Psst... Ready to join TalkBass and start posting, make new friends, sell your gear, and more?  Register your free account in 30 seconds.

Monotheistic Humor

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by MAJOR METAL, Aug 29, 2005.


  1. MAJOR METAL

    MAJOR METAL HARVESTER OF SORROW Staff Member Supporting Member

    How do you make God laugh? make a plan! :D
     
  2. Kelly Coyle

    Kelly Coyle Supporting Member

    Nov 16, 2004
    Mankato, MN
    So, God walks into a bar...
     
  3. Joe Nerve

    Joe Nerve Supporting Member

    Oct 7, 2000
    New York City
    Endorsing artist: Musicman basses, Hipshot products
    ..and he says, "OUCH!"
     
  4. I crack God up. :)
     
  5. Bob Clayton

    Bob Clayton Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Aug 14, 2001
    Deptford, NJ
    :D
     
  6. pigpen02

    pigpen02

    Mar 24, 2002
    Didja know god's an atheist?

    He doesn't believe in a higher power.

    (hope i didn't hear that 'round here, and am just regurgitating....)
     
  7. JMX

    JMX Vorsprung durch Technik

    Sep 4, 2000
    Cologne, Germany
    from Dogma
     
  8. bassman314

    bassman314 I seem to be a verb, an evolutionary process... Gold Supporting Member

    Mar 13, 2005
    Bay Area, CA
    So a bunch of elderly gentleman are out for a nice round of 18. The sun hides behind a nasty cloud, and it begins to rain. The wind picks up, and sure enough, the sky lights up with lightning.

    One of the men shouts "QUICK, HOLD YOUR 2-IRONS UP!!"

    The rest look at him, confused.

    He replies, "Even God can't hit a 2-Iron very well."

    Ba-dump bump....

    (classicl from Mel Brooks)
    "Christians are so poor..." (How poor are they?) "They're so poor they can only afford ONE GOD!"

    Ba-dump bump Crash....

    I'll be here all day! Please... try the Lutefisk
     
  9. bassjigga

    bassjigga

    Aug 6, 2003
    Actually, he would have to be a theist. A theist believes God exists, and God certainly believes he exists. An atheist believes no god exists. :D
     
  10. pigpen02

    pigpen02

    Mar 24, 2002
    Unless he's a deist, and just believes that he set things in motion, and sat back to watch ;)
     
  11. SuperDuck

    SuperDuck

    Sep 26, 2000
    Wisconsin
    The question is, can God create a bar that he cannot go around? ;)
     
  12. Kelly Coyle

    Kelly Coyle Supporting Member

    Nov 16, 2004
    Mankato, MN
    I have some friends who are unable to go around any bar they see.
     
  13. bassjus

    bassjus

    Mar 30, 2004
    Mass
    The real question is, can god make a gay bar?
     
  14. Dan1099

    Dan1099 Dumbing My Process Down

    Aug 7, 2004
    Michigan
    I'm pretty sure god is laughing already. And has been for quite sometime.
     
  15. bassman314

    bassman314 I seem to be a verb, an evolutionary process... Gold Supporting Member

    Mar 13, 2005
    Bay Area, CA
    Need proof that God has a sense of humor?

    God created men and women...

    There's gotta be some laughs watching our interactions..
     
  16. How to make God laugh? Show him Falwell, Robertson, and Jimmy Swaggart.

    Randy
     
  17. bassmonkeee

    bassmonkeee Supporting Member

    Sep 13, 2000
    Decatur, GA
    Actually, that's how you make God cry.