat to a bare butt. Respectfulness ensues. Keep in mind this works better when they're younger. How do I know? Myself and our son are living proof.
  12. OP, that was worth a laugh at your expense. :roflmao:

    @MonetBass All I have to do is threaten a spanking and my kids start crying. My wife and I don't usually spank our kids. I can only think of twice when I actually smacked thier behinds.
    MonetBass likes this.
  13. Stewie26

    Stewie26 Supporting Member

    True. My big bother threw me out of a tree house fort we built when we were young. Ended up in the ER with a concussion. But now we laugh about it. Actually, come to think about it, he laughs harder than I do.
  14. If you didn't get your grapes crushed or kicked in the ding-ding consider yourself lucky!
    PortlandBass77, geeza and twocargar like this.
  15. MonetBass

    MonetBass ♪ Just listen ♫ Supporting Member

    Sep 15, 2006
    Tulsa, OK
    Exactly. It's been years since we've spanked our son, but he's a pre-teen (a whole 'nother ball game). Regardless, he respects us and always apologizes on his own or immediately when prompted.
    twocargar likes this.
  16. placedesjardins


    May 7, 2012
    Well, you learned from your mistake.
    I've competed in fencing (foil and sabre) and studied kendo. Kids never have fun sword fighting me. Not to be a jerk, but I parry all their attacks. They become frustrated. Later, I explain to them that the sword fighting they see in movies and TV are all choreographed.

    Worst uncle of the year award goes to me. I am cold and heartless. It is the way of the samurai. LOL. Just kidding.
    DanAleks and nolezmaj like this.
  17. hbarcat

    hbarcat Supporting Member

    Aug 24, 2006
    Rochelle, Illinois
    I was hanging out at my friend's house in 8th grade when he mentioned that his mother used to fence and still had fencing equipment for 2 people.

    Holy crap, what were we waiting for ?!! Let's get this stuff out and start swinging swords at each other !!

    We were just smart enough to wear the face shields and gloves, but the rest of the protection was for sissies.

    Of course we wailed away on each other like amateurs, but then actually took it seriously enough to go to the library and read up on fencing techniques and practice methods. We fenced together maybe a few times a month through high school and became passable as intermediates.
  18. twinjet

    twinjet GE90-equipped Moderator Staff Member

    Sep 23, 2008
    That's nothing. My younger brother and I used to beat each other with metal bats, pretending we were Jedi. We always did walk away with large bruises and bumps. I felt the "force" of that bat... ;)
  19. D M C

    D M C Oh good god, this again? Supporting Member

    Feb 19, 2015
    North America, Earth
    On the threshold of a verge on the brink.
    Lived in a neighborhood, when I was a kid, that had 4 brothers at least one of which had a broken arm or leg from the time the oldest turned 10 or so, until the youngest graduated from high school. That's about 12 years where at least one continuously had a broken limb. They usually broke one another's limbs, but sometimes they outsourced.

    Their poor parents spent a fortune in doctor bills.
  20. SteveC

    SteveC Moderator Staff Member

    Nov 12, 2004
    North Dakota
    It's Father's Day today. My 10 year old daughter made me a card. Mom is making breakfast - homemade biscuits and gravy- and she comes over to give me the card. On the way she asks mom if breakfast will be ready soon as she's starving. Mom's says it'll be a couple minutes. Daughter whines. I suggest (nicely) that she give mom a break as she's working hard on breakfast. She looks at me, says I'm yelling at her and says she'd rather rip up the card than give it to me. I say do what you think you need to do. She looks me in the eye, holds the card up and rips it to pieces.

    Happy Fathers Day.
    Frozen J likes this.

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