Nope, it didn't happen. I wasn't there, either

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by Gaolee, Oct 24, 2016.


  1. Gaolee

    Gaolee Official leathers tester and crash dummy

    It couldn't have happened. Somebody was taking pictures or video or something, but I don't have access to it, so I have ceased to exist. Been nice knowing y'all...

    The music program at the high school my son attended back when puts on fundraisers of various kinds, because that's what music programs need to do to survive, unfortunately. But, what it also means is that the cover band I play bass guitar in gets to play for a fundraiser every year. That happened this past Saturday. Just about everyone in the band had a kid come through that program, so we are all happy to put on a show to benefit the program.

    The process started Friday night, as always. We had a brief rehearsal to iron out some rough patches and have the official lousy rehearsal to get it our of our systems. Then the PA, drum kit, amps, stands, mics, cables, and all that got stuffed into my van. If I had been thinking, I would have removed the back seat, but as it was, everything fit. Nothing like a big ol' Chevy Express with only one back seat.

    The morning before the show, I felt way too energetic and split a bunch of wood in the back yard. Starting a blister right before a gig is pure dedication. It's knuckle dragger behavior.

    I got to the venue at 3:15 or so the next day and had everything unloaded onto the dock before anybody else got there. I'm not just the bass player, I'm the knuckle dragger, too. About half the equipment was over by the stage when other band members started trickling in around 3:30 to 3:45. It took a while to set everything up, since we were going to have a three piece horn section along with the usual excess number of guitarists, me, and a drummer.

    The venue was an interesting building that appeared to have been some kind of industrial building built in the '40s or '50s, with concrete block walls and a steel bowstring truss roof. It had been converted into a yoga and exercise studio, so it was decorated with all kinds of vaguely mystic, vaguely fantastic, vaguely erotic art. There was a raised stage in one corner, so that's where we set up. It took an hour and a half or so to get everything set up, and then another half hour to work out lighting. I set up a Zoom recorder with a couple shotgun mics in a loft at the back of the room.

    We did our sound check and people started filtering in about 6:30. There was food. No photos, though, so it doesn't exist. It was Daal and some kind of chicken curry. Kind of an odd choice for rock and roll, but it tasted good. I went straight for the hard stuff - diet Coke.

    We launched into the first set a little after 7:30 and played for an hour and a half or so. Right before we finished, it dawned on me that I forgot to start the recorder. Doh. Insert something about being a knuckle dragger here. The crowd was sparser than we had hoped, but they were all moving by the third song. When the audience is all dancing, I'm happy playing just about anything. And, it was the first time I had ever done vocals with a horn section. That was a lot of fun.

    I didn't forget to turn on the recorder for the second set. It was about 9:00 when we started, and we didn't finish until after 11:00, so those who turned up got a good show. It's all about style over comfort, which means I wore the shiny polyester and soaked everything I was wearing. It sure looks the part, but it's like wearing a garbage bag.

    Because it was a fundraiser, we weren't able to start packing up and loading out right away. It was probably close to midnight by the time we started tearing everything down and loading it all back into the van. That took far less time, because the entire band stuck around to help. It was about a half hour from start to locking the back door of the van and the back door of the venue.

    Unlike a gig in Southern California, I only had about a ten minute drive to get home. The equipment stayed in the van overnight, which has it's own risks, but I backed the van into the driveway in a way that made it nearly impossible to get into any door except the driver's door. Stealing the van was about the only way to break in.

    I got everything back where it belonged the next morning, and as usual, thought the audience had a good time. The dirty little secret is that the band had more fun. We always do. Don't tell anybody. It's easy for me to keep the secret, since no pictures means it never happened, and I don't even exist.
     
    Tbone76, tangentmusic, GregC and 8 others like this.
  2. Great non gig report!
     
    dbase likes this.
  3. dbase

    dbase Gold Supporting Member

    Jan 3, 2008
    South Jersey, USA..

    No pictures = it never happened.. Cmon, you know the routine ;)
     
    Gaolee likes this.
  4. Hey, Goalee, I too have not done non-gigs like you didn't! :bassist: So much fun to not do non-gigs!
     
    dbase and Gaolee like this.
  5. Gaolee

    Gaolee Official leathers tester and crash dummy

    No pictures of the food, either. If I can't remember to turn on the recorder, how do you expect me to remember to take pictures? It's way too much for the remains of my cerebrum.
     
    dbase likes this.
  6. Gravedigger Dav

    Gravedigger Dav Supporting Member

    Mar 13, 2014
    Springtown, Texas
    I didn't read this thread.
     
  7. McG

    McG Goat Hill Gamblers

    Oct 6, 2010
    Costa Mesa, CA
    Despite the lack of photos creating a non-gig I enjoyed reading about it :thumbsup:

    Over the years I've done that a few times ;). I totally know the sickening feeling of looking at the camera from the stage and noticing the little red light isn't on :( Especially when it was a really good set :banghead:
     
    dbase and Gaolee like this.
  8. tangentmusic

    tangentmusic A figment of our exaggeration

    Aug 17, 2007
    Reno/Tahoe
    Hey @Gaolee

    How's your knuckles today?
     
  9. Gaolee

    Gaolee Official leathers tester and crash dummy

    My knuckles? Why, dragging on the ground, of course.
     
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    Primary TB Assistant

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