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muso jokes i aint never heard before

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous [BG]' started by Howard K, Mar 3, 2004.

  1. Howard K

    Howard K

    Feb 14, 2002
    What's the difference between a professional musician and a large pizza?

    A large pizza can feed a family of four.

    What do you call a guitarist who breaks up with his girlfriend?

  2. SuperDuck


    Sep 26, 2000
    How do you get a drummer off of your doorstep?

    Pay for the pizza.
  3. AltIII


    Sep 3, 2002
    Menu At Musicians Bar:
    -The Punk Rocker Collection-
    Jacky Ramone- 2 parts Jack Daniels 1 Part glue
    Molly Flogger- 1 part Guiness 1 part Ruphenol
    The Misfit- 2 part Jager, 1 part brains

    ... yeah I'll finish up later, I gotta meet someone for lunch
  4. Mike Money

    Mike Money In Memoriam

    Mar 18, 2003
    Bakersfield California
    Avatar Speakers Endorsing Hooligan
    What do you do when you see a wounded drummer?

    Laugh and shoot again.
  5. JMX

    JMX Vorsprung durch Technik

    Sep 4, 2000
    Cologne, Germany
    Musician-related, ergo music-related, ergo miscellaneous.
  6. Mojo-Man


    Feb 11, 2003
    What's the difference between a Blues band, and a Moose?
    The Moose has the horns up front, and the ******* in the back.
  7. Petebass


    Dec 22, 2002
    QLD Australia
    I had a trumpet player introduce himself as a "Brasshole" the other day :)
  8. Q: What's the definition of 'perfect pitch?'
    A: When you toss an oboe into the toilet without hitting the rim.
  9. AltIII


    Sep 3, 2002
    More Musician Mixed Drinks:

    The Jazz Head- 2 parts absolut, 1 part peach schnapps, 1 part jack daniels, 1 part champagne, 1/2 part tequila, 1 part zima, 1/2 part everclear, 1 part orange juice, 1 part grapefruit juice, 1 part mandarin juice, a splash of citrus flavor, shake and stir and serve on 2.25 fingers of ice with a little umbrella. And remember it's the alcohol we're not serving that counts.

    The White Stripe- Peppermint Schnapps and some poor quality lite-beer...that's it

    The Yeah Yeah Yeah- water

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