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My friend is a conspiracy nut and it's driving me to despair.

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Downunderwonder, Apr 3, 2020.


  1. Without going into detail please can I get some advice on dealing with my dear friend? He is completely taken in by all the latest www conspiracies to the point a certain ''authority'' has rolled them all into one for him and he is trying to convert me for my own good.

    It is sad. He isn't all that bright but he isn't stupid either. I used to be able to keep up with rebuttals of all the dodgy links he would text me but it's too much now. It's a unified theory of doom!

    Again. No actual theories please or thread will get deep sixed in a NY minunte. Thankyou. Please only come in with angles that involve me helping my friend.

    Cutting him off is not an option.
     
    roccobass and 48thStreetCustom like this.
  2. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Apr 12, 2001
    Olympia, WA
    Perhaps helping him to identify what his actual fears and threats are compared to those perceived.
    I wouldn't bother trying to refute any of his 'wild talk', but rather dealing with the realities of what is good/fine/OK/right in his world.

    -Mike
     
  3. 48thStreetCustom

    48thStreetCustom

    Nov 30, 2005
    Colorado
    After I saw what conspiracy theorists did to the Sandy Hook families, I have zero tolerance for them. My advice is to straight up call him a conspiracy theorist and tell him you don't want to hear it.

    Side note, I read about a study awhile back where researchers told conspiracy theorists several conspiracy theories. Some, they were told, were believed by like 3% of the population. Some, they were told, were believed by like 80% of the population. The CPs were far less likely to believe the popular ones. So the study suggests that CPs thrive on you disagreeing with them.
     
  4. never-enough

    never-enough

    Oct 27, 2019
    Just agree to disagree on those topics.

    the same way that he is not going to be able to change your mind, you will be unable to change his.

    neither of you two KNOW that you are right. You each choose to believe what you want.

    focus on the things you have in common.

    It doesn’t need to be all that difficult.
     
  5. that's the problem. Perception is 110% of his reality. The excess 10% is him sending me messages and calling me up if I don't respond. If I could get into detail here the relevant representatives here would join in and bye bye thread.

    He really didn't like it when I told him a tinfoil hat would actually work on that.
     
  6. I tried the old agree to disagree but it barely slowed him down.
     
  7. LBS-bass

    LBS-bass Supporting Member

    I've zero tolerance for this and I don't have people like this in my real life. There used to be a widespread understanding that these people were at the fringes and could be dismissed as such, but they are a growing threat and I refuse to enable that in any way. Sorry I can't be more helpful :(
     
  8. Michedelic

    Michedelic MId-Century Modern

    Come up with a better one, one so insane that he’ll not want to be near you.
     
  9. foal30

    foal30

    Dec 3, 2007
    New Zealand
    Phew, that's a tough one and I feel sorry for you that you are losing a friend or a part of your relationship with that friend.

    Is he happy? Does the CT world give him a purpose or a sense of accomplishment/ success?

    I'm angling that if you can find parts of his World Ideolgy not personally offensive or even a danger to the rest of Society have some talks around those.

    Good luck. I no it's no consolation but NZ has very high numbers of Cultists and CT's ...which is odd given the 'laid back' nature the Nation is known for
     
    Hachimitsu Pie likes this.
  10. Gorn

    Gorn

    Dec 15, 2011
    Queens, NY
    "I love you man but I can't go down this road with you. Don't do anything crazy. Don't hurt anyone else or yourself."

    It's not a cut off. It's not abandonment. He's a grown man responsible for his own choices. If he's being completely irrational than any argument you make is falling on deaf ears. Argue with him and you'll become one of "them."
     
  11. Lagado

    Lagado

    Jan 6, 2020
    Stop the madness
    "Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored."

    Aldous Huxley.

    Need the facts. What does he believe and why do you disbelieve it. Many suffer from Motivated Reasoning in all manner of things:

    "Motivated reasoning is confirmation bias taken to the next level. Motivated reasoning leads people to confirm what they already believe, while ignoring contrary data. But it also drives people to develop elaborate rationalizations to justify holding beliefs that logic and evidence have shown to be wrong. Motivated reasoning responds defensively to contrary evidence, actively discrediting such evidence or its source without logical or evidentiary justification. Clearly, motivated reasoning is emotion driven. It seems to be assumed by social scientists that motivated reasoning is driven by a desire to avoid cognitive dissonance. Self-delusion, in other words, feels good, and that's what motivates people to vehemently defend obvious falsehoods."

    If that's the case, I wish you all the best...
     
    DaveDeVille, Bass Viking and ajkula66 like this.
  12. foal30

    foal30

    Dec 3, 2007
    New Zealand
    Has this thread been rewritten??
    Or is that a Conspiracy?
     
    LiquidMidnight and Winslow like this.
  13. LBS-bass

    LBS-bass Supporting Member

    We have a friend like this. He was a friend of my husband's for many years. He's slowly alienated everyone in his orbit, and he just doesn't get it. The more alienated he becomes, the more angry he is at what he perceives as the flaws in the way most of us see things. The final straw came for us when he insulted a guest at one of our backyard parties. The things he said to her were so heinous I put my foot down and told my husband I never wanted to see him here again.

    Since then he's been cut off by just about everyone else in that little circle of friends. I feel sad for him but he's beyond reach, and that has entirely been his choice. You can't reach them. You just can't.
     
  14. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Apr 12, 2001
    Olympia, WA
    Then I think you are better off cutting of your association.
    That's probably not what you want to read, but don't compromise your sanity trying to fix/save/help someone who doesn't want it.

    -Mike
     
    Winslow, SactoBass, T_Bone_TL and 3 others like this.
  15. OldDog52

    OldDog52 Gold Supporting Member

    Jan 1, 2011
    Pacific Northwest
    "I don't want to lose you as a friend. But I'm not going to click on, read, listen to, or watch any of this. So no offense, but please just stop sharing it with me."
     
    davidprice, Thumper, garp and 5 others like this.
  16. Gorn

    Gorn

    Dec 15, 2011
    Queens, NY
    But it is. It's not easy but sometimes it's necessary. I lost a lot of friends when I stopped being a degenerate junkie. Best friends. Since preschool. You're not responsible for him. He's not your child. It'd be different if he was your kid. He's not.
     
  17. Last night I posted a thread. I mentioned a rough outline of the breadth of the entanglement of various well known CT's for context of what I am now being bombarded with, silly for me not realising it would draw out CTism. It did not last the night.

    One CT at a time I could handle but when it's all threaded together I just can't deal.
     
    Winslow, MJ5150, foal30 and 2 others like this.
  18. Jeff Scott

    Jeff Scott Rickenbacker guru..........

    Apr 11, 2006
    He's right, of course. Gene Simmons said so, too. :smug:
     
    squarepeg likes this.
  19. bluesblaster

    bluesblaster

    Jan 2, 2008
    Conspiracy theories are like that game when you have a whole line of people and you tell the first person something and then they turn to the person next to them and repeat it, so on and so on. When you get to the last person and ask them to tell what they've been told its nothing at all like the original statement that started it.....I think there is a name for this but I forget at the moment.

    Without facts and verifiable evidence there is only a lie to be believed by those who choose to do so.
     
    SactoBass and LBS-bass like this.
  20. Boogiepop

    Boogiepop Refugee Supporting Member

    Dec 22, 2019
    Colorado
    I suppose you could ask him why it's so important that you believe exactly as he does in order to validate his worldview. Perhaps he's not as sure of his beliefs as he thinks he is if he feels compelled to remove all contradictory viewpoints from his environment.

    B.
     
    kohanmike and SactoBass like this.

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