1. Please take 30 seconds to register your free account to remove most ads, post topics, make friends, earn reward points at our store, and more!  
    TalkBass.com has been uniting the low end since 1998.  Join us! :)

Love - opinions, thoughts, philosophies, experiences.

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Aaron Saunders, Jul 30, 2005.

  1. Aaron Saunders

    Aaron Saunders

    Apr 27, 2002
    Post 'em. Post 'em all -- I searched, and I couldn't find anything similar.

    I need food, and will reply later with my thoughts, etc. -- 6 hour shift at KFC + no food and little sleep = brain-numbing hunger.
  2. overrated....
  3. Ericman197


    Feb 23, 2004
    All that matters in this life. **** altruism, **** music, **** everything... ultimately, love is what's really important.
  4. AuG


    May 22, 2005
    Fort Collins, CO
    Wait you work at KFC and you didn't eat anything? Shame on you. :D

    Love is above all. It is the 5th Element, right??? ;)
  5. Wrong Robot

    Wrong Robot Guest

    Apr 8, 2002
    Love is like jello pudding really.
  6. nonsqtr

    nonsqtr The emperor has no clothes!

    Aug 29, 2003
    Burbank CA USA
    Love is... well... let me not go there. :D

    But love has many aspects, physical, emotional, intelectual....

    I can only tell you, that it took me a long time to find someone like Nicky.

    That "perfect combination", of everything you want.

    God, I can't even begin to communicate that kind of message, in a thread like this.

    But let's just say, that Nicky and I have the best relationship that any two people could ever have.

    We're so entirely compatible, that we can go all around the ins-and-outs of life, emotions, physical pleasure, whatever -we're on a different planet, in a way - and you know what, "I dont' care".

    Our relationship is so valuable, that I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. Not money, not political power, not economic advantage - nothing. I'd go to the ends of the earth to protect her from whatever evil forces are out there.
  7. lefty


    Sep 25, 2004
    "what`s love got to do with it"
  8. Too hard to explain. It hit me like a 40 of Cold Cock Malt Liquor. When I came to I was married, broke and the father of two. Just kidding.

  9. Aaron Saunders

    Aaron Saunders

    Apr 27, 2002
    Well, considering 2 years ago I was fired from McD's for nicking chicken nuggets...;)

    Anyway. Love. So what prompts this thread? Girl trouble. I'm not discussing that in this thread, though, because that's not the point.

    Personally, I've gotta agree with Ericman on this. It really is all that really matters. I mean, in the end, all we've got is each other, right? I'm not talking just you and your significant other, I mean love in ALL of its expressions -- between lovers, yes, but also between friends, family, etc.

    Think of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. For those who are unfamiliar, I'll do a quick breakdown -- it's a psychological theory that states that human beings have 5 levels of need that must be fullfilled one at a time, sequentially, and achieving the higher levels without completely satisfying the baser ones is useless. Upon fullfilling these needs, the subject becomes fully and completely happy. The five needs are, in order, the following:
    Physiological. Stuff like being properly fed, getting sleep, etc.
    Safety. Speaks for itself. Can't be happy living in fear.
    Love. Not specifically romantic love, but general love and acceptance from our peers.
    Esteem. Both the self-esteem for the completion of an action or the mastery of an art, and the social respect you get for doing this.
    Self-Actualization - "the desire to become more and more what one is, to become everything that one is capable of becoming."

    Check it out -- love's right smack in the middle, but check the definition of self-actualization.

    Frankly, I think the expression of love, in whatever form it will take for you, will create self-actualization. A love of music and of playing, for instance -- to constantly strive to break the barriers, a need for creative growth, to become more than you've ever been.
    IMO, Michael Manring is a perfect example here. Ever hear the guy talk? Just take a wander over onto his forum, check out his site, or read that Soapbox article he did in BP recently. Not only does he do jut that -- break barriers, constantly grow as a musician, etc., but just the way he talks about it, his attitude towards other musicians, everything about him just...I dunno, it seems like he's a guy that's pretty happy. I don't know anything about Mike's personal situation, but it seems like his love of music really seems to have infused him and made him a greater person than he was.
    Love creates bonds between people -- we all know this. When these bonds become stronger and deeper, we grow more both as individuals and as a whole of two people (or more, depending on if we're talking about romantic love, a group of friends, a team, a band, etc.) By virtue of this -- that love makes us grow, become everything that one is capable of becoming. To fullfill every potential, to grow into a complete, whole person. Sounds nice, don't it?

    I'm done for now, but I'm sure I'll be back later.
  10. I don't know much about love itself, but to me, there are three kinds of people: those who know they aren't in love, even if they like someone a whole lot; those who think they are in love; and those that are truly in love. Actually, the first and last are really the same type.

    I think it is limiting to just say love is the thing between a couple, but since we are slightly moving in this direction, I think thre are several factors to becoming in love with someone. (I hate the falling in love cliche because of its conotations. sp?) Here are my thoughts:

    -If one is to love, then one must first learn to be satisfied with themselves; if one thinks they need someone else to love them for themselves because they don't love themselves (in a non-selfish, but self-satisfactory kind of way), then they can't love, its impossible.

    -Love is a choice that follows first interest/attraction, second, connection, and third, developing feelings of intense caring, longing, and contentment.

    Right now I am so torn.

    On one hand, I met a girl this year who is like no other girl. SHE IS LIKE NO OTHER GIRL. (I would say this more times, but maybe that would be excessive.) I have no idea, but I think she feels somewhere in the vicinity of the same way that I feel by the way she talks to me a cares about me, and me her. And I don't like her like I have liked other girls. With other girls, the interest has always been slightly to more than slightly physical (Hey, I'm a guy, don't tell me if you're a guy that this isn't the same way most of the time with you). No, by no means do I think of her and see her as not attractive or by what I suspect others to see of her. Granted, she isn't the type of girl who dresses to impress (the guys I mean) or worries about her looks obsessively, but I know she is beautiful.

    On the other hand, with the thing that I am so afraid of, is the fact that I will be graduating high school after this last year, and going to college while she will stay for 2 more years and probably go to a different college. Normally, if it were any other girl that I liked, I might just let it slide a decide not to get involved so I won't have the difficult graduation break-up or weak long distance relationship, but everything about her is what I see in my dream girl across the sea (or something poetic like that). On the surface, we have personality chemistry, but below the surface, its like alchemy--the power of turning ordinary things to gold. Aside from that we are both great musicians, with great jazz ears. She says I'm the better player, but while I may surpass her techniqually, she has an ear that can move her fingers to play-back a melody the first time she hears it mind bogglingly accurately (violinist, jazz violinist).

    Anyway, this is my story of my experieces in this area. I do not mean to derail the thread from ideas, rather than instances.
  11. AuG


    May 22, 2005
    Fort Collins, CO

    Just take it one day at a time. If you KNOW that she's right for you, then go for it. When you two do have a relationship, don't think about what's going to happen 1 or 2 years down the road. Live in the moment. Treat everyday as if it were your last, and don't look back. It's not everyday you come across someone of the opposite sex that you are completely compatible with. Just don't try so hard or get way ahead of yourselves, the best things usually happen when we least expect them to. :)
  12. Aaron Saunders

    Aaron Saunders

    Apr 27, 2002
    I love this quote. Awesome. I've been exactly there. Exactly.

    EXACTLY! YES! I cannot fathom -- I just cannot -- the number of people who jump from relationship to relationship, claiming love the entire time, and throughout it all remain merely dependent on having a significant other because they don't know who they are. You have to be happy with you are to be truly happy with anyone else, and if you can't love yourself because you don't know who YOU are, then how in hell could you ever love anyone else? It just boggles my mind. Does NOT make sense.

    Great stuff, Daniel. Good luck on the jazz violinist, she sounds perfect.
  13. Yea, relationship jumpers piss me off. Their loss.

    Thanks for the complements.
  14. Don't_Fret

    Don't_Fret Justin Schornstein

    Dec 10, 2003
    And now you have a Little Nicky on the way.
  15. Nick man

    Nick man

    Apr 7, 2002
    Tampa Bay
    Love is great, and I'd rather be in it than out of it, but if God said:

    "Love or Music"

    I'd say:

    "Music is my love."

    and then he'd rain fire and brimstone on the woman I love.

    Then I'd rock.
  16. Wrong Robot

    Wrong Robot Guest

    Apr 8, 2002
    If I had a nickel for every teen love story I've watched from infancy to smoldering ruin, I'd have a plenty load of nickels.

    The most interesting thing about it is, with every single one. EVERY SINGLE ONE. The parties involved always feel like "we're the exception" "this is too special to be real" "what's happened to all our friends won't happen to us"...etc.

    And yet, maybe 1% actually survive in the end.

    It's a pity though, because I think the vast majority of these teen 'loves' would be blissful unions if the people involved were more mature and self-confidant. But, it's not till after everything has been destroyed that suddenly you're like "ohhhhh yeaaaa, now I get it"

    Ahh life is fun.
  17. Phe


    May 30, 2005
    Oulu, Finland
    Few lessons that I've learned about love (or affection); Don't talk about splitting up. Especially in the beginning of your relationship. Stupid me.
    Also, long-distance relationships are difficult. Communication is everything. Stupid me.

    10 months apart and splitting up wasn't a difficult thing to do.


    Could women just for once give the signs clearly?

    And Daniel; don't sweat it. It's just life. I recommend trying long-distance even though it might be difficult.
  18. nonsqtr

    nonsqtr The emperor has no clothes!

    Aug 29, 2003
    Burbank CA USA
    Actually, it seems like a little Dicky right now..... :D:D:D

    Let's see, I'd like to make one provocative comment, based on my recent life experience - love can transcend any viewpoint, any relationship, any physical interaction, any temporary "feel-good thing" between two people (or three or more, however you get your rocks off).

    True love, is something deep, permanent (although definitely developmental), and profound.

    This poem, goes pretty much to the heart of the equation, as far as I can tell:

    Because you are my love,
    I know the joy that comes from
    feeling closer to someone
    than I've ever felt before.
    Because you are my love,
    I know the passion of wanting
    to share everything I have,
    everything I am with you
    and only you.
    Because you are my friend,
    I know that I can count on you
    to hold my hand
    through the rough times
    and to be there
    to share the good times, too.
    Because you are my friend,
    I'll always have someone
    to make me smile;
    just when I need it most,
    to encourage me when I'm feeling
    confused or doubtful.
    And I know that I must be
    one of the luckiest people
    in the world
    to have someone like you-
    the perfect love,
    the perfect friend.

    I can't even begin to describe the meaning of this, my g/f Nicky has been holding my hand through an incredible period of madness lately, with medical issues up the ying-yang, and yet, we still have "love", there's a deep mutual respect that transcends anything "temporary" that happens between us.

    I can ask her to go down to the corner and go do something illegal, and she'll take the risk, and put her very life on the line on my behalf.

    I can't possibly imagine a more dedicated "love", a more genuine "caring", a more willing "friend". That kind of thing, in the midst of medical waste, is truly astounding. Love, IMO, transcends the simple physical thing of f*cking someone's brains out, and making them c*me or whatever, it goes way beyond that.

    I used to think I was good at that kind of thing, until suddenly I got into a medical equation that's kicking my b*tt right now. And then, when that kind of thing happens, you'll know who your friends are. Your fly-by-night friends will disappear, ahd you'll be left with a precious few, that truly understand what "love" is.

    Just a perspective..... :)
  19. Gard


    Mar 31, 2000
    WInter Garden, FL
    My take on this topic is a bit cynical I am afraid...some of you will know why...

    These lyrics sum up my feelings pretty succinctly:

    Emotion Detector

    When we lift the covers from our feelings
    We expose our insecure spots
    Trust is just as rare as devotion --
    Forgive us our cynical thoughts
    If we need too much attention --
    Not content with being cool
    We must throw ourselves wide open
    And start acting like a fool
    If we need too much approval
    Then the cuts can seem too cruel

    Right to the heart of the matter
    Right to the beautiful part
    Illusions are painfully shattered
    Right where discovery starts
    In the secret wells of emotion
    Buried deep in our hearts

    It?s true that love can change us
    But never quite enough
    Sometimes we are too tender
    Sometimes we?re too tough
    If we get too much attention
    It gets hard to overrule
    So often fragile power turns
    To scorn and ridicule
    Sometimes our big splashes
    Are just ripples in the pool
    Feelings run high

    - Neil Peart
  20. Gard


    Mar 31, 2000
    WInter Garden, FL
    ....and of course, like Neil, I'm always hopeful...so these words resonate as well:

    Ghost Of A Chance

    Like a million little doorways
    All the choices we made
    All the stages we passed through
    All the roles we played

    For so many different directions
    Our separate paths might have turned
    With every door that we opened
    Every bridge that we burned

    Somehow we find each other
    Through all that masquerade
    Somehow we found each other
    Somehow we have stayed
    In a state of grace

    I don?t believe in destiny
    Or the guiding hand of fate
    I don?t believe in forever
    Or love as a mystical state

    I don?t believe in the stars or the planets
    Or angels watching from above
    But I believe there?s a ghost of a chance
    We can find someone to love
    And make it last

    Like a million little crossroads
    Through the backstreets of youth
    Each time we turn a new corner
    A tiny moment of truth

    So many different connections
    Our separate paths might have made
    With every door that we opened
    Every game we played

    Somehow we find each other
    Through all that masquerade
    Somehow we found each other
    Somehow we have stayed
    In a state of grace