Not Just Another Teen Thread

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Bob Clayton, Feb 4, 2004.

  1. Bob Clayton

    Bob Clayton Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Aug 14, 2001
    Deptford, NJ
    before i even start this thread, let me say
    1) i am not whining
    2) just asking if this has happened to others and how they dealt with it

    ok, so, im with my girlfriend, we havn't been together that long, but still i like her, now today we find out she is moving to New Mexico on March 2nd... obviously we are both up set about this since it will be an "unwanted breakup" seeing as a NJ-NM relation has little chances of working

    now here is a question that everyone could answer

    how should we approach this? like when would you choose to end the relationship? end it soon so to give some sort of closure or keep ti going till the last minute?

    now for the people that have had a girlfriend/boyfriend move far away which resulted in a break up, what did you do? how did you handle everything?
  2. Figjam


    Aug 5, 2003
    Boston, MA
    I would keep it going because ya never know, you may break up for other reasons before then.
  3. Wrong Robot

    Wrong Robot Guest

    Apr 8, 2002
    Bah. long distance relationships don't work, don't waste your time.

    (of course there are bound to be exceptions, but blah blah blah)
  4. bah. girls dont work. dont waste your time.
  5. VS


    Jun 6, 2002
    Mountain City, Tennessee
    Discounted Gear: Peavey
    In all honesty,I believe that it may only end in cheating. People have needs. -Luke
  6. SuperDuck


    Sep 26, 2000
    I'll be blunt- considering she is moving there permanently, I would just cut it off quick and as painlessly as possible. Were she going to college, it would be conceivable that you would be able to see each other on breaks, over the summer, etc. Were she studying abroad for a semester, as my g/f did, you can always see whether or not your relationship is strong enough to go six months without seeing each other. (mine was.)

    But living at opposite ends of the country on a permanent basis? I would think that, for both of your sakes, cutting it off sooner will be better than later. Long distance relationships are very, very hard.
  7. Bob Clayton

    Bob Clayton Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Aug 14, 2001
    Deptford, NJ
    i think some of you misunderstood my original question

    it was: would you break up now, which gives healing time

    or would you wait till she moves?
  8. VS


    Jun 6, 2002
    Mountain City, Tennessee
    Discounted Gear: Peavey

  9. Option one.
  10. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Terrific Twister

    Apr 12, 2001
    Lacey, WA sense in devoting anymore time/emotions/energy/money to a lost cause.

  11. Nick man

    Nick man

    Apr 7, 2002
    Tampa Bay
    My advice is to make it clear to her that you are not willing to try a long distance relationship and plan on breaking up when she leaves, but keep going till then.

    If you decide to do the last second thing but dont tell her she might have the impresison that you want to keep going long distance.

  12. jive1

    jive1 Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member Commercial User

    Jan 16, 2003
    Owner/Retailer: Jive Sound
    Hi. I am Jive1's wife. I just had to answer this thread. (It's the first time I've ever done this!)

    My family moved around my whole childhood and adolescence, and I had many "forced break-ups" with friends and my serious, three year, boyfriend when I was 17.

    Here are my questions for you:
    1) If you maintain virtual, on-line relationships ( like this!) how different is a long distance relationship?
    2) What do you like about the girl you have been dating? Is it just about hormones, or do you genuinely have a relationship?
    3) If you are not sure about the above question, what would it hurt to end the relationship as a romance (which is realistically necessary at this point) and maintain some kind of friendship?

    After my husband and I met in Colorado, we were long distance friends for about seven years before he came to Virginia where we dated and got married. Long distance relationships show you how much you REALLY have in common, after you take the sex out of it.

    As far as when you should end the romance? Wave good-bye with all your might until you can't see the car/plane/train/boat anymore. Then cry your eyes out and go on with your life.

    All the best.
  13. Josh Ryan

    Josh Ryan - that dog won't hunt, Monsignor. Staff Member Supporting Member

    Mar 24, 2001
    Clay, that last paragraph (kudos to jive's wife for using them, we never see that on TB!)...that's what we all do anyway. ;) Best of luck to you, you never know what might happen.
  14. Who the hell moves to New Mexico from New Jersey ? Wow...
  15. I agree with the wise lady behind Jive - why break up prematurely? There are so many uncertainties in this world. Assuming that they do move away, things mightn't work out and she could be back. Worst case scenario is that you two maintain an internet friendship (which seem all too common these days) and you can never have too many friends. If you care about her then lets face it - you're not going to just break up with the girl like that. Trust me...

  16. My friend moved from Cali to Florida to Arizona :p All in less than a year.

    Clay - Just end it now so the goodbyes won't be AS painful.
  17. Nick man

    Nick man

    Apr 7, 2002
    Tampa Bay
    Its not gonna be easy when he runs into her around town if he ends it now.

    Anyways, what do I know. I ended one relationship because I was leaving town and got back together with an old girlfriend just as I was leaving. <--- probably gonna get bit in the ass.

  18. P. Aaron

    P. Aaron Supporting Member

    Clay, you have to end this relationship the way any gentleman would. If you like being with her, be her friend and/or best friend right up to the end. It would be superficial to cast her off prior to her actually moving...unless she really doesn't mean that much to you. From your post, I don't think that's the case.

    This is a relationship that's more than just a neighbor who's moving right? So, keep it special until she leaves. But say goodbye as friends(though it's hard sometimes), and you'll keep the friendship.
  19. Gia


    Feb 28, 2001
    if she is sane, then a long distance relationship might be worth it in the long run. If you really do love each other then a move is a very superficial thing to be ending a relationship on.

    HOWEVER, if she has shown any tendancies of the psychopathic nature, end the relationship now and never look back. :)
  20. bill h

    bill h

    Aug 31, 2002
    small town MN