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Mental Help?

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by bassestkkm, Nov 7, 2013.

  1. Hey guys. I know I can trust you guys because we are the bottom line and a pretty tight community musician wise. This problem is personal and I'd just like some support if you'd give it. Since I was a little kid (3 or 4) its been my dream to be a doctor. Through elementary middle and high school I did really well and now go to university.

    I'm in my third year and have been struggling with anxiety and low confidence since the middle of last year. I was doing fairly well in school and then during the last quarter I just began stressing all the time about doing poorly. I play bass in my free time and have been trying to play music with friends as often as I can because sometimes its the only way I can relax with my heavy work load.

    Lately though I've just been at a worse level. I can't focus on school properly. I'm constantly worried about not doing well and never achieving my dreams of being a doctor. Is this something more than normal fears? Should I see a doctor? I'm not suicidal or anything stupid like that just feel depressed and have the lowest self esteem I know of.

    EDIT: Yes I do exercise regularly. 4 to 5 times a week for at least an hour
  2. Pudge Fish

    Pudge Fish Supporting Member

    Aug 6, 2013
    since you have the bass playing, i'll add exercise... (being sincere now)
    Enjoy your time. Time cannot be ammassed or transferred, traded or negotiated. It can be used to better oneself or environment, and should be shared with people you love.
  3. You know what they say, if you have to ask...

    It seems normal to worry about your most important goal and whether you'll accomplish it though. If you were not worried at all I'd be a bit more concerned, honestly.

    That being said, you could suffer from some form of anxiety, but I'm no expert. It's a more or less common thing.

    As for seeing a doctor? Dunno.
    Meds for that? Dunno.

    For sure try to relax though :D
  4. Thanks for the replied guys. I just freak out sometimes. I'm almost 21 and I feel like I'm carrying the weight of expectation from my family so its tough sometimes. I'm getting over bronchitis so maybe after I get over it I can go for a run and I'll feel okay again.
  5. slobake

    slobake resident ... something Supporting Member

    Is there a professional psychologist on campus? A lot of schools provide that as a free service and he or she would probably be very familiar with your struggles.
    I hope it gets better for you soon.
  6. arbitrary

    arbitrary Supporting Member

    Oct 24, 2005
    Boston, MA
    I would try to find a local therapist to talk to, sounds like you know yourself pretty well, and it could do you some good. pesky anxiety.
  7. Meditation and exercise works well, but I would certainly talk to your doctor (though I doubt meds are required here). Also, do you have a course mentor, an academic that's your go-to support? If so, speak to them too.

    I think in part you could be hitting a stage where you now "have" to work for your grades, it was about the 3rd year of my undergrad where that hit me, that tied with whole bunch of other crap (really bad year) left me having pretty bad panic attacks come exam time.

    Learning to deal with the stress at this stage is important, your chosen profession demands it.
  8. 96tbird

    96tbird PLEASE STAND BY Supporting Member

    First, to H with what your family's expectations are, this is your life.

    Second, see an MD. They can relate and steer you in the right direction, like a psychiatrist: another MD.

    Psychologists; PFFT why would you want to let someone that knows less than you mess with your mind?
  9. While a Psychologist won't (typically) have a medical degree, they will have at least an undergraduate degree (plus often a masters) and doctorate in psychology. That's getting close to at least 10 years working on the workings on the mind...
  10. fisticuffs


    May 3, 2011
    Madison, WI
    See a Behavioral Psychologist. Adult ADD, Depression and Anxiety are all serious and you could be suffering from a little of one or all three. They can all be treated fairly unobtrusively most of the time.
  11. Thanks again guys. (i got a mohawk) how did you deal with the stress if you don't mind my asking? And thanks to everyone else too. I have a biochem midterm today and I think I'll try to make an appointment with the on campus psychologist in the near future. I feel like I don't need meds more as someone to just talk to and figure out why I'm becoming this way. My grandfather who passed away a few years back had bipolar disorder towards the end of his life but I honestly don't think I do anything that rash or thoughtless to have it though it might mean some mental struggles exist in my family. Thanks again for your input its actually helped a lot just talking to you guys.
  12. hrodbert696

    hrodbert696 Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Where are you? In American colleges, at least, there is usually an office for student counseling services, and they'll be very experienced with people in your shoes. The costs are usually already covered by your tuition etc. If not, then see a therapist off-campus. Sometimes just having an outside person to talk through your feelings with will help, and often they'll have exercises you can do to help cope. There is the option of getting medication, which would be prescribed by a doctor (not a therapist). I'd suggest giving counseling a try before turning to pharmacology. If you're religious, pastoral counseling by a minister would help too.

    As far as do-it-yourself self-care, exercise, rest, being organized and prepared for the work that's stressing you out, meditation, taking time for yourself to recharge (going for walks, playing music, reading for fun, whatever), having someone to talk about your feelings with, and a little rational reality check (if you haven't been flunking usually, you're probably not going to mysteriously fail now), can all help.
  13. mongo2


    Feb 17, 2008
    Da Shaw
    Get thee to a counselor, go.
  14. Exercise was one, lifting lots of heavy stuff! Breathing and focusing exercises are good too.

    I think a lot of it just took time and the eventual epiphany that when it came down to it, exams weren't the most important thing in life (three friends of around my age, dying of unrelated illnesses and accidents will do that).

    Though I think you should go and see your course/academic councillor to start with.
  15. Eric66


    Sep 23, 2013
    The Netherlands
    I believe you can perfectly judge yourself and feel when you cannot come out on your own force. Then go to a docter. You are young, and within a few sessions they can put you back on track again. It is not a shame. And they give you understanding where the problem is coming from. That will help you in the future to better cope with it. I wish you all the best.
  16. Wilbyman


    Sep 10, 2003
    Parkersburg, WV
    I don't think going to counseling or a doctor would hurt at all. There definitely isn't any shame in it. I think there are a lot of people...ALOT of people...who should but aren't self-aware enough or brave enough to go. Good luck man. You're going to be fine.
  17. kesslari

    kesslari Groovin' with the Big Dogs Supporting Member

    Dec 21, 2007
    Santa Cruz Mtns, California
    Lark in the Morning Instructional Videos; Audix Microphones
    There is no shame in seeing a doctor, any more than in seeing a mechanic when your car is running badly.
    Good luck.
  18. I agree. Doctors have their place, but keep in mind that now that Big Brother in charge of health care and is also mandating a National network of electronic patient records, any mental health or substance abuse treatment you seek from a "real" doctor will follow you the rest of your life. That may be a problem if you ever need a security clearance, to be bonded, seek a concealed-carry permit, etc.

    You may therefore want keep your search for help on-campus to start with. They probably have people who are very frequently dealing with exactly your circumstances.
  19. Quit filling your expectation box. Take that box full of expectations in your head.... light it on fire... then run over it a few times with a steamroller.

    The only expectation you should have is to make it to class on time, and call your Mum on her birthday.
  20. NWB


    Apr 30, 2008
    Kirkland, WA
    Now that the good advice has been given, here's mine - get a fifth of Jack or my favorite, Crown, and have at it.

    I'm usually not given to good advice.

    I actually think that a comedian might help. Laughter can do a lot for built-up stress.