Love music too much to have kids!

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous [BG]' started by Matthew_84, Mar 2, 2014.

  1. Matthew_84


    Nov 7, 2010
    It's settled! I have a beautiful, loving wife and a beautiful home. Since we got married a year ago, a lot of our family members and friends have been trying to influence us to have kids...

    My wife and I have been babysitting our 9 month old nephew since Friday at 6pm, and he has been a handful. When he's awake, we're running around frantically trying to keep everything in order. When he's asleep, or trying to, we're tucked away in our bedroom trying to be as quiet as can be to not distract and get him to finally sleep. Plus, he's had a fever this whole time and is being super fussy.

    This has led to a lot of time lurking on TB, but no bass playing, or even music listening time. When he's back at his parents house, I'm cranking up the tunes!

    Screw it, I'll be honest... I'm too selfish to have kids! I just want another Warwick!
  2. DannyBob


    Aug 28, 2013
    And then you can care for the new Warwick like a child! Everyone's happy!
  3. Better to cop to it now than feel trapped and miserable later (and everyone suffers). Best wishes.
  4. I had to take a long hiatus from playing while we raised 3 kids. Now I'm gigging almost every weekend again. If I had to do it all over again ... I'll take my kids, not even close. But it's a personal decision so go for it.
  5. Matthew_84


    Nov 7, 2010
    Figures... Only parents are awake now. :p
  6. lol ... my kids are grown and out of the house. Believe it or not, I have a Sunday daytime gig, setup at 11:30 a.m. The "Chowder Cookoff" at the Culinary Institute of America in beautiful Hyde Park, NY.
  7. Tampabass

    Tampabass Supporting Member

    Feb 16, 2006
    I know you are, but what am I?
    True. And yet, despite all the "costs," there is nothing as rewarding as parenthood. Nothing.
    No reason to make any firm decisions now -- give yourself permission to change your mind.
    Not sure your age, but if you and/or your wife are in your 20s or 30s, parenthood may call.
    And if it doesn't, that's fine, too. But don't make the mistake of rejecting it out of hand, and later (potentially) regretting it.
    Just my .02
  8. BaileyMan

    BaileyMan Supporting Member

    Jan 8, 2012
    San Francisco
    I've just been having these same thoughts. Been married a little over 2 years, always thought I'd have kids, wife has been a little slower to bring kids in to our lives. I've been playing more music recently and have been thinking I'd be giving up my hobbies that I love to raise kids. Sure I could get back to them eventually, but I've been away from regular playing for 17 years...

    We'll see...what happens...
  9. If music or enjoying things are priorities, don't buy a house and have kids. Even better if you don't have a job.
  10. Savage_Dreams


    Jan 8, 2007
    have to admit, im with you!

    unfortunately im single, and finding a woman nowadays without kids is getting to be just about impossible. but thats a whole different topic ;)
  11. It's a decision everyone has to make. My wife and I have 3 insanely awesome kids - it's a massive challenge and joy raising them. It's a LOT of work, a LOT of money. It's a HUGE reward. I couldn't see not having children, but that's me. They are little pieces of me walking around the planet - it's crazy when you sit and take a breath and let it all sink in. You have to do what makes you happy. BTW - I'm in a cover band that gigs fairly infrequently - but we do rehearse just about weekly. Time management is a challenge :)
  12. Stick_Player

    Stick_Player Banned

    Nov 13, 2009
    Somewhere on the Alaska Panhandle (Juneau)
    Endorser: Plants vs. Zombies Pea Shooters
    If you do NOT want kids... do NOT have kids.

    They are unbelievably needy and selfish - just like you! :D

    Also, they co$t a LOT!
  13. Baird6869

    Baird6869 RIP Gord Downey. A True Canadian Icon. Supporting Member

    I have 18 and 16 year old boys and quit playing for 10 years while raising them and starting my career, buying a house, etc.

    I have been gigging a lot for the last 8 years or so and my wife and I had another baby 15 months ago. Oops? You bet, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. I am still gigging as I now have 2 babysitters.:bassist:

    Kids aren't for everyone but family is more important to me than making $100-200 every couple of weeks from gigs.
  14. tmdazed


    Sep 29, 2012
    Don't sell having kids short man , I play in three different projects with my son and its GREAT. it has been awesome watching his development as a guitar player from the time he was a 10 year old bugging me for his first guitar and amp to the accomplished guitar player and prolific song writer he is today. it is actually an honor and great sense of pride to be able to play along side him. After a certain time period they take care of themselves
  15. Stumbo

    Stumbo Wherever you go, there you are.

    If the kid you're babysitting has had a fever all weekend, no wonder he's been a handful. Seems to me that you should contact his parents and find out what they want you to do.

    Instead of ignoring his condition, maybe he should go to see the doc? or something? Not just do nothing for the kid....:{

    Probably best you not have kids because it seems like you don't know how to act in another's best interest.

    Good luck.
  16. Hobobob

    Hobobob Don't feed the troll, folks.

    Jan 25, 2011
    Camarillo, CA
    There's no judgement at all going on in this thread...
    It's almost as if people are different, and require different experiences to have fulfillment in their lives.
    The argument that childless people are selfish is ridiculous, and dangerous. I'd rather be honest with myself and decide to not have children, than to try and live up to some stupid societal standard and not give those children the opportunities they deserve. I see a lot more kids in poor situations than unfulfilled childless folks.
  17. Hawkbone


    Mar 23, 2009
    As for the noise thing, that's just BS. My kids were conceived, gestated and raised with lots of loud and heavy tunes playing. My best bud has his jam space right below his kids' bedrooms. They've been raised and learned to sleep with full band rehearsals right under them. On the flipside, another friend was so extreme as to request that guests not leave/enter the house or make ANY noise while kids were sleeping, and they got used to that vacuum of sound and now need it.

    Also never had a problem with destruction of my gear. They were taught early on that their toys were for playing with, my gear was for me only. Of course they were taught to use everything in the house as they became old enough to do so, including my gear, tools, stoves, knives, etc.

    They are what you make them.
  18. Makatak


    Apr 13, 2002
    New Zealand
    No matter how much stuff you have ,ive realised a house is pretty empty without kids, its definately hard work but it made me appreciate music/playing time even more. We were anti-kids for years and to be honest if my wife didnt actively suggest we have children I could have probably gone through life without them, but now its all good. We had them later in life though, got " set up " first . Its funny now seeing childless friends who own everything, appear to have nothing.
    The noise thing doesnt worry us as we live in the country, but almost every amp and/or effects module have headphone outs anyway for silent practice if you wanted to get your fix without the paranoia of waking people up, but Ill tell you if you start from day one they will sleep through anything, only parents who try to keep quiet while babys sleep end up with babys who wake up over any noise.
    The memory sleeping in after big nights on the booze , having an immaculately tidy house, plenty of money in the bank etc fades in comparison to seeing your cool kids riding bikes, playing with ther toys and running to give you a hug as soon as you come home.
    They better not touch my gear though lol !

    BTW Babysitting a Nephew,or any other child other than your own, is absolutely not going to give you any idea of what its like to have your own.
  19. Pacman

    Pacman Layin' Down Time Staff Member Gold Supporting Member

    Apr 1, 2000
    Omaha, Nebraska
    Endorsing Artist: Roscoe Guitars, DR Strings, Aguilar Amplification
    It's obviously a personal choice, and I won't judge you. But I will tell you, as someone else has, it's how they're raised. I've been a full time musician longer than my daughter's been alive. She sleeps through *anything* practicing was never an issue. I wouldn't give up being a parent or being a musician.
  20. Milk


    Sep 16, 2013
    Montreal, Canada
    Forget time, I wouldnt even have the money. Not to mention id pass down my faulty dna to them and theyd likely have psychological issues as well. God if me and my gf had kids they'd be ****ed from the get go. With our combined issues this kid would have NO CHANCE.