So some of you read an old thread I posted about incredibly drama with a band member's girlfriend that ended up breaking the band up (http://www.talkbass.com/forum/f67/bizznitches-crazy-what-do-882679/index3.html I recommend a high tolerance for crazy before reading). The guitarist and I went to the same high school ( I graduated last year ) and our last show was the battle of the bands there. ) and it got me thinking. I really miss the band. With the exception of the singer in that last link we all got along great. They were my closest friends and we spent more time (40-50 hours a week) on the band and with each other than any other time. The drummer and I went to shows together, built isolation booths for vocals, all kinds of things. I've been thinking a lot on what went wrong. Coming from the drummer, a lot of things happened that are unacceptable. But after almost a year of thinking, I've come to accept that maybe my role in it was a catalyst. Shortly before all this the singer and I were having a lot of fights that resulted in him being voted out of the band. The drummer got caught in the middle and we both sort of coerced him to take a side in fights and give us an opinion instead of opting out. I see that the more he pushed him, the stronger his involvement became. After that, I called him on a lot of the stupid things that were being said and every time they got crazier. I went way farther than I would have and even if I had a point to push some of the things, I pushed them way farther than I should have or he was ready for ( insinuating his girlfriend could be cheating on him or was a pathological liar didn't help ) and I think I'd like to open a line of conversation with him. I have some things to apologize for and I think he does too but I'm thinking about trying to find a way to talk to him (he's got me blocked on Facebook and probably my number). The truth of the matter is I've been thinking on a lot of things lately. I realized that for the first time in a while I'm doing music for money and not for enjoyment. I realize that I've never cared about any musical pursuit as much as that band or never connected with any members on that level. I don't feel like I can let that go without trying to fix my part in it. I've seen crazier things happen than two friends fix their mistakes after a year. But I don't know if I have faith that it could happen. Am I crazy to try?