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"Nothing but the Best/Worst for TB'ers"

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by P. Aaron, Jan 24, 2003.

  1. P. Aaron

    P. Aaron Supporting Member

    A woman brought a very limp parrot into a veterinary surgery. As she lay her
    pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the
    bird's chest.

    After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said,"I'm so sorry,
    Polly has passed away".

    The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure? I mean, you haven't done any
    testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something?"

    The vet rolled his eyes, shrugged, turned and left the room returning a few
    moments later with beautiful black Labrador. As the bird's owner looked on
    in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the
    examination table and sniffed the dead parrot front top to bottom. He then
    looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet fussed the dog
    and took it out but returned a few moments later with a cat. The cat jumped
    up and also sniffed delicately at the ex-bird. The cat sat back, shook its
    head, meowed and ran out of the room.

    The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry; but like I said, Your
    parrot is most definitely 100% certifiably ... dead." He then turned to his
    computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill which he handed to the

    The parrot's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried. "$150
    just to tell me my bird is dead?!"

    The vet shrugged. "If you'd taken my word for it the bill would only have
    been $20, but...what with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan..."
  2. Woodchuck


    Apr 21, 2000
    Atlanta (Grant Park!)
    Gallien Krueger for the last 12 years!
    :D :D
  3. Brad Barker

    Brad Barker

    Apr 13, 2001
    berkeley, ca
    that not funny.

    speaking of which, i gave my spanish teacher a "comedypolice" print-out today. unlike my history teacher, who also received one, she didn't earn it by saying a crappy joke; i was instead replacing the "this room is full..." pic, which i had given to her prior. some idiot drew stick figures in the room and ruined the joke.

    also, my history teacher got back at me by including a slightly modified version of that comedy police image at the end of a test. He had written below the image:

    "'Did you here [sic] about the snail who went into the car dealership? Well, there was this snail...'

    Assess the validity of this joke as it relates to the humorous content and as it compares to 5th pd. students' stupid jokes."

    That is now my cover page for my history notebook. (It formerly was one of peter duncan's strokes of genius.)

    Where does talkbass end and school begin?

  4. P. Aaron

    P. Aaron Supporting Member

    Huh? It's a joke man!
  5. That was amusing... Not hilarious, but still good!
  6. Did anyone check up on Pollybass? :confused:
  7. P. Aaron

    P. Aaron Supporting Member

    " ELLO POLLY!" " ELLO!"

    It is an "ex" Parrot.

    What about Parrot. Is he O.K.?:eek:
  8. No, that joke drove me to dig out my Monty Python video...... my sides hurt now.:eek: :cool:
  9. ARA punk

    ARA punk

    Jul 11, 2001
    USA, Shelby, NC
    Exactly what it reminded me of
  10. Loved it! :)

    Get thee over to the bad pun thread!

    We can use a man like you. ;)

  11. I first heard that joke when I was in 7th grade and I didn't get it.

    Now I get it!

    Not...really...now...like....3 years later....But I GET IT THIS TIME! *ahem*

    Yeah, its a classic.
  12. PollyBass

    PollyBass ******

    Jun 25, 2001
    Shreveport, LA
    Well well well. in my process of bumping some old threads to rid the troll menace, i come across THIS! THIS MOCKERY?!!?!?!?

    Was this joke ment for me? Or just a joke....