Exactly what I mean. I am in a dilemna. In April of 2005 I turned 21, bought myself my first car and practice my ass off and gigged as much as I could. Then one month later I bought my first fretless bass with my hard earned money(which I modded and will show once its finished, great body on it now). But I crashed my car, Two months later after getting sick and tired of working in kitchens and earning 10/hr, I joined the Navy. Ever since then I've been woodshedding but not to the extent that I was. Now more so than ever I am woodshedding with so much flowing through me I feel like I'm a hose. I leave for boot camp on Feb. 6, 2006. But I dont want to go. I know I dont have to but if I do I have all these benefits and what not. But I feel like I'll be wasting my talents for something else. I'm a great player and smart cookie so I tried for the music school but nothing. No bass openings for at least 6 months. I wouldn't mind going but I want to pursue music. I know its in me but I'm struggling with being an artist, I paint, draw, write and play. Yes I am a full blown artist that cannot seem to make a living as one. I have two options as to what I want to with my life 1. Go to music school, but I need a scholarship to be defered from the Navy 2. Go to the Navy and 6 years later go to music school. Anybody ever been in this situation. My heart says music but my mind says military. So confused?!?