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My band's singer is whipped

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by teprodic, Apr 6, 2004.

  1. I need some advice on what I should do. Well the singer of my metal band is really sprung. No offense to anyone but well we're all juniors (high school) in the band and well he's been with his girlfriend since 7th grade. Well certain things happen around practice. When we practice she's always calling my drummers cell phone so that she could get in contact with our singer. Sometimes while the "musicians" work on music he's talking to his girlfriend on the phone instead of giving us suggestions on some of the songs. And well last week on March 28th was our first show. We ended up getting the 5th and last slot since we turned in our money that we made selling tickets pretty late. On the show he was getting on my case about how I should start complaining to the guy that gave us the show because it was getting close to 10:30 and we had not played yet. The problem is that his girlfriend couldn't stay passed 11 pm so he told all of us that if the show goes past 11:00 and we still dont go up that he was gonna cancel the show for us just because his girlfriend wouldn't be able to stick around to watch us play. So what really got me mad is that he got on my case when I had no problem what time we went up and if he would of canceled the show there would of been a lot of dissapointed people that wasted 6 dollars to support our band to watch us play and we would of ruined a pefectly good show that we practiced very hard to make it come out as good as possible.

    This past week at school we had this argument because we were messing around with eachother and he brought up my girlfriend and it got me mad.

    I told the guys from the band that I might leave the band because I couldn't stand our singer anymore. The rest of the guys don't want me to leave well our singer doesn't either but I do because our singer is very spoiled and wants everything his way. And its not as easy as kicking him out either because he's actually very good at singing and its hard to find a good metal vocalist around this area. BUt well I really need some advice on wether I should stay in the band or get out. I really enjoy making music and I'm very proud of what we have so far and I co founded the band but at the same time I'm not sure if I can really stay in the band when I don't get along with our singer anymore. I really need some advice on what I should do. Any suggestions will be very helpful. Thanks.
  2. Munjibunga

    Munjibunga Total Hyper-Elite Member Gold Supporting Member

    May 6, 2000
    San Diego (when not at Groom Lake)
    Independent Contractor to Bass San Diego
    Ain't puberty great?
  3. fishy

    fishy Guest

    Dec 13, 2002
    courtice, Ontario
    thats what my band is like, except with the singers mom!
  4. Perfect-Tommy


    Mar 28, 2004
    My advice? Learn to sing and play at the same time.... :D
  5. FunkySpoo

    FunkySpoo Supporting Member

    Feb 6, 2002
    One of you guys is dating the singers Mom?

    Is she hot? :hyper:
  6. Sundogue


    Apr 26, 2001
    Wausau, WI
    All of you in the band should have a meeting and invite your girlfriends for it as well.

    Explain the situation and try to work out a compromise and if one cannot be reached inform them that you will be leaving the band.

    Communication with all parties involved is the only way to deal with it...not just getting mad and having talks with one member only (even if your gripe is with one member only).

    Talk about it in a non-confrontational way. Perhaps his girlfriend is not even aware how her actions are affecting your singer and the band.

    If you can't all discuss this rationally, the band will fall apart eventually anyway. Besides, this being such a young band, it will fall apart, even if you do work this out. As you get older, each member's priorities will change and so the band will break up or change dramatically. That's a given.
  7. Matthew Bryson

    Matthew Bryson Guest

    Jul 30, 2001
  8. Josh Ryan

    Josh Ryan - that dog won't hunt, Monsignor. Supporting Member

    Mar 24, 2001
  9. Brendan

    Brendan Supporting Member

    Jun 18, 2000
    Austin, TX
  10. Eric Moesle

    Eric Moesle Supporting Member

    Sep 21, 2001
    Columbus OH
    Ahhh, to be a kid again.

    You know, coming from a guy who's 36, married, has three kids, and still gigs three nights a week, you should just live your lives, get into your arguments, join and quit many bands, have a few fights, burn through several girlfriends, destroy a few pieces of equipment, and in so doing, earn your wings. That's the stuff musicians are made of, baby . . .
  11. Josh Ryan

    Josh Ryan - that dog won't hunt, Monsignor. Supporting Member

    Mar 24, 2001
    :eek: :eek:
  12. Josh Ryan

    Josh Ryan - that dog won't hunt, Monsignor. Supporting Member

    Mar 24, 2001
    Good to know I'm on the right path. Although, I have to say my wife is amazingly supportive of my music.
  13. Schwinn


    Dec 4, 2002
    Sarasota, FL
    This is the best approach, but you may have to quit if things don't work out. Be prepared. Luckily another band will come along...bands are like girls.
  14. Munjibunga

    Munjibunga Total Hyper-Elite Member Gold Supporting Member

    May 6, 2000
    San Diego (when not at Groom Lake)
    Independent Contractor to Bass San Diego
    I'd say you boys have been spending too much time in the newsgroups.
  15. thrash_jazz


    Jan 11, 2002
    Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
    Artist: JAF Basses, Circle K Strings
    Significant others have no place in deciding a band's affairs unless they are the one who gave you the record deal.

    Your singer sounds very irresponsible but in the end, it is VERY difficult to make both a band and a high-maintenance relationship work, and that's what this sounds like.

    I'd leave. Unfortunately, the little missus will probably tear the band apart no matter what happens. Anyway, there are plenty of other times and places to "earn your wings" as Eric put it so well :D
  16. thrash_jazz


    Jan 11, 2002
    Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
    Artist: JAF Basses, Circle K Strings
    Respectfully, I disagree.

    Girlfriends have no place at a band meeting unless they play in the band. That only leads them to believe that they have a say in things, and that can only lead to disaster.

    Likewise, a band has no say in the members' relationships either. It's up to each member to decide how to manage his or her time, and no one else.

    I've always thought that being in a band is like being in a relationship - and I guess this is just one example... you have to juggle the two of them ;)
  17. Mike Money

    Mike Money In Memoriam

    Mar 18, 2003
    Bakersfield California
    Avatar Speakers Endorsing Hooligan
    What a wuss...

    I'll admit, I'm partially-whipped... Like, she will ask "What are you doing this weekend?" I'll say "Nothing planned at the moment." then she will say "Good, you are coming with me to _______."

    Stuff like that... there is other stuff, probably. I just can't think of it. And we both have eachother whipped to an extent, so it balances out.

    But if my band hadn't played yet, and she had to be home in half an hour, it would be *hug/kiss* "I'll call you tommorow." and I would wait for my band's turn to play.

    There is nothing wrong with being a little bit whipped, but when it gets to the point that she is always calling you, always interfering with things when you are obviously busy, that is bull. Your singer is a total wuss. He needs to return his balls immediately.
  18. DirtDog


    Jun 7, 2002
    The Deep North
    ...just look at what happened to Spinal Tap... :bassist:

  19. Sundogue


    Apr 26, 2001
    Wausau, WI

    Despite the fantasy world some seem to live in...everything about a musician's life have a place in the band. They are a part of who they are. It's how you deal with those things that matter. Not taking your girlfriend's/wife's opinion into consideration will only make you a weaker person. By that I mean that one has a girlfriend/wife for a very good reason...and it is an important one. Success, in any endeavor, and having no one close to you to share it with...is an empty proposition.

    I'm not saying that a girlfriend or wife has a vote in how the band operates...but anyone who has a girlfriend/wife and is in a band, should be mindful and respectful of them and how the band fits into their lives.

    This is especially important for those that are married. To only put the band's needs first is a disaster waiting to happen. And anyone who does that should not be married in the first place. There are professional and personal relationships and anyone who thinks that they do not overlap is simply delusional...or extremely lonely.
  20. thrash_jazz


    Jan 11, 2002
    Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
    Artist: JAF Basses, Circle K Strings
    I think you may have missed my point. This is exactly what I was saying... :confused:

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