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My Love Affair With Ugly Basses ...

Discussion in 'Basses [BG]' started by paddydaddyo, Mar 16, 2009.

  1. God help me ... I am addicted to "ugly" '70s basses. They just call to me; Like the siren song that came from the dark corner of the high school dance ... where the unpopular girls lurked in the shadows ... promising hot steamy kisses, unchecked fondling and unbridled lust ... BUT, you don't want your friends to find out.

    When I look at these basses, I get weak in the knees. In my heart of hearts, I just KNOW that I will own one someday (when finances allow) ... but then, what will I do with the damned thing? Hold it in the privacy of my music room, with the lights low, the curtains drawn and "Dreamweaver" playing on the box as I play musical grab-ass with the passion of a teenager? Probably.

    Here's my short list of "Moped" basses. Thus named for the joke that goes something along the lines of: "What do fat girls and mopeds have in common? They are both fun to ride until your friends find out." And so, here are my top three. Feel free to add to the list:

    Gibson RD Artist CMT
    Oh. My. God. The amorphous RD blob shape with the Moog electronics ... with a curly maple top and full binding? I need a cold shower. Technically an early-'80s model, but still. Gawd.

    Ovation Magnum II
    Zoinks. This is just the coolest/ugliest/hottest thing. Any Magnum qualifies, but I really think they outdid themselves with this model that sports the fader EQ ... I seriously wouldn't know what to twiddle first. Once I got past looking for the slot to stick an 8-track tape in I would probably be in heaven.

    Guild B-302
    Lawdy, lawd! She is plump and proud! Guild obviously had a surplus of pickguard material they needed to use up ... it's like the bathing suits women wore in the '20s that actually showed their kneecaps! Gasp! Come to think of it ... the original Pilot basses (SB-602) had a massive expanse of pickguard material as well.

    Well, I'm spent. Lucky for me I have a Bootsy Space Bass project that I am tinkering with ... otherwise, I'd be on eBay right now, heading over to the dark side of the dance ... :help:
  2. Jeff K

    Jeff K Supporting Member

    Jul 9, 2005
    Memphis, TN
    IMO, the Ovation is the only ugly one of the three! The other two look good.
  3. Thunderitter

    Thunderitter Bass - the final frontier! Supporting Member

    Jun 6, 2007
    I wouldn't us the 'u' word that can't be used unless you own the bass on any of those, particularly the RD and I'm a child of the 80s!
  4. Note I used quotes when I wrote "ugly" ... I think they are all fat & SASSY! :D

    Grrrrrrrr bay-bee, very Grrrrrrr!
  5. snyderz


    Aug 20, 2000
    AZ mountains
    Your wit is only outshined by your prose. "Twiddle"?
  6. Blister


    Mar 5, 2008
    I have one of those Ovation Magnum II - Actually sounds pretty nice - I like the mute bar for a kinda upright bass sound

  7. I like the Ovation as well. If I found a deal on a nice one, I'd go for it. I'm a 70's 80's nut myself. The Guild is homely for sure. The Gibson............well, ya......but.........I better shuttup :bag:
  8. Thanks ... it is a seriously underutilized verb.
  9. Basdyret

    Basdyret A Dane in China

    Aug 6, 2007
    Qingdao, China
    You use a disturbing amount of analogies to women in that first post :D

    That aside, those a great looking basses, but I generally just like basses :)
  10. I think these basses have a cool retro vibe to them. They are not necessarily ugly, just different. From the title of your thread I was expecting to see pics of Bongos. Now those are ugly basses!:bag:
  11. Delta_Petra


    Feb 26, 2008
    Portland, OR

    I actually like the look of this Guild. And it kinda reminds me of some of the Warwick body designs. Is that blasphemy?

  12. I think all three are distinctive and look good. Not sure what the problem is...if you like 'em, buy 'em.
  13. Mr. Ray

    Mr. Ray

    Feb 20, 2009
    +1 Agreed :hyper:
  14. thombo

    thombo Supporting Member

    Aug 25, 2006
    Denver, CO
  15. cnltb


    May 28, 2005
    ...and how about some of them glitter ritters...:D
  16. Kenny Allyn

    Kenny Allyn

    Mar 25, 2006
    Here is one for ya ... made in the USA, I'll be surprised if anyone knows what it is!


    :smug: ... Pretty rare bird
  17. Showdown

    Showdown Supporting Member

    Jan 21, 2002
    Honolulu, Hawaii
    I've always loved the look of those Guild basses ever since they came out in the '70s. I almost bought one a few years ago, and now I regret passing on it.
  18. Big John66

    Big John66

    Feb 12, 2008
    I've owned and played all three of these basses except my RD was a Standard. I'm not sure what that says about me?
  19. Delta_Petra


    Feb 26, 2008
    Portland, OR

    Is it an old Carvin? I only say this because I can kinda see the name on the headstock. But I could be totally off.

  20. I can't believe one got past me.What is it???

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