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Murphy's Law in Combat.

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by PeaveyTNT, Nov 19, 2002.


  1. PeaveyTNT

    PeaveyTNT Banned

    Jul 21, 2002
    USA
    1. Friendly fire - isn't.

    2. Recoilless rifles - aren't.

    3. Suppressive fires - won't.

    4. You are not Superman.

    5. A sucking chest wound is Nature's way of telling
    you to slow down.

    6. If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid.

    7. Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on you.

    8. If at first you don't succeed, call in an airstrike.

    9. If you are forward of your position, your artillery will fall short.

    10. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.

    11. Never go to bed with anyone crazier than yourself.

    12. Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.

    13. If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush.

    14. The enemy diversion you're ignoring is their main attack.

    15. The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions:
    when they're ready.
    when you're not.

    16. No OPLAN ever survives initial contact.

    17. There is no such thing as a perfect plan.

    18. Five second fuzes always burn three seconds.

    19. There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole.

    20. A retreating enemy is probably just falling back and regrouping.

    21. The important things are always simple; the simple are always hard.

    22. The easy way is always mined.

    23. Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at.

    24. Don't look conspicuous; it draws fire. For this reason, it is not at all uncommon for aircraft carriers to be known as bomb magnets.

    25. Never draw fire; it irritates everyone around you.

    26. If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in the combat zone.

    27. When you have secured the area, make sure the enemy knows it too.

    28. Incoming fire has the right of way.

    29. No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.

    30. No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat.

    31. If the enemy is within range, so are you.

    32. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.

    33. Things which must be shipped together as a set, aren't.

    34. Things that must work together, can't be
    carried to the field that way.

    35. Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support.

    36. Radar tends to fail at night and in bad weather, and especially during both.

    37. Anything you do can get you killed, including nothing.

    38. Make it too tough for the enemy to get in, and you won't be able to get out.

    39. Tracers work both ways.

    40. If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will get more than your fair share of objectives to take.

    41. When both sides are convinced they're about to lose, they're both right.

    42. Professional soldiers are predictable; the world is full of dangerous amateurs.

    43. Military Intelligence is a contradiction.

    44. Fortify your front; you'll get your rear shot up.

    45. Weather ain't neutral.

    46. If you can't remember, the Claymore is pointed towards you.

    47. Air defense motto: shoot 'em down; sort 'em
    out on the ground.

    48. 'Flies high, it dies; low and slow, it'll go.

    49. The Cavalry doesn't always come to the rescue.

    50. Napalm is an area support weapon.

    51. Mines are equal opportunity weapons.

    52. B-52s are the ultimate close support weapon.

    53. Sniper's motto: reach out and touch someone.

    54. Killing for peace is like screwing for virginity.

    55. The one item you need is always in short supply.

    56. Interchangeable parts aren't.

    57. It's not the one with your name on it; it's the one addressed "to whom it may concern" you've got to think about.

    58. When in doubt, empty your magazine.

    59. The side with the simplest uniforms wins.

    60. Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps.

    61. If the Platoon Sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.

    62. Never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can lie down, never stay awake when you can sleep.

    63. The most dangerous thing in the world is a Second Lieutenant with a map and a compass.

    64. Exceptions prove the rule, and destroy the battle plan.

    65. Everything always works in your HQ, everything always fails in the Colonel's HQ.

    66. The enemy never watches until you make a mistake.

    67. One enemy soldier is never enough, but two is entirely too many.

    68. A clean (and dry) set of BDU's is a magnet for mud and rain.

    69. The worse the weather, the more you are required to be out in it.

    70. Whenever you have plenty of ammo, you never miss. Whenever you are low on ammo, you can't hit the broad side of a barn.

    71. The more a weapon costs, the farther you will have to send it away to be repaired.

    72. The complexity of a weapon is inversely proportional to the IQ of the weapon's operator.

    73. Field experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

    74. No matter which way you have to march, its always uphill.

    75. If enough data is collected, a board of inquiry can prove anything.

    76. For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism. (in boot camp)

    77. Airstrikes always overshoot the target, artillery always falls short.

    78. When reviewing the radio frequencies that you just wrote down, the most important ones are always illegible.

    79. Those who hesitate under fire usually do not end up KIA or WIA.

    80. The tough part about being an officer is that the troops don't know what they want, but they know for certain what they don't want.
     
  2. Noknok

    Noknok Guest

    Nov 3, 2002
    Medford, Oregon USA
  3. Dave Castelo

    Dave Castelo

    Apr 19, 2000
    Mexico
  4. Pacman

    Pacman Layin' Down Time Staff Member Gold Supporting Member

    Apr 1, 2000
    Omaha, Nebraska
    Endorsing Artist: Roscoe Guitars, DR Strings, Aguilar Amplification
    Every single one of those is true.
     
  5. pmkelly

    pmkelly

    Nov 28, 2000
    Kansas City, MO
    :D :D :D


    and then some.... it's easy to giggle at a lot of them from the safety of home!


    P@
     

  6. is that really necessary?
     
  7. Nick Gann

    Nick Gann Talkbass' Tubist in Residence

    Mar 24, 2002
    Silver Spring, MD
    was that? ;)




    I read all of them. My head hurts. All true from what I have heard from my military buddies.
     
  8. Dave Castelo

    Dave Castelo

    Apr 19, 2000
    Mexico
    Hi Jake! :)

    what's up? :cool:
     
  9. Brendan

    Brendan

    Jun 18, 2000
    Austin, TX
    Yes. Dave has a short att

    Oh, What's up long time no

    Cool thread on Murphy and his la

    Of course, I wouldn't know, I'm not in th
     
  10. Dave Castelo

    Dave Castelo

    Apr 19, 2000
    Mexico

    that's a lot of lollin' dud

    see you arou

    :D
     
  11. Brendan

    Brendan

    Jun 18, 2000
    Austin, TX
    Too long, didn't read.
     
  12. Nick Gann

    Nick Gann Talkbass' Tubist in Residence

    Mar 24, 2002
    Silver Spring, MD
    That is probably the first time I have actually laughed out loud from something on the internet!

    Good one :D:D
     
  13. P. Aaron

    P. Aaron Supporting Member

    "When I saw "Peavy TNT" and the word "Combat", I thought I was in the AMPS section and you were P.O'd at you Rig.
     
  14. PeaveyTNT

    PeaveyTNT Banned

    Jul 21, 2002
    USA
    i love my rig... how can u ever get mad at a peavey?
     


  15. bah...i cant think of anything funny to say in response...oh well.

    I wuv you
     
  16. wh
     
  17. Dave Castelo

    Dave Castelo

    Apr 19, 2000
    Mexico
    BAND
     
  18. REPORTED