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Let's spread some musical misinformation

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by pklima, Sep 26, 2013.


  1. The modern Vacuum tube was named by the inventor J. Edgar Hoover for their original use in early 19th century Hoover vacuums before his illustrious career as a cross dressing lawman.
     
  2. Dbt25677

    Dbt25677

    Jun 9, 2013
    Wal basses are overpriced and the quality is no better than that of a 2005 Squier Affinity series bass.
     
    gregouille23 likes this.
  3. deste

    deste

    Sep 14, 2009
    Bologna, Italy, Europe
    Endorsing Artist: GullanskyLab pickups
    The only way to achieve the Perfect Sound is a tort pickguard.
     
    Matt Bowen, Shannon and 47th Street like this.
  4. It is mandatory that foreign people judge the talent, or lack thereof, of Americans since, of course, half of the entrants will be foreign.
     
    Shannon likes this.
  5. FreshTrooperXBL

    FreshTrooperXBL

    Jul 24, 2011
    Riverside
    If you're on Talkbass you probably play pretty terribly, because the consensus on TB is that everyone "can't play" and no one speaks of humbly of themselves.

    You have a guitar in your hand ...you must be a gui****.
     
    Matt Bowen likes this.
  6. postalflunkie

    postalflunkie

    Jun 12, 2013
    The tuba is a heavy metal instrument
     
  7. Desirsar

    Desirsar

    Mar 1, 2013
    Kansas
    That's just silly. They were session musicians for The Monkees, rather.
     
  8. Rodger Bryan

    Rodger Bryan Supporting Member

    Jun 17, 2006
    Connecticut
    Jaco wrote "The Chicken".
     
  9. GlennW

    GlennW

    Sep 6, 2006
    Hendrix was really right handed. He just played like a lefty because he thought the Strat looked cooler upside down.
     
  10. Bassist4Eris

    Bassist4Eris Frat-Pack Sympathizer

    Aug 11, 2012
    Upstate NY, USA
    The Beatles are named in honor of the ancient Greek philosopher Beateles, who is actually a distant ancestor of Ringo Starr's. In fact, Ringo's rings have been handed down to him from the time of Beateles, generation after generation. Some whisper that they are cursed, and the curse lead directly to Paul McCartney's death. I know for a fact that all of this is true because Ringo Starr is my boyfriend.

    Speaking of The Beatles, not many people know that "Gangnam Style" is actually an obscure George Harrison composition. Ringo told me that too.

    Sid Vicious' bass parts on "Never Mind The Bollocks" were actually played by James Jamerson. Although Carol Kaye has claimed credit as well.

    The original Count Chocula was a generous patron of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. The cereal came later.

    Bob Dylan is actually a classically-trained tenor. He only sings the way he does because for some reason he thinks chicks dig it.

    If you play John Denver's "Take Me Home Country Roads" backwards, you can hear a commercial of sorts for Jif brand peanut butter. An eerie voice chants breathily in the background "choosy moms.... choosy moms.... choosy moms...." while another voice barks harshly "CHOOSE JIF!!! CHOOSE JIF!!!"
     
  11. Guitar players prefer for all bass players to do leads so they can rest. It also keeps them out of the lime light.
     
    Matt Bowen likes this.
  12. TheAnalogKid

    TheAnalogKid Yer Doin' GREAT!!!!

    Dec 7, 2011
    Tacoma, WA
    From a guitarist, not in my band at the time, but critiquing: "Just play rapid 8th/16th notes, open E; it's a good foundation."

    "There is no money above (past) the fifth fret." <- or something like it.


    Now that I think of it, no better source of mis-info can be found in any place when you are either A) under 20 years old and B) playing in the high school band/orchestra. I got stories!

     
  13. Rockin Mike

    Rockin Mike

    May 27, 2011
    Sign here and I will make you a Star.

















    It will be a paper star, and my daughter will make it for you. Glitter for 10 cents extra.
     
  14. jazzbill

    jazzbill

    Jun 4, 2010
    Richardson, TX
    Electric Basses sound better if you skip the amp and plug 'em straight into the wall outlet.
     
  15. What you did there? I see it.
     
    BrotherRay and 47th Street like this.
  16. Lownote38

    Lownote38

    Aug 8, 2013
    Nashville, TN
    The best scale for everything is the Catatonic Scale.
     
  17. Sonicfrog

    Sonicfrog Supporting Member

    Jan 4, 2008
    Fresno, CA
    If, unlike all the great musicians, you don't happen die when you are 27... Die when you're 54! You'll be considered a FREAKING GOD-LIKE musician!!!

    It's True!!!
     
    PsyDocHill and 47th Street like this.
  18. SactoBass

    SactoBass There are some who call me.......Sactobass Supporting Member

    Jul 8, 2009
    Sacramento CA
    Most of the young singers of today would sound great without auto-tune.
     
    Matt Bowen and rumblejunkie like this.
  19. powmetalbassist

    powmetalbassist Supporting Member

    Michael Jackson is actually living out his days teaching children music in Cambodia.
     
    rumblejunkie and BurnOut like this.
  20. JHAz

    JHAz

    Jun 29, 2011
    Bass players are literally invisible to to 90 percent of women in the audience.

    Oops. Sorry. Not Misinformation.

    Yet could they shake their bootii
    without us?