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Let's spread some musical misinformation

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by pklima, Sep 26, 2013.


  1. petrus61

    petrus61 Supporting Member

    The fret lines absorb "mwah", rendering a fretless unplayable over time
     
  2. MVE

    MVE

    Aug 8, 2010
    Ray Charles never learned to read music.
     
  3. SoVeryTired

    SoVeryTired Endorsing nothing, recommending much

    Jul 2, 2011
    Milton Keynes, UK
    A Fender Precision is so called because it is more in tune than any other bass.
     
  4. But...but that's not a myth...it's just a bad joke

    WINNER! Game Over, close the thread! :D
     
  5. A tort pickguard sounds better than a white one.
     
  6. karl_em_all

    karl_em_all

    Jul 11, 2013
    Dimension X
    When in doubt, just plug it in and hope for the best!
     
  7. TommyD69

    TommyD69 Semper Gumby

    Sep 26, 2013
    Cleveland, Ohio
    The MORE you drink and the LOUDER you play... the BETTER you sound...
     
  8. Milk

    Milk

    Sep 16, 2013
    Montreal, Canada
    Any bass worth under a 1000$ is useless.
     
  9. Passinwind

    Passinwind I Know Nothing Supporting Member Commercial User

    Dec 3, 2003
    Columbia River Gorge, WA.
    Owner/Designer &Toaster Tech Passinwind Electronics
    The Seinfeld theme was played on a P-bass with flats.
     
  10. nojj

    nojj Guest

    May 20, 2013
    Factory-vintaged basses are gnawed by trained beavers
     
  11. BassChuck

    BassChuck

    Nov 15, 2005
    Cincinnati
    Playing with strings out of tune will eventually ruin the molecular structure of the wood and result in poor tone.

    Storing batteries in the freezer for at least a year will bring out the high end in your tone.

    Bridge and tuners must be made of the same metal. If not, the strings will not vibrate a true pitch.

    Boiling old strings in cat urine will bring them back to life.

    Always stand 'stage left'. No exceptions.
     
  12. Doctor_Clock

    Doctor_Clock The Moon Machine Gold Supporting Member

    May 6, 2013
    Brooklyn, NY
    Carol Kaye is James Jamerson
     
    BrotherRay and EatS1stBassist like this.
  13. NWB

    NWB

    Apr 30, 2008
    Kirkland, WA
    If you want to get the chicks, then play bass.
     
  14. carpcutter

    carpcutter

    Dec 6, 2010
    DC
    I play much better on my other bass.
     
  15. Dave the Bass

    Dave the Bass

    Sep 11, 2011
    Hannibal,Mo
    For the best bass sound, make the deepest possible smiley face with your eq......
     
    Insederec, Joanna, devilstone and 5 others like this.
  16. charlie monroe

    charlie monroe Supporting Member

    Feb 14, 2011
    Buffalo, NY
    If you can hear yourself play, ask the guitarist to turn up.

    Sound techs belong to a secret cult focused on humiliating bassists.

    Married couples make the best LS/LG combo.

    Your setlist should be written to make you happy - the audience doesn't know what good music is.

    Playing for free is good for the industry.
     
    Matt Bowen and RLT like this.
  17. fishtx

    fishtx Supporting Member

    Mar 30, 2007
    Dallas, TX
    Endorsing Artist: Spector Basses/Genz Benz - RIP/Mojo Hand FX
    Mixing drivers ruins your sound...
     
  18. scottbass

    scottbass Bass lines like a big, funky giant

    Jul 13, 2004
    Southern MN
    The wattage ratings of your cabinet and your amp must be exactly the same. If your amp puts out more watts than your cab can handle, you will be overpowering your cab - which will destroy it. If your amp puts out fewer watts than your cab can handle, you will be underpowering your cab - which will destroy it.
     
  19. MattZilla

    MattZilla

    Jun 26, 2013
    CNY
    ...only non-national bassists, and "cult" is a strong word.

    What is ls/lg?
     
  20. Lead singer, lead guitar is my guess.

    You can only sound appropriately brutal for real metal if you have tattoos covering both arms. They effect the resonant frequency of the arms-bass system as a whole. It's science!