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Mixed signals!!

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by arvidgunardi, Dec 31, 2002.

  1. Dont you guys hate it when you get mixed signals from a girl!

    I met this girl who I thought could be the one. I got to know her about a month ago and we went out for couple of times. The chemistry was awesome. It's great...during a long drive, she would feed me food etc. Then the other day I told her about how i felt, I told her that I like her, and was wondering if she would take it abit more seriously, and she told me that she like me too but like me as a friend!!

    So I thought we'll take it slower and she agrees. Yesterday I asked her if i could pick her up at work for lunch and she said yes...we went back to my place after that, and I showed her around...and then we went to my room not intending anything like that would happen....I switched on the TV in my room and she watched it for a couple of hours and left after hestating to leave cause she told me she would rather stayed there longer.

    Now in asian culture it's WAY more conservative then in Western culture..even tho we didn't do anything, what happened can be considered a huge progress. So did I pick up the wrong signals or is she giving me mixed signals...or playin hard to get? Its driving me nuts! Cause I really like this girl. What do you guys think??
  2. Give it a little bit more time. Just play your cards right and it should work out cause it sounds like she's interested in you.
  3. Feeding you is definitely a good sign. She is clearly not repulsed by the idea of a possible saliva transfer (albeit an innocent mouth-hand transfer), which is a necessity if the relationship is to become more serious. The friends thing isn't such a positive sign however, but all is not lost. The fact that she enjoys your company means it is still possible for you to trick/deceive/dupe/coerce/compel/hypnotize/convince/fool her into liking you in a "I don't care where your saliva gets transferred" kind of way. The best course of action from this point is to just keep asking her out for dinner, movies etc. Try getting her to drink out of the same glass as you, if she has no problem with that, spit on her leg and see how she reacts. Go get em tiger!
  4. She must be the one! She fed u man. lol

    I need a woman to feed me. lol

    Boy for a 70KG i sure am sounding obese.. lol


  5. Hahaha!! Thanks bro...if you consider to share eating a banana together...(I mean a real banana)...be a possible saliva transfer.....then I'll definitely spit on her leg as you said....maybe even her hair.:D
  6. FretNoMore

    FretNoMore * Cooking with GAS *

    Jan 25, 2002
    The frozen north
    To have a friend is great too you know. Be patient and let it be that way for a while (may be a very long while) and if it develops into something more you will have a great relationship. Force it to move quicker and you might break the friendship. Think about what you really want.

    But I agree, the signals are impossible to interpret most of the time. We guys are supposed to be sensitive but assertive, polite but not dicscriminate, etc etc all at the same time. It was easier in the old days, just club the girl over the head and bring her back to the cave... :)
  7. Nick man

    Nick man

    Apr 7, 2002
    Tampa Bay
    Ive got no idea how it is for you over there, but to me it sounds like she probably just wants to be friends.

    My friends and I have no problem with saliva transfer and we all share drinks and food, some of us even share gum (not me though), so unless its an actual kiss, it wouldnt signal anything to me. We're always laying all over each other, and frequently even have our arms around each other while watching TV or movies, which I never thought of as odd untill my mother asked me about it. I attribute some of it to the fact that she was brought up in a traditional American culture, while I grew up in Miami which really is more of a hispanic culture, but thats not all of it since alot of outsiders see my groups behavior as weird even though some dont.

    Point is, I have no idea what you consider normal friendliness, or what you consider something more.

    I would only consider it a real sign if you see her choosing your company over everyone else's, or if she says it herself. Either way, dont force anything, and DONT SPIT ON HER!;)

  8. Oh man, the mixed signals game...

    I have two girls right now coming to me for help with their guy troubles, telling me that they get mixed signals from these guys.
    As for getting mixed signals from girls, I know the feeling.

    Being another Asian boy who grew up in Asia, albeit with a heavy American influence from frequent holiday visits to California and Colorado, I can say...it depends on the girl, really. If she was born and raised in good ol' Indonesia, then...it sounds like she's interested, but not entirely. If she was brought up outside in a more "open" culture like the US, then it could just be "friend" business with her.

    That whole thing about feeding you while you're driving, though...I dunno. That could be her saying, "I care about you, and I don't want you to starve because you haven't had anything to eat all day," In a friendly sort of way, or it could be saying, "I'm hitting on you right now, you big oaf. Now pull over and kiss me," in...THAT kind of way.

    But really...I dunno. One of the girls who comes to me for help just so happens to be the girl that I would like to...move up one tier with, in terms of our relationship. Honestly, though, I'm cool with just being friends because the way I see it, it's better than her hating my guts, right?

    Just my 2 cents on the matter. For now.
  9. superfreak

    superfreak Unregistered

    Aug 18, 2002
    Clarksville, TN
    Just take it slow...Don't rush anything, I don't see mixed signals, I see a lot of hesitation and some wrestling...er...I mean "Wrasling":D with her feelings. Feeding you was a good sign, then stating she wished she could have stayed longer, is also a good sign. Give it some time, and try not to read into it too much...Good luck

    Dear Abby out.:rolleyes: :D
  10. thrash_jazz


    Jan 11, 2002
    Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
    Artist: JAF Basses, Circle K Strings
    Oh, it is great - until you get sick and tired of being in the Friend Zone of every single woman that you know and being unable to escape from there because it would be "too weird" to date someone you are friends with. :rolleyes:

    Excuse me while I drink my pint of bitter...
  11. Josh Ryan

    Josh Ryan - that dog won't hunt, Monsignor. Supporting Member

    Mar 24, 2001
    Hmm, the leg spit, a good tactic to be sure, but don't you think he needs to up the ante a bit?
  12. Nickman:

    That is exactly what i was confused about...if it was in the US for example, i guess that would somehow be considered not a big deal to feed your friends or to share drinks etc. But this is in Indonesia...and most couples don't even do that privately in their own time....let alone kiss in public.

    Oh well, she spent 3 years in Taiwan...not much difference in culture in comparison. So I hope what I'm guessing is right....and just hope i wouldn't mess it up! :p
  13. I dunno, man. Taiwan's a pretty open place compared to Indonesia. I was actually talking with a couple of my friends earlier...this morning (technically), and they started talking about how most Taiwanese singers/actresses start in the porn business. The path is never different, it goes from porn to acting to singing every time.

    Plus, all the Taiwanese girls I know both here in Hong Kong and in the US are...eh...pretty out there when it comes to guys and the like.
  14. jobu3

    jobu3 Artist formerly known as Big Joe

    Feb 17, 2002
    Mountain Top, PA
    you are in the friendly-guy limbo... she'll want a guy like you when she gets dumped by an a$$hole, and want an a$$hole when she gets a nice sensitive guy like you who actually cares for her...

    it's never good to resort to playing mind games but...
    if you start to distance yourself from her and get a little edgy personality-wise, let her feel a little danger here and there ;) you might win her over... or at the least she'll miss seeing you as much. if she doesn't fall for you as the james dean of bass and asks what happened to the old you; simply tell her that you are madly in love with the idea of you and her being together and it's been driving you out of your mind...

    hope it works out for you ;) :)
  15. tell me about it... :rolleyes:

    you gonna finish that beer? ...
  16. I drank 4 cans of beer this morning....oh well...I was in my friends house....
  17. One way to find out: Slap hand on breast and see what happens.

    Oh wait - her breast, not yours.