My lengthy bass haiku

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by TheFantod, Mar 18, 2010.

  1. TheFantod

    TheFantod #5 of the Pentaverate. Took Col. Sanders' spot.

    Aug 7, 2009
    Eastern N.C.
    This was originally in the bass haiku thread, but I decided it's better here:

    Not pros or cons, but just some poetry about my early years....

    Peavey T-40

    My very first bass
    Made me think that all basses
    Were made that heavy

    Bought it with money
    Received at Christmas from my
    Crazy Aunt Duckie

    I had no idea
    What all the knobs were there for
    or how they functioned

    Previous owner
    Used to stick his cigarette
    Against the headstock

    Created a scorch
    Mark between the G and D
    Tuning pegs - redneck!

    The hardshell case smelled
    Like old cigarettes and booze
    Took weeks to air out

    First played with a pick
    Until my jazz band teacher
    Told me I coudn't

    Wore lots of white tape
    On my fingertips that year
    Looked like nail polish

    Technique was awful
    Until I got to college
    And took "proper" lessons

    Famous professor.
    Everyone loved him but me.
    I couldn't stand him.

    He was like a huge
    Bill Cosby, arrogant. We
    often disagreed.

    I played in punk bands
    The T-forty was good for
    Beating drunk morons

    The body was able
    To break the nose of frat-boys
    And still stay in tune

    That bass went with me
    All over the country. It
    never let me down

    Last year I purchased
    The bass I dreamed of owning
    For many long years

    Musicman Stingray
    Is now my main bass of choice
    To lay down the grooves

    But the T-Forty
    Has its place in my music
    room, and in my heart

    Now when I hear guys
    Whine about heavy basses
    It makes me chortle

    Playing that old bass
    Will build up the trap muscles
    In your left shoulder

    After twenty years
    of playing that monster bass
    All others are light
  2. TheDarkReaver

    TheDarkReaver Inactive

    Mar 20, 2006
    Lincolnshire, UK
    So it's not actually a haiku then?
  3. RFord04


    Apr 8, 2009
    Flint, Michigan
    lol, its a series of haikus...
  4. TheDarkReaver

    TheDarkReaver Inactive

    Mar 20, 2006
    Lincolnshire, UK
    This poem is to the haiku is like what a battle mace is to a sculptors chisel.

    It is a nice summation of his formative bass years though.
  5. He broke a few rules, I bet he plays jazz
  6. ^jazz fusion...
  7. I liked it :D

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