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My mom

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Peter McFerrin, Jan 12, 2004.


  1. Whenever it comes to discussing members of the opposite sex, she refuses to treat me like I'm over the age of 12, and acts like she's about 14. It's getting pretty old, and I told her so, and now my dad says she's just sulking around the house and wondering what she ever did wrong. I've tried to be more understanding in the past and she's always promised to change her behavior but she never does, and I guess I finally just snapped. I've had people tell me to just suck it up and deal since it's my mom and she squeezed me through her vagina and all, but she's been doing this to my brother for years as well, and the relationship between my brother and mother is not particularly healthy.

    The real issue is that she can't understand the idea of a man and a woman being friends and not being romantically involved, and she thinks that romantic involvement should lead to marriage within 6 months of the first date. I'm amazed that my folks' marriage has worked out so well because on paper it looks horrible--they'd spent maybe 20 hours together and been on 7-8 dates before they got engaged.

    The thing is, she's admitted that she does a lot of what she does just to tweak me, and I don't think a parent should do that to their child. My father and I can talk on an adult-to-adult level now; why can't my mom do it, too? My mom is paranoid and irrational and downright bigoted about a lot of things, but I can tolerate that; it's that she won't allow me the dignity of having the personal life of an adult that bothers me. I realize that at 21 I'm still a young'n, but I'm getting to the age where it's none of her damn business.

    A lot of this is just venting, but what should I do here?
     
  2. WEll this might not be the most comfortable be if you feel it bothers you that much, bring yourself and her to a session to a Phych. It might help alot and since you had the thought of even bringing it to a doctor she might undertstamd and finally get it through her head.


    Good luck Senior Smug !
     
  3. IMHO, it sounds like your mother is still having trouble working her way out of your life. Look at it from her perpesctive. You were inside here for 9 months. And when you were around 12-15, did you have many girlfriends? If not, it sounds like this is the one topic she talks about that still makes her think you are still a child. but again, just IMHO.
     
  4. PollyBass

    PollyBass ******

    Jun 25, 2001
    Shreveport, LA
    She loves you.











    YOU LITTLE BRAT!







    Sorry.:oops:
     
  5. Yeah, I was a social reject in junior high and most of high school, and didn't really figure things out with women until I was 18 or so.

    Brendan pointed out to me that a lot of it has to do with my having left home to go to boarding school when I was 13; she didn't get to see her little boy grow up, I guess, so she can't really conceive of me being an adult.
     
  6. canopener

    canopener

    Sep 15, 2003
    Isle of Lucy
    Damn, you're 21 and already a grad student? I'm 23, and will be 24 when I finally get my BS...

    Anyway, my mother does the same thing to my younger sister, when she comes home from college, usually on the weekends, my mother simply cannot understand why my sister would not want to 'hang out' with anybody but her. And she'll get seriously upset and my sister ends up storming out, back to her apartment. A friend of mine had a similar problem with her mother through college. She worked a year after graduation in a convenience store and the problems got worse. Their relationship suddenly got better after she found a job in her field. I suppose its a natural thing for a parent, but probably enhanced by some sort of chemical disorder in the brain...maybe gender is a factor as well...being a student, she may not see you as an adult yet...wait til you find a good job and see if she still has similar reactions towards you.
     
  7. Um...
    FWIW, sex is biological and gender is socially constructed...

    (stupid sociology...)

    As for the situation, I can't really say much. I tended to stay home throughout most of junior high & high school, and my parents let me mind my own business when I go home to Hong Kong, as long as I'm not doing anything illegal.
    Even then, I still try to go out to dinner with my parents every so often, or stay in and cook/eat with them.
     
  8. I thought this was Mike Money or Osama Spear's post for a second. :)

    Anyways man, your old enough to tell your mom to back off. Live your own life, as an adult-it's your responsibility. My mom stays outta my love life-because she knows I'm lucky to get what I can from chicks. It's a sad reality but as the stupid song goes. Sad but True.
     
  9. canopener

    canopener

    Sep 15, 2003
    Isle of Lucy
    Pfft...
     
  10. No offense, dude, but I think you're forgetting that my folks still pay a fairly substantial portion of my bills.
     
  11. Mike Money

    Mike Money Banned

    Mar 18, 2003
    Bakersfield California
    Avatar Speakers Endorsing Hooligan
    Stupid OT kids. Always bitching and moaning about their parents that provided them with a good life. No respect.



    :mad:
















































    ;)












    Meh... She just can't get used to the fact that you are now a Man.
     
  12. PollyBass

    PollyBass ******

    Jun 25, 2001
    Shreveport, LA
    I know why Pete is having problems....




    His father wanted him to join the pro wreslin' circut.

    But all Pete wanted to do was play bass.

    [​IMG]
     
  13. Is she paying your sex bills? Hookers don't come cheap you know. hahahaha :)

    Well if your in that kind of relationship, do what every smart person does. LIE. Tell her you have a girlfriend and doing very well. If she wants her to come over, tell her that she broke up with you because she was freaked out. Do this for years to come till you actually meet your mom's dream daughter.

    p.s. if your gonna live in hell(LA) now, you might as well dabble in the morals(lieing) of it.
     
  14. "it's my mom and she squeezed me through her vagina and all"

    HAHAHAHA!
     
  15. my mom is like that too...I just stopped telling her everything about my personal life,its that simple.
     
  16. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Terrific Twister

    Apr 12, 2001
    Lacey, WA
    Is your mom like Charlies mom in "So, I Married An Axe Murderer"??

    -Mike
     
  17. Yea, but he's like 4 years older then you :p It is a much bigger issue to him. We're still somewhat young.
     
  18. thrash_jazz

    thrash_jazz

    Jan 11, 2002
    Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
    Artist: JAF Basses, Circle K Strings
    Get used to it.
     
  19. Matthew Bryson

    Matthew Bryson Guest

    Jul 30, 2001
    Well, how much of your love life do you feel compelled to share with your mother, and better yet - why?


    I don't think you'll have much luck telling a parent how to raise a child (you) or interact with their child, even if grown. Laugh it off.

    There you go - you should talk to your Dad about that type of stuff - don't even bring it up with her. Maybe that's what she prefers(?)


    You're right, you are to the age where your personal life is none of her business. Does she insist on being involved? Does she pry information and then voice her disapproval of the goings on? Can you just discuss comfortable topics with Mom and talk about more sensitive things with your Dad? Your post isn't very specific. Is she just telling you that you should date that nice girl you are friends with "before she gets away" and reminding you that you'll need a good wife someday (implying this may be soon). Your post kind of sounds like that last scenario might be fairly close, maybe I'm wrong. What exactly is Mom doing wrong, again?
     
  20. Bruce Lindfield

    Bruce Lindfield Unprofessional TalkBass Contributor Gold Supporting Member

    Well - there's your answer - move out and claim your independence - it's the only way!! ;)