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No gigs in Redkneckland

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by devain21to7, Jun 10, 2004.

  1. devain21to7


    Jun 5, 2004
    I played a gig at this little crap bar in a town in the middle of nowhere which i dubbed redkneckland. We got on stage, and theres only three of us , three skinny city boys and the crowd is nothing but massive beefcake redknecks and someone screams out "play some skynrd". Instead we played our usual set , which included 3 covers and one of them was neil youngs "Southern Man" well when we started it , i started singing and suddenly realized what I was singing. We couldnt stop there , so we were basically screwed. Someone shouted " that aint Skynrd" and i was assualted by a mass of beer bottles. So we grabbed our crap and ran off stage , which took a while , amps are heavy. In the process of that i was assaulted by various vegatables and meats, and even a bottle of peanut oil. So this is a warning, stay away from Redkneckville, unless you know some Skynrd
  2. Aaron Saunders

    Aaron Saunders

    Apr 27, 2002
    The bar didn't even have one of those chain-link things to block bottles? Jeez. Sorry to hear it, man.
  3. Corwin81


    Mar 18, 2003
    Ames, IA
    gotta live, gotta live gotta live in **** Towne
  4. Planet Boulder

    Planet Boulder Hey, this is a private residence...man

    Nov 10, 2001
    6,482 feet above sea level
    I once had impure thoughts. Oh, and I pluck my ear hair.
    One word, baby: Rawhide!
  5. Brendan


    Jun 18, 2000
    Austin, TX
    If you're backed against the wall.... remember, if they're yelling for Skynryd, they're too drunk to know the words or the changes.
  6. "What key?"


    "Yeah, A's a good country key."
  7. Matt Till

    Matt Till

    Jun 1, 2002
    Edinboro, PA
    Know some Skynyrd, at least as a backup, for just such emergencies.

    Also, if you are in a redneck bar full of huge guys, don't do any songs that insult them, you will pay for it.

    Also Also, know a place before you play it. I played at a bar a while back that was similar, but we played their kind of music and they dug the hell out of us.
  8. if your guitarist can pull if off, try skynyrd's "I Know A Little". It's got a great bass riff.
  9. Josh Ryan

    Josh Ryan - that dog won't hunt, Monsignor. Supporting Member

    Mar 24, 2001
    :D brilliant!
  10. What is that line from the Blues Brothers? "We like both kinds of music: country and western." Or something like that!
  11. atomic_turtle


    Jun 22, 2003
    Dracut, MA
    *Imagine Bob's Country Bunker*

    What kinds of music do you typically have here?

    Oh we have both kinds...country and western!

    Love that movie and have seen it way too many times but I may have muffed the line above.
  12. Any good old timey rock rhythms in A, D or G will do fine for the drunk redneck Skynyrd crowd. Then just babble some lyrics about Whiskey, Trucks, Women, Dogs, Trains and man oh man do NOT forget Momma!!
    The Neil Young cover was indeed a serious ball drop bro! And youre from Old Miss? Im from Louisiana and theyll kill us there if we play Neil Young. Hahahaha!
  13. Munjibunga

    Munjibunga Total Hyper-Elite Member Gold Supporting Member

    May 6, 2000
    San Diego (when not at Groom Lake)
    Independent Contractor to Bass San Diego
    Nyuk nyuk nyuk. You can always do a quick demographic study out in the parking lot to get an idea of your clientele. Lots of American-made pick'm'up trucks, some Harleys, and the sundry Corvette. All who enter herein, beware.

    We were playing the same bar out in the sticks, and some hose-bib yells out the inevitable "Freeee Birrrrrd". We had already agreed in the band that, in the event that this ever happened, we would give them six birds at no cost to them. So we flipped him off in unison, going for the big laugh. OOOPS! These rednecks love their Skynyrd. Mr. Hoser squares off for a second, then realizes that 67 percent (4) of us are bigger than him and he backed off. We ended up playing "Blue Sky" as a consolation, and I guess everybody was too drunk to know it was Allman Brothers.
  14. lbanks


    Jul 17, 2003
    Ennui, IN USA
    Yeah, man! Even in a all-black funk review, we learned an Elvis medley. (WARNING! Never show anything but total commitment while playing these songs. The slightist wise-assed smirk will destroy the effect and the fight is on!)
  15. Corwin81


    Mar 18, 2003
    Ames, IA
    Heh, my band played a show in Sioux City, IA and being the token black guy in the band, my old singer's father said that the only thing that saved me at the bar was that we played some Skynyrd tunes and did a damn good job at it. Of course he was just joking, but funny thing is that I'm the one wanting to cover Skynyrd in the band. Although I'd prefer Simple Man, and having a good(non-bastardized) Freebird in our back pocket.
  16. secretdonkey


    Oct 9, 2002
    Austin, TX
    I was in a band that got assaulted with two big handfuls of cocktail straws for failing to play Thin Lizzy's "Cowboy Song" on demand. What that drunk probably didn't realize at the time, is that you can throw the dang things as hard as you want and they're just going to wind up flittering down like confetti on the bandstand. There was a tense moment as we looked at this guy and then at each other, but we couldn't contain our laughter as the straws floated gently towards the ground all around us. He wasn't laughing, but at least he went away!

  17. seansbrew


    Oct 23, 2000
    Mesa AZ.
    It is a good idea for every band to know " Rawhide" when they are in a pinch. :p
  18. CPL


    Aug 24, 2003
    New England Area. USA
    You know, I've been playing for almost 15 years and never actually played "Freebird".

    You should have gone into Vanilla Ice's "Ice, Ice Baby" instead. They would have really enjoyed that one.
  19. devain21to7


    Jun 5, 2004

    ?????? Tell me sir , have you ever been down south, Vanilla Ice would get me lynched.
  20. lbanks


    Jul 17, 2003
    Ennui, IN USA
    Vanilla Ice would get you lynched up here...