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my guitarist wants to pull a d*ck move...

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by pushbuttonfour, Feb 17, 2013.

  1. pushbuttonfour


    Dec 20, 2012
    OK, so long story short, my drummer sucks in both talent and commitment. We are looking for a new one, but we don't want to ditch this one just yet, because there is a very limited number of drummers who like our genre in our area, and we figure "a bird in the hand..." well you know the saying :smug:

    Anyway, we want to know what our options are, but without firing our current drummer. So, my guitarist had the idea to temporarily unfriend our current drummer on facebook and post a status asking who plays drums and wants to be in a band. I realize this would be effective, but also that it would be backstabbing and untrustworthy. Should I still allow my guitarist to go through with it, or is it too much of a d*ck move?
  2. truecanadian04


    May 4, 2011
    Be honest. Tell your drummer to get his **** together because your already look for a replacement.
  3. Jazz Ad

    Jazz Ad Mi la ré sol Supporting Member

    Exactly. Is it so difficult to simply say things?
  4. Stop playing like 12-year-olds on Facebook. (Mommy Mommy, Tommy unfriended me!!!) Deal with this face to face, straight up.

    Talk with the drummer - tell him what you need. If he is willing to deliver it, fine. If not, you'll find another drummer.
  5. And then a mutual friend replies and it shows up in your drummer's feed because you have so many connections as far as Facebook can tell. Or somebody just asks him what's up.

    Unfriending won't save this from getting noticed.
  6. jungleheat

    jungleheat Banned

    Jun 19, 2011
    A better option if you want to go that route would be to just block the drummer from that post, that way he won't see it.
  7. hags2k


    Jan 27, 2010
    Depends. Is the guy a friend, an equal partner, or an "employee" (i.e. a clear chain of command in a business/professional relationship)? In the case of the first two, the suggested course of action is probably at least distasteful and if the band is a business, possibly unethical. In the last case, though, I think it would be perfectly acceptable - managers will let people go while looking for or having found a replacement all the time, and they dont have to tell the employee.

    So, you just have to decide what kind of relationship you have with this guy and go from there. This is just my opinion.
  8. mellowinman

    mellowinman Free Man

    Oct 19, 2011
    Back in my day, we didn't have facebook. When you wanted to unfriend somebody, you had to look them square in the eye, and challenge them to a wrestling match. Three falls was the rule, and one of you would usually have an onion tied to your belt.

    So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. "Give me five bees for a quarter," you'd say.

    Now where were we? Oh yeah: the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones...
  9. SactoBass

    SactoBass A retired civil engineer who likes all-tube amps! Supporting Member

  10. pushbuttonfour


    Dec 20, 2012
    thanks for al the feedback, guys. yeah I thought there would be a chance for him to find out, even if we blocked it. And the whole thing did just seem to unethical to me. The only problem is, there are amazingly few punk drummers of our age who live near us, and I feel like even talking to him about getting his butt in gear will turn him off from us, and the last thing we want is for him to quit and leave us with no drummer.

    And his relationship to us is "almost-friend." He would never have any relationship to us if it wasn't for the band, but he is a little more than just an employee. Yeah it's looking like this fb thing would just cause too many internal and external problems
  11. Mushroo

    Mushroo Supporting Member

    Apr 2, 2007
    Massachusetts, USA
    You never know; one of my old bands had a drummer quit for (unrelated to the band) personal reasons. On the day he showed up to rehearsal to tell us he was quitting (in person, to our faces, like a man), he brought a friend with him and said, "This is your new drummer. I've know him 10 years." Sure enough, the new drummer was great, and there were no hard feelings from anyone.

    Moral of the story: Be a grown-up, good things will happen!
  12. RustyAxe


    Jul 8, 2008
    Uh ... do your guitarist and drummer have mutual friends on Facebook? I'm guessin' they probably do, and there ain't no way your drummer won't find out. Besides, it's a crappy, unprofessional way to deal with people. 99% of the issues presented in this forum are from immature people who don't have a pair and can't communicate effectively with others.
  13. Volpe25


    May 5, 2012
    I nearly spat my drink all over my keyboard at that reference :D
  14. steamthief


    Jan 25, 2006
    Mentone Beach
    THIS is a dick move. The Facebook drama just shows the dick has no balls attached.

    And THIS is talkbass gold!
  15. brotherbassj


    Sep 20, 2008
    Jim Dunlop USA, King Kong Cases, Golden Eagle Energy Drink
    Just cut your drummer loose with integrity..........tell him to his face that it's just not working out and go on the hunt for a new drummer, set backs.......aren't always set backs! Be men about it.........face to face. One day you could be in his spot.......
  16. knumbskull


    Jul 28, 2007
    Well played :D
  17. Nashrakh


    Aug 16, 2008
    Hamburg, Germany
    Unless gigging is a concern, my experience is that no drummer IS actually better than a bad one.

    You could for example program drum tracks if you find yourself in a tight spot, and let them run over the PA if you have one. Really, even a basic one will do. For example, a guitarist friend of mine did some in Protools and they sound workable even though none of us know any intricacies of playing drums.

    Of course a live drummer would be better (and of course that's our ultimate goal) but what does one do if your band sounds better with a drum track than a drummer who is all over the place except the spot where he needs to be? :rollno:
  18. Bassist4Eris

    Bassist4Eris Frat-Pack Sympathizer

    Wow, a TB Band Management thread that's actually NOT filled with a bunch of "advice" directing the OP to be passive-aggressive. There's even the suggestion that some communication might be in order. Color me impressed. :)
  19. Mystic Michael

    Mystic Michael Hip No Ties

    Apr 1, 2004
    New York, NY
    I LOL'ed.

    I performed the ritual purification rite of dousing myself in a vat of fermented llama yogurt, while chanting the lyrics of the Gilligan's Island theme song.

    Then I LOL'ed again...

  20. NickTej22


    Feb 17, 2013
    Largo FL
    Sometimes things just happen in bands, if he's holding your band back he's no good to you there. Cut him, and cut your losses, for the time being. Find yourself a drummer and move forward, if it means taking time from performing live. It'll be worth it in the end.

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