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Not sure why I'm bothered about this...but I am...

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous [BG]' started by glocke1, Apr 20, 2017.


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  1. glocke1

    glocke1

    Apr 30, 2002
    Ohio
    Band I was in up till last year had a pretty ugly breakup...lots of reasons for that but basically four of the other members just started gigging on their own without telling myself and the guitar player they had a new project starting up, add in some other stuff like changing dates for confirmed gigs at the last minute to dates I couldn't make, and it just all ended up being an unpleasant ending to a band.

    Flash forward to this year, the guitar player and I are trying to start over...have an awesome drummer, wanted to get some jams in, but needed keys so reluctantly I agreed to use the KB from the band described above.

    2 days after the studio session, turns out the KB player has recruited the drummer we used for the project that my former bandmates had started up, I guess their drummer has some issues or something with work and isn't able to play or commit consistently..I'm just like ***.

    I get the whole concept of networking, and people are free to play with whomever they like, but part of me just feels like the KB player used this session as phishing opportunity to find a new drummer for the project he and the other former bandmates have.

    I know...petty right?
     
  2. Stumbo

    Stumbo Wherever you go, there you are.

    Feb 11, 2008
    So. Cal.
    Nope. Go with your gut.

    Find another KB or guitar player/singer.

    Fool me once...
     
  3. BurnOut

    BurnOut It's The Billy Baloney Show Supporting Member

    Feb 1, 2015
    The Natti
    That's what you get for wanting Keys. Seriously that stinks. My drummer always seems to be looking for something else, but wants us too, but doesn't want us, but does. Makes me mental.
     
  4. So you went back to someone who you knew caused trouble? And they did it again?
     
  5. glocke1

    glocke1

    Apr 30, 2002
    Ohio

    apparently i did...it was really the guitar players idea, i said i wasn't thrilled with the idea but didn't push the issue because Im trying to put effort into being mellower/nicer, etc...obviously that isn't working out so well in my favor.

    lesson learned.
     
  6. That really sucks, any way you look at it.

    Reminds me of one of my favourite quotes...

    "Hindsight is a marvellous thing. It helps you realise you've made the same mistake sooner each time you make it"
     
  7. buldog5151bass

    buldog5151bass Kibble, milkbones, and P Basses. And redheads.

    Oct 22, 2003
    Connecticut
    Yeah, people are free agents, but doing a session to steal someone away is very poor. They screwed you once, that should have been enough to tell you their character. Character and ethics tops chops every time.
     
  8. Stumbo

    Stumbo Wherever you go, there you are.

    Feb 11, 2008
    So. Cal.
    IME, don't confuse being mellower/ nicer/passive with being less assertive.

    Whatever you decide about anything, band or non-band, speak your mind based on facts, stand your ground and take a logical position but keep a steady tone in your voice and keep a good attitude about it.

    If other people don't agree with you, be willing to walk. If other people present new facts, alternative conclusions that you agree with, be willing to change your mind.
     
  9. AngelsBassBall

    AngelsBassBall Supporting Member

    Apr 20, 2011
    North Carolina
    I am confused "needed keys?"
     
    bolophonic, ak56, japhy4529 and 4 others like this.
  10. ONYX

    ONYX

    Apr 14, 2000
    Michigan
    You're right. I shouldn't bother you. I posted this on another thread ( which I'm too lazy too find right now--probably one too many beers, heh-heh): "The hell with those guys--time to move on to the next adventure."

    This is the perfect opportunity to bring some new talent into the mix. Change the DNA--and see what happens. You might just like it.
     
  11. Oren Hudson

    Oren Hudson

    Dec 25, 2007
    Gastonia, NC
    Crap like that happens all the time. Try and not let it bother you, although I still do from time to time. :(
     
    bolophonic likes this.
  12. 5544

    5544

    Dec 1, 2015
    Exercise free will and walk away.

    Takes way less effort than typing out the "look how bad I am being treated again and feel sorry for me" thread.
     
    Stumbo, Rocker47 and ba55i5t like this.
  13. DavetheDude

    DavetheDude

    Nov 28, 2014
    Germany
    I wouldn't say lesson learned man. I mean, yes, this whole situations stinks, and you have reason to be sad/angry about this. But you are absolutely not wrong in being mellow and nice. There's nothing worse than a bunch of guys on an ego trip, you're better of to start over with people you know you can jam with in a good manner. And referring to what Doc Groove said above, better stay off people you know have caused trouble in the past.

    Stay nice, it'll come around!
     
    Groove Doctor likes this.
  14. andruca

    andruca

    Mar 31, 2004
    Madrid (Spain)
    Sums up my thoughts about keys and keys players :roflmao: Banned from any band I care about.
     
  15. jjmuckluckjr

    jjmuckluckjr

    Mar 24, 2015
    Drummers are notoriously transient and often play with multiple bands. It's a matter of supply and demand. Great drummers are the proverbial hot girl at the club, that everyone wants to date. The keyboard player is a bit of a d#@k. But you still may end up playing with him again. Just watch your back.
     
    allotabass likes this.
  16. charlie monroe

    charlie monroe Supporting Member

    Feb 14, 2011
    Buffalo, NY
    2 questions.

    Is your new project playing the same tunes as the last one?

    Has the project now fallen apart because the drummer added the other gig?
     
  17. ubernator

    ubernator

    Oct 30, 2004
    lost angels
    Oftentimes people (drummers mostly) join bands with alterior motives of stealing players for another project. When your founding member/writer guitar player calls you to tell you he is moving in another direction, and that other direction is a trio with the singing bass player buddy of the drummer, who jammed after our set at said drummers Xmas party, then you know it has happened to you. This happened to me recently. It was a bigger bummer for the singer, as it was his first band and he just ordered t shirts.

    The ironic part is this was an original band with only a few covers, and the plan was to keep the covers minimal and focus on original material. The new trio? Seems to be mostly covers. Then I also find out it was a super duper passive aggressive alternative to just kicking ME out of the band, we had some arguments based on misunderstandings in text messages, that were apparently not smoothed over like he made it sound. They were worthy topics of argument, as the same guy went from "no pay to play" to "how bout we take a show at the whisky at 7:30 on a Thursday opening for a ska band because my fiance loves ska and there were guitar solos at the last ska show she took me to". We were as unhip of a 70s hard rock influenced " old guy" band as it gets. And 7:30 on a thursday in Hollywood when most of the members are 60+ miles away? Clearly he was going mental, losing his judgement. Got mad at me for being "push back".

    The real reason was he was stuck with an agreement to give me $10 gas for each rehearsal. Think of how much money he is saving. The part I am bummed about was we were covering my pick of a rush song, otherwise I knew the band was dead end and I was doing it as a favor to him.

    Him who not only passive aggressively fired 3 to fire me, but also turned his other friend whom I had known since the last time we played together about 7-8 years ago, against me by venting all of his sides of the misunderstood arguments to him. Things got awkward, my character was assassinated. And the drummer's alterior motives facilitated the whole thing.

    At least that's how the singer sees it, drummer came in, ended up stealing the guitarist. Guitarist compromised his whole concept of what he wanted to do in a band to move in that direction. People make no sense....
     
  18. aproud1

    aproud1 Don't surround yourself with yourself. Gold Supporting Member

    Aug 13, 2007
    Cincy, OH
    Keys always seem to be the hard part. Outside of jazz IME.

    That's for sure. I think he's just too excited.
     
    BurnOut likes this.
  19. Ric5

    Ric5 Supporting Member

    Jan 29, 2008
    Colorado
    Never trust a musician
     
  20. brianrost

    brianrost Gold Supporting Member

    Apr 26, 2000
    Boston, Taxachusetts
    It happens all the time. Since I get all my gigs by word of mouth from people I have played with, I can't honestly say people should never do it. However there is a big difference between asking someone you meet if he is interested in playing other gigs with you when he's available and just grabbing him and bolting.

    One BL I know will not give out phone numbers of any of his guys (including subs) so they won't get poached.