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Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by pklima, Sep 26, 2013.
The fret lines absorb "mwah", rendering a fretless unplayable over time
Ray Charles never learned to read music.
A Fender Precision is so called because it is more in tune than any other bass.
But...but that's not a myth...it's just a bad joke
WINNER! Game Over, close the thread!
A tort pickguard sounds better than a white one.
When in doubt, just plug it in and hope for the best!
The MORE you drink and the LOUDER you play... the BETTER you sound...
Any bass worth under a 1000$ is useless.
The Seinfeld theme was played on a P-bass with flats.
Factory-vintaged basses are gnawed by trained beavers
Playing with strings out of tune will eventually ruin the molecular structure of the wood and result in poor tone.
Storing batteries in the freezer for at least a year will bring out the high end in your tone.
Bridge and tuners must be made of the same metal. If not, the strings will not vibrate a true pitch.
Boiling old strings in cat urine will bring them back to life.
Always stand 'stage left'. No exceptions.
Carol Kaye is James Jamerson
If you want to get the chicks, then play bass.
I play much better on my other bass.
For the best bass sound, make the deepest possible smiley face with your eq......
If you can hear yourself play, ask the guitarist to turn up.
Sound techs belong to a secret cult focused on humiliating bassists.
Married couples make the best LS/LG combo.
Your setlist should be written to make you happy - the audience doesn't know what good music is.
Playing for free is good for the industry.
Mixing drivers ruins your sound...
The wattage ratings of your cabinet and your amp must be exactly the same. If your amp puts out more watts than your cab can handle, you will be overpowering your cab - which will destroy it. If your amp puts out fewer watts than your cab can handle, you will be underpowering your cab - which will destroy it.
...only non-national bassists, and "cult" is a strong word.
What is ls/lg?
Lead singer, lead guitar is my guess.
You can only sound appropriately brutal for real metal if you have tattoos covering both arms. They effect the resonant frequency of the arms-bass system as a whole. It's science!