You've heard them before but here we go:- 1. Q What does a bass player use for contraception A His personality 2. Q Who does a drummer hang out with A Musicians 3 Q Whats the difference between a drummer and a drum machine A You only have to punch the instructions into the drum machine once 4. A couple's marriage is breaking down cos they can't talk to each other any more. They go to as councellor who sits them down and then gets out a double bass and starts playing. The couple ask each other what he's doing and a conversation ensues. Having started talking to each other again, on leaving the couple ask the councellor how he managed to get them talking again and his reply was - "everyone talks during a bass solo"