My bands falling apart because my damn drummer, any suggestions?

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous [BG]' started by melvin, Jul 29, 2001.

  1. melvin

    melvin Guest

    Apr 28, 2001
    We havent played since the last week of May, because the drummer is always skating, or doesnt want to play. We used to play around once a week. I dont know if I should quit or stay and not worry about it. The funny thing is he wants us to play at a party but hes always too busy, even on days hes not doing anything, does he want to play? No. I really dont know what to do, hes my best friend so if I quit we wont be friends, if I stay well never play, untill winter. So I really dont know what to do. Anyone know what I should do?
  2. Turock


    Apr 30, 2000
    If you are serious about your goals then find people that think as you do. The sooner the better.
  3. downward spiral

    downward spiral Guest

    Jul 20, 2001
    you should tell your drummer what you said on here. Your situation sounds somewhat like my best friend: she plays guitar, but she hardly ever plays it and sucks. so now I'm joining another band and she is pissed at me for 'betraying' her... even though we were never officially in a band. so I think talk to your drummer and tell him how serious about it you are or what you expect of him...
  4. My first advice would be don't have your best friends in your band. A group of my friends were in a band together now a few of them are not friends anymore because of it. They wanted me to join about a year ago, i didn't want anything to do with it(plus they were playing punk..blah).

    Why don't you just start a new band as well as the one your in, if you only pratice once a week with the one your in, you should still have time for another, and not ruin any friendships.
  5. sunnking

    sunnking Guest

    Jul 13, 2001
    play without him
  6. downward spiral

    downward spiral Guest

    Jul 20, 2001
    but some of the best bands are and were good friends... after all, if you hit it big, you are with them 24/7 and it helps if you are friends. yeah, problems may arise, but I don't think that should discourage you from being in a band with friends...
  7. TheInsultinator

    TheInsultinator Guest

    Jul 22, 2001
    Do you want your freindship more than the band you're in? Or do you want the band more than the freindship? Sure, granted, you could have both by joining another band, but that could have catastrophic results. (Ok, I'm overstating the results part, but you get my idea) If you decide to be in two bands, you'll eventually have to choose between one of the two. Plus, you'd have to remember twice as many songs, and you'd have to remember which bands they were from. My advice depends on which you value more: The freindship or your band. If you value the band more, then fire his ass, and find another drummer who's more serious. If you want your freindship more, then just talk to him, but still, but careful about it. even talkign to him about things like that could lead to him quitting, or your frenidship getting ruinede anyway.
  8. do you feel about it?
    Are you REALLY upset that he's not willing to play, or are you just mildly annoyed? Perhaps somewhere inbetween?

    Personally, I would say what you do should depend on how you feel about it. If I was in that situation (and I think when school starts up again I might be...) it would all depend on how I feel.
    Like...if I REALLY wanted a band to gig with, then I'd either look for a replacement (not too hard, there's plenty of other drummers & guitarists in my school. :D) or else try & get a new band going.
    Heck, if all goes well then next year I'll be in 3 bands, 2 on bass and 1 on rhythm guitar. :D
  9. Thats just my feeling. Im shure theres people that agree with me and those who don't.
  10. Gabu


    Jan 2, 2001
    Tell your friend that you want to play more often. If he says no, tell him that you are going to find some other people to play with. It's nothing personal. You and he just want different things.
  11. Do you know another person who would be willing to just sit in on the drums when your friend isnt around? Even though its just temporary, its guarenteed that when your drummer sees the band with another drummer he'll realise that he isnt indispensable, and if he is serious about the band he'll clean up his act.
  12. David-Adler

    David-Adler Guest

    Feb 28, 2001
    Bonn, Germany
    All I can tell is the story of my band Twilight. When we started, I knew none of them, as they did. But as we got further and further into it, the whole band thing, and the need to work together as a sort of team got us closer. Now we are friends, not like best friends, but friends, and sometimes do things together (mostly visit some concerts)..

    I think it´s the best way. If you like the guys you´re playing with and the guys like you, nothing could be better.

  13. ColonelZulu

    ColonelZulu Not Impressed By Those Who Flaunt “Authority” Supporting Member

    Apr 14, 2001
    "It's business, Sonny, not personal."

    You are a bass player. By default, you are in high demand. If you want to play more, do like I do...and many others here in more than just one band.

    You'll always get to play.

    If the others in your band are bothered by the drummer's lack of commitment, ask them to talk to him.
  14. Phil Smith

    Phil Smith Mr Sumisu 2 U

    May 30, 2000
    Peoples Republic of Brooklyn
    Creator of: iGigBook Sheet Music Manager
    Join another band, or get another drummer, your band is not the only band around and your drummer isn't the only drummer around. You or anyone else isn't going to change the drummer's mind or attitude, that's something only he can do.
  15. ASR

    ASR Guest

    Apr 2, 2001
    Houston, Texas
    Nothing has been said here that I can say any better about the subject.

    I only have one question. What in the world happened to Gabu? He looks much better in that new picture.
  16. embellisher

    embellisher Holy Ghost filled Bass Player Supporting Member

    I think that he went to Michael Jackson's plastic surgeon.
  17. Lord Bishop

    Lord Bishop Guest

    Jul 16, 2001
    Brooklyn N.Y.
    Basically you need to need to do two things, first is talk to the band and see what their feelings on this situation is, secondly, based upon the decision that was made with the rest of the band confront your drummer together, as a band with the same discussion and see if his decision is the same. If his decision is to try to make the band work, tell him he’s not living up to it, if it’s other than that, tell him you’re gonna start looking for another drummer and there’s no hard feelings, but this must be done as a band or else it will become personal.
  18. Gabu


    Jan 2, 2001
    And that jerkoff still can't get it right. I mean seriously, how much do I look like a Jackson? You would think for the $5 I paid at least he could have done something with my lack of soul on the dance floor. :(
  19. jazzbo

    jazzbo Guest

    Aug 25, 2000
    San Francisco, CA
    Kill him.
  20. Gabu


    Jan 2, 2001
    It's a long story... but I will try to give you the shortened version. Before we begin - You have had your coffee, right? Okay, good. You don't need to use the restroom or anything? No? Okay, good. I just say that because when I begin a long story I hate to be inturupted. Yeah, it's a childhood thing. But in any case - Oh, by the way, Thanks for the compliment. *winks* Now where we, dadgum it. This is why I don't like to be inturupted. Okay, do ya think you can hold it down this time. I mean, sheesh you were the one that asked. Do you really want to know. Hold on. I gotta ask this. I mean, do you REALLY want to know. Okay. So you will be quiet this time right? Okay. *peer* *blink* *blink* Yep, that's quiet alright. Okay, now what happened was. Oops... hold on. Gawwd, I hate - it - when - you - get - a - itch - on - your - back - that - you - just - can't - quite - reach... Oh, there it goes... ah, whew. Okay, now let's see... Oh, yes. I remember now. The reason I changed to a picture of the wifey is:

    She's a cutey. :)