My evil practical joke

Discussion in 'Bass Humor [DB]' started by arnoldschnitzer, Jan 28, 2004.

  1. arnoldschnitzer

    arnoldschnitzer AES Fine Instruments

    Feb 16, 2002
    Brewster, NY, USA
    I had a wrecked bass in the garage, totally unworthy of repair. I asked my new assistant at that time to help me move a few things around. We wrenched the bass free and I asked him to walk ahead and get the door open. As he turned around to let me in, I "tripped", dropped the bass, then landed on it with my knees. The splintering could not have been better with C-4! He gasped for breath, let out a little scream, then noticed me doubled over in hysterical laughter. Then he finally caught on; he barely spoke to me for days. Wish I had a video...
  2. You truly are an evil wizard, Arnold.

    Speaking of practical jokes, I had the pleasure of taking lessons from Harry Sturm, who was 2nd chair cello in the CSO under Fritz Reiner, and also a cellist with the NBC studio orch. in Chicago. The practical joking amongst those guys was apparently quite brutal and merciless.

    He told me the one about the bassist (might have been Johnny Frigo??)in the NBC orch who was apparently a bit of a hypochondriac. He began to notice that he was having trouble carrying his bass from its rack to his position at the microphone. His bandmates saw that he was struggling too, and they naturally expressed great concern: "Having trouble, Johnny?" "Gee, you look a little tired today, Johnny. Are you feeling okay?" "Have you had a checkup lately?" The doctor gave him a clean bill, but that damn bass just seemed to grow heavier every day, and Johnny grew more and more worried.

    What Johnny's "concerned" friends never told him was that they were pouring a cup full of sand in the bass's F-hole every day before he arrived for work.

  3. ....but what we really want to know is-did the bass sound better with the sand?:D
  4. I'd think the sand would almost certainly throw off the a0- b0 balance, rendering the instrument completely unplayable. :smug:
  5. Ike Harris

    Ike Harris

    May 16, 2001
    Nashville TN
    I did practically the same thing to my wife a while back. A friend brought over a dead bass to see if I would consider using it to "learn some repair work" on. The only thing in one piece was the back. After he left it, my wife came home from work. I led her into my shop and told her I had a "slight" accident with my 1790 German bass. She turned several shades paler and was motionless for a few seconds, then I thought I'd better come clean and tell the truth. Seems like I've been cooking dinner a lot more often since then.