1. Please take 30 seconds to register your free account to remove most ads, post topics, make friends, earn reward points at our store, and more!  
     
    TalkBass.com has been uniting the low end since 1998.  Join us! :)

muso jokes i aint never heard before

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous [BG]' started by Howard K, Mar 3, 2004.


  1. Howard K

    Howard K

    Feb 14, 2002
    UK
    What's the difference between a professional musician and a large pizza?

    A large pizza can feed a family of four.




    What do you call a guitarist who breaks up with his girlfriend?

    Homeless.
     
  2. SuperDuck

    SuperDuck

    Sep 26, 2000
    Wisconsin
    How do you get a drummer off of your doorstep?

    Pay for the pizza.
    ~rimshot~
     
  3. AltIII

    AltIII

    Sep 3, 2002
    Menu At Musicians Bar:
    -The Punk Rocker Collection-
    Jacky Ramone- 2 parts Jack Daniels 1 Part glue
    Molly Flogger- 1 part Guiness 1 part Ruphenol
    The Misfit- 2 part Jager, 1 part brains

    ... yeah I'll finish up later, I gotta meet someone for lunch
     
  4. Mike Money

    Mike Money Banned

    Mar 18, 2003
    Bakersfield California
    Avatar Speakers Endorsing Hooligan
    What do you do when you see a wounded drummer?


    Laugh and shoot again.
     
  5. JMX

    JMX Vorsprung durch Technik

    Sep 4, 2000
    Cologne, Germany
    Musician-related, ergo music-related, ergo miscellaneous.
     
  6. Mojo-Man

    Mojo-Man Supporting Member

    Feb 11, 2003
    :cool:
    What's the difference between a Blues band, and a Moose?
    The Moose has the horns up front, and the ******* in the back.
     
  7. Petebass

    Petebass

    Dec 22, 2002
    QLD Australia
    I had a trumpet player introduce himself as a "Brasshole" the other day :)
     
  8. Q: What's the definition of 'perfect pitch?'
    A: When you toss an oboe into the toilet without hitting the rim.
     
  9. AltIII

    AltIII

    Sep 3, 2002
    More Musician Mixed Drinks:

    The Jazz Head- 2 parts absolut, 1 part peach schnapps, 1 part jack daniels, 1 part champagne, 1/2 part tequila, 1 part zima, 1/2 part everclear, 1 part orange juice, 1 part grapefruit juice, 1 part mandarin juice, a splash of citrus flavor, shake and stir and serve on 2.25 fingers of ice with a little umbrella. And remember it's the alcohol we're not serving that counts.

    The White Stripe- Peppermint Schnapps and some poor quality lite-beer...that's it

    The Yeah Yeah Yeah- water