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manliest injuries

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Floating teetH, Nov 4, 2005.

  1. yes, this is a competition

    i've been shot in the head w/ an arrow. some jackass shot the thing up in the air and it came down directly on top of my head. it was what i think is called a field arrow. i blead, but it basically just bounced off my head.

    all of my stories are sorta' funny. i have a scar on my nose where i got hit by a boomerang (no i didn't throw it, and it wasn't in australia)

    i'm going to start telling people i broke my collar bone having wild sex in a hammock, rather than i got drunk and tripped on the damn thing.

    clearly i am the manliest, but do not be afraid :mad:
  2. popinfresh


    Dec 23, 2004
    Melbourne, Aus
    Well I crashed when BMX dirt riding.. The top of the lip caved in and I fell short. When I stacked the bars of the bike went through the back of my shoulder and came out the front of me. It snapped my colarbone into several peices on the way through as well.
    Apart from big concusion, I also got stitches in my leg (a rock dug in and ripped my leg open) and the two holes from the bars.
  3. I fell off of a half pipe and bruised my coccyx pretty bad. The fact I didn't actually break my butt bone is a wonder to this day. I couldn't sit down right for weeks.

    I had a kidney stone roughly the size of a walnut that had to be surgically removed - a huge scare is still there.

    :cool: :eek: :scowl:
  4. I cut off my thumb.

    Check and mate.
  5. jja412

    jja412 Fine gear enthusiast

    Feb 2, 2004
    St. Louis
    "...Getting your testes bit off by a German Shepherd - that's the way I want to go..."

  6. Bryan R. Tyler

    Bryan R. Tyler TalkBass: Usurping My Practice Time Since 2002 Staff Member Administrator Gold Supporting Member

    May 3, 2002
    I had been doing way too much heavy lifting for prolonged periods of time, so my intestinal wall ripped open and a big strand of intestines fell out into my scrotum.

    It was just a larger-than-average inguinal hernia, but it sounds more dramatic that way ;)
  7. the more i hear about extreme sport related injuries, the more i chuckle at myself for being injured by a hammock.
  8. I had my two front teeth knocked out by a ping-pong paddle at a camp 10 years ago.

    i wasn't even playing. i was a spectator....
  9. Bard2dbone


    Aug 4, 2002
    Arlington TX

    Don't even try to win this one. Search the earlier threads on this subject. I win. Trust me.
  10. Munjibunga

    Munjibunga Total Hyper-Elite Member Gold Supporting Member

    May 6, 2000
    San Diego (when not at Groom Lake)
    Independent Contractor to Bass San Diego
    Pfffft. How about a compound (open) fracture of the femur, severed patellar tendon, mangled medial meniscus, mild concussion, internal injuries (blood in urine), and assorted abrasions, contusions and lacerations? All I remember at the scene was telling someone, "Don't touch me, I think my leg is broken." What made me think that? Well, I couldn't figure out how it was that my right foot was lying right next to my head. I mean it had to be broken, right?

    I lost almost half my blood in the street (they gave me four pints in the hospital). This happened in 1969 when I was in the Marines, so after a week or so in intensive care in a local hospital I ended up at Balboa Navy Hospital. The guy in the bed next to me was a high-school classmate of mine who had been shot up in the 'Nam.

    One afternoon, his family came to visit him, and his younger sister took one look at me and almost fainted. It turns out that she was a candy-striper who was on duty at the hospital the night they brought me in. She said she was the one who had to cut my clothes off me (with the nurses, of course) and that I was the bloodiest person she had ever seen.

    Now, I was in the hospital for five months, but some time in the third month I got some crutches and a little mobility. I heard that another high school friend of mine was at Balboa, so I went up to see him. We were in the high school band together. He had massive brain damage from a head-on car crash right after he got back from 'Nam, where he had been a door gunner in a Jolly Green Giant (CH-46). Only Alanis Morrisette could express irony like that. Anyway, he was in a deep coma, and every day the nurses would tell me that he wasn't going to live through the night. Six weeks later, he came out of the coma, blind and brain damaged. I occasionally talk to him on the phone and go to breakfast with him.

    Another coincidence was that the surgeon who repaired me was the father of another of my high-school classmates. Several years later, I was dating a hippie chick who lived in a big 3-story house with a bunch of other hippies. So I went over to her house and she introduced me to a guy who lived on the third floor with her and her sister. It was the surgeon's son.

    Then, a couple years after that, my first wife (not the hippie chick) was getting her AA in nursing at a local community college, and kept talking about this guy in her psych class that I just had to meet. So one night we went down to his house near the beach to do some hippie-ish things, and she introduces me to her friend. It turned out to be the guy who scheduled doctors appointments at Balboa when I was there, and I knew him really well. He gave us some some banana pudding that, for some obscure reason, was the best banana pudding I have ever eaten, before or since.

    Oh yeah. Did I get shot up in 'Nam? Nope. Never went. A drunken sailor ran a stop sign at high speed, and I T-boned him on my motorcycle. He stopped, looked back, saw me and my brother lying in the street, and hauled ass. Fortunately, there were two guys in the car behind me, so one got out and took care of my brother and me while the other chased the guy all the way home and convinced him to go back. By the time the guy got back, word had gotten around the crowd that I was dead, and it was hit and run. My brother, who has Down Syndrome, was pretty flipped out, but I cushioned his impact, so he had a couple minor abrasions, and spent the night in the hospital for observation.

    Apparently, the crowd got very ugly, and the cops had to keep them away from the guy. I found this out a couple years later when I was visiting the aunt of my best friend who lived about a half a block away from the accident. She said her neighbors told her, "Don't go down there, sombody's dead." My friend became an attorney but died a few years ago of leukemia. His sister was my first girlfriend in high school. She broke my heart by marrying another guy when I went into the Marines.

    Match that. Also, PM me for the rest of the story.
  11. Joey3313


    Nov 28, 2003
    I cut off my arm to see if it would hurt.

    It didn't.

    I'm so friggin manly, it almost hurts.

    But it doesn't hurt because I feel no pain.
  12. I got my thumb crushed in a machine at work last month working with truck tires. That's my manliest injury. well a broken nose from fight is a manly thing too
  13. Munjibunga

    Munjibunga Total Hyper-Elite Member Gold Supporting Member

    May 6, 2000
    San Diego (when not at Groom Lake)
    Independent Contractor to Bass San Diego
    ... poor little baby. C'mere, lemme give it a smooch.
  14. Trevorus


    Oct 18, 2002
    Urbana, IL
    I think you got quite a few more points there, Munji.

    I thinkthe manliest I have is when I broke my arm. I just knew I did, even though I wasn't really paying attention to what happened. I just knew I landed on my arm, so I picked it up with my other arm, and yelled for my dad. When he came to me, I said, "Dad, I think I broke my arm." Then I let my arm go. It folded almost exactly at the halfway point between my wrist and elbow. My dad grabbed my arm, led me to sit next to the couch on the floor, propped my arm up and said, "Dont move." Made a splint really fast with a piece of 1x2 and some wrapping gauze. It was pretty wierd to see an appendage bend like that. Not something I'd like to repeat, but pretty interesting nonetheless
  15. Nick man

    Nick man

    Apr 7, 2002
    Tampa Bay
    Munji's qualifies because there was military stuff and motorcylces involved, but a lot of these dont count because even though the injuries might have been brutal, they arent connected to manly activities.

    I got blisters and a sore back chopping up fallen trees after hurricanes Katrina and Wilma. I dont win, but few things are manlier than lumberjacks.
  16. el_Kabong


    Jul 11, 2005
    Of course it doesn't count coz it didn't happen to me, but what about these guys?
  17. trog


    Nov 8, 2003
    It was my father's birthday. Being the avid Scot that I am, I was playing the chanter (Small practise thingie for the bagpipes), to the tune of Father John MacMillan. I walk into the kitchen, proudly playing away, when I trip and smack the chanter off the table.

    It travels on an upwards path, while the rest of my head is moving towards the floor.

    Cue one big hole in the roof of my mouth, and a lot of blood.

    There's a lot more, but that's the one I was most scared about: the sheer amount of blood coming forth from my mouth had me ever so slightly worried at the time :)
  18. I once broke a toe while having sex, does that count as manly?
  19. 43% burnt

    43% burnt an actor who wants to run the whole show

    May 4, 2004
    Bridgeport, CT
    I got run over by an F-250, while leaving a topless bar and chewing skoal...does that qualify?

    Seriously, I ruptured my spleen skateboarding...almost died. It was crazy.

    I also took a nice chunk out of my my leg with a hatchet while chopping wood.

    And I was in a excersize bicycle accident. Lol. Don't ask. I was young and crazy...I fractured my wrist and had a to get a cast.
  20. 43% burnt

    43% burnt an actor who wants to run the whole show

    May 4, 2004
    Bridgeport, CT
    Ehh...It was only a toe. Maybe if you threw your back out or something. ;)