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My self drawn comic strip

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Blazer, Sep 14, 2004.


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  1. Sep 14, 2004 #1
    Blazer

    Blazer

    Nov 27, 2003
    The Netherlands
    Rogue luthier employed at Knooren Handcrafted bass guitars
    It's called "Me and her"

    It's about this nerdy school boy who gets picked on everyday who makes a wish that he can become everything he is not when he want to be it.

    That's when he gets a ring from his grandma that as she says will do exactly that but she warns him that "Becoming everything he is not" will have a side effect. She warns her grandson one more time saying that he really should consider his decision carefully because this other self will attract trouble too, not just solve it. The boy agrees with her but is confident enough in his own abilities so he takes the ring.

    His grandma then says that for it to work he needs to wear it to school so the ring can be ajusted to his needs.

    After coming home from school the boy gets a heart-to-heart from his grandma who tells him that the magic will be set in motion that night and that she already has set aside a package that will be usefull after the magic set in. She then adds that she already has called the school to say that her grandson will be absent for a couple of days, since the magic will have him be his other self for a couple of days before he can control the transformation, and also saying that a name and ID can be found in the package. His other self will be a new student rolling in after moving into town, Grandma dear has thought of everything.

    The boy looks at the package wondering what on earth it contains but obeys his Grandma's wish to leave it alone until he becomes his other self.

    When the boy wakes up he streches his normally thin and boney arms and find them muscular, he then reaches for his glasses, finding out that he doesn't need them, he then checks his body, tall and feminine.

    Feminine?

    Go here to read my gender bender story

    enjoy and let me know how I'm doing so far.
     
  4. Sep 14, 2004 #2
    Nick man

    Nick man

    Apr 7, 2002
    Tampa Bay
    ::shrug::

    The art is pretty good but the story is lacking. Too simple and borring. Pretty predictable.
     
  8. Sep 14, 2004 #3
    Blazer

    Blazer

    Nov 27, 2003
    The Netherlands
    Rogue luthier employed at Knooren Handcrafted bass guitars
    Really?

    If you think it's so "Predictable" then tell me what you think it'll be about, what plots you think I have in advance.

    Come on, you said A now say B.
     
  11. Sep 14, 2004 #4
    Nick man

    Nick man

    Apr 7, 2002
    Tampa Bay
    I was talking about the little things like him easily lifting the clock or beating up the guy. Easily outdoing the girl with the swimming was obvious too.

    I also knew he was some how going to be stronger and get back at those bullies. The story has been told a million times before.

    I see two things happeneing:

    1. He forgets about his friend and becomes cool without her then realizes his mistake and goes back.

    2. He gets cool with her but then feels awkward because he wishes he could tell her who he really is.

    Also I detect some hostility in your post. You asked us to tell you how we think you're doing and I did. I was polite about it and just tried to help.
     
  14. Sep 14, 2004 #5
    fatbassjazzer

    fatbassjazzer

    Feb 27, 2004
    ATL
    From what I read it seems alright. I'm not much a comic book guy myself though. It is certainly much better than I could do. Keep up the good work.
     
  17. Sep 14, 2004 #6
    Brad Barker

    Brad Barker

    Apr 13, 2001
    berkeley, ca
    not enough gratuitous fireballs.

    ...as opposed to tastefully used fireballs?
     
  20. Sep 15, 2004 #7
    Blazer

    Blazer

    Nov 27, 2003
    The Netherlands
    Rogue luthier employed at Knooren Handcrafted bass guitars

    Actually, I was being sarcastic.

    and No, I wasn't planning to used any of the two plots you've mentioned.
     
  24. Sep 15, 2004 #8
    mz91

    mz91

    Apr 19, 2002
    Zug, Switzerland
    I thought it was really good. Especially the drawings...

    But i do think the thing with the grandma was kinda rushed...

    The whole, "your my grandma use your magic to transform me stuff". wasnt as good as it could have been in my opinion!

    I do like the development of the story though. It actually was gaining momentem towards the end.. Made me want to keep reading which is ultimately a sign that you succeeded in the comic.

    Keep it up and good luck ending the story!

    Peace

    M
     
  27. Sep 22, 2004 #9
    Blazer

    Blazer

    Nov 27, 2003
    The Netherlands
    Rogue luthier employed at Knooren Handcrafted bass guitars
  30. Sep 22, 2004 #10
    Sonorous

    Sonorous

    Oct 1, 2003
    Denton, TX
    Yes, 6 second laps indeed.

    Other than that, the story seems kind of unoriginal and boring.

    The artwork is nice though.
     
  33. Sep 22, 2004 #11
    Matt Till

    Matt Till

    Jun 1, 2002
    Edinboro, PA
    I'm going with the good art/boring story line as well. Sorry. It's hard to be original with comics unless you are being ridiculous or funny.
     
  36. Oct 9, 2004 #12
    Blazer

    Blazer

    Nov 27, 2003
    The Netherlands
    Rogue luthier employed at Knooren Handcrafted bass guitars
    When we last met up with Jay/Jane her butt was saved from a severe beating by the BMOC who was stopped by Jay's arch enemy of all people, who wanted Her to join the swim team, meanwhile Sandra is confused about something too...

    Page 40

    page41

    Page 42

    Enjoy and let me know what you think
     
  39. Oct 9, 2004 #13
    Tym2cu_bass

    Tym2cu_bass

    Dec 28, 2003
    Hick Town in Oregon, USA
    Not bad for a home made comic strip, I think you should be an artist and draw someone elses ideas... so you do the drawings, someone else comes up with a story line :)


    Maid of the Ring
     
  42. Oct 9, 2004 #14
    kserg

    kserg

    Feb 20, 2004
    London, UK
    She is hot... i'd .......


    Good drawings man...
     
  45. Oct 9, 2004 #15
    Tym2cu_bass

    Tym2cu_bass

    Dec 28, 2003
    Hick Town in Oregon, USA
    Uh... no...
     
  48. Oct 9, 2004 #16
    Trevorus

    Trevorus

    Oct 18, 2002
    Urbana, IL
    Actually, I kind of like the story. Kind of a mix betwen Magical Mates and Ranma 1/2. I see a big influence from Ranma for obvious reasons!
     
  51. Oct 10, 2004 #17
    kserg

    kserg

    Feb 20, 2004
    London, UK

    oh I beg to differ buddy! :D
     
  54. Oct 10, 2004 #18
    yoshi

    yoshi

    Jul 12, 2002
    England, London
    Pretty nifty artwork although I'm not into anime at all so can't offer any comparisons, sorry.

    I'd take it a lot more seriously (in respect to the artists work) if the text wasn't simply added via computer in Comic Sans! :p I think it'd look far better if you did all the text in a capitalized hand written font.
     
  57. Oct 10, 2004 #19
    Bard2dbone

    Bard2dbone

    Aug 4, 2002
    Arlington TX
    I thought of Ranma 1/2 as well. And for further lack of originality in this post, I liked the artwork, but found the writing so-so.

    Yeah, I know. I'm apparently just one of the herd today.
     
  60. Oct 10, 2004 #20
    Matt Till

    Matt Till

    Jun 1, 2002
    Edinboro, PA
    What's going on at the end of page 40, did that chick grow a beard? ;)
     
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