My first tip!

So, last night got a little weird. It started with a bad date, and ended with my first real performance as a musician.

Some context... My roommate is on what I guess you could call something of a rebound. She's been going on a lot of first dates, and not many seconds, and for want of a safety net she's commissioned me to spy on most of these first meetings (in case she gets kidnapped or something) or occasionally intervene when things start to get ugly ("Oh my god, Chicory? Is that you? I haven't seen you since college! What in the world are you doing back in town?").

Last night was definitely a case of the latter, and I was called into 'operation: long lost friend' from the park bench I'd been killing time on a few blocks from the pub where the worst date ever was taking place. I arrived with my bass, looper, and mini-amp in tow, because I wasn't about to sit on a bench doing nothing on a friday night, and as it turned out, there was a live musician finishing up his set.

Once we'd scraped off the offending gentleman (a cartoonishly self-absorbed white-collar manchild who left us with the tab when it became apparent he wouldn't be taking her home that night), people started paying attention to the comically large gig bag accompanying me, and folks began to comment on whether I'd be performing next. I assured them I was not, but the night's talent begged to differ, and before I could say "I need an adult," me and my practice rig were escorted to the stage and plugged into the PA.

Nerves immediately crippled me, and I proceeded to forget the words, chords, and rhythm to my own song. Roomie came to my rescue with a request for a duet, and we led an astonishingly supportive midnight crowd in our rendition of Ben E. King's "Stand By Me."

Then an old lady gave me a dollar.

It was the first dollar I've made as a musician in my entire life.

This was without question the worst show I ever expect to deliver in my life, but as far as first performances go I can't bring myself to feel bad. The crowd was kind, the night was memorable, and I didn't die.

Besides, if the next one's on purpose, I have a feeling it'll go a little better.

Think I'm gonna frame that dollar.

As always, thanks for listening, TB.

--^@

 

You are correct, it is "she."
Normally it's too common and benign a misconception to bother correcting, but I guess it kind of changes the color of the story.

Most have gone wellish to dullish so far (this was the first *really really* bad one), and we've done the dramatic stranger-from-the-other-end-of-the-bar reveal game more than once. Mankind is indeed the most dangerous game, but the good ones take it in good humor.

And... well, bass and vocals *sort of*. There's a looper and usually some toys involved, so I'm sort of my own band.

That said, it remains a true statement:
My balls are enormous.

I mean, no, but... yes to the second part?



This... uh... this is pretty much it. I went up with just my bass and these loyal soldiers.

The B1on is loaded with a bunch of custom patches to accentuate my solo Stingray stylings, and 'upgraded' with Sugru button extensions (roomie's handiwork) for look-ma-no-hands operation. It's almost gigworthy as a convenience looper, but lacks an undo button, so taking it onstage is like performing on a chair with a noose around your neck. Hell of a park bench companion, though.

Meanwhile, those of a certain age will notice my drummer is in fact a GameBoy Advance SP. The flash cart is loaded with two ROMs. On one side is LSDj, a chiptune music sequencer that I mainly use as a drum machine. The other side is Mega Man Xtreme, because, c'mon, it's still a GameBoy, and not everything is about music.

All of that went straight into the other musician's PA setup, where he proceeded to balance me based on a guitarist's impression of how a bassist should be balanced.

It was not pretty.

--^@