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Now That Summer is Here

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by mellowinman, Jul 1, 2014.


    7 vote(s)
  2. Smells GREAT, and I'm NOT WRONG!

    10 vote(s)
  3. Smells like Carrots

    6 vote(s)
  1. mellowinman

    mellowinman Free Man

    Oct 19, 2011
    Now that summer is here, body washes, aftershave, and colognes are more popular than ever.

    Many people assume their sweaty bodies will become ripe more easily in the hot, humid months, and that they can mask it with various artificial fragrances. Here are some important guidelines for summer scenting, that can help all of us cope with the redolent sensations of summer.​

    • Your body wash, aftershave, or cologne is nasty. You don’t think it’s nasty, because your senses have been deadened by the various chemicals assaulting your olfactory nerves, including:
    o Acetone, which acts primarily as a central nervous system depressant
    o Benzaldehyde, which is an irritant to mouth, throat, eyes, skin, lungs and intestinal tract, and may cause kidney damage
    o Benzyl Acetate, which is a carcinogen
    o Benzyl Alcohol, which may cause headache, nausea, vomiting, dizziness, drop in blood pressor, central nervous system depression, and death due to respiratory failure
    o Camphor, which is a local irritant and central nervous system stimulant which has vapors you should avoid inhaling
    o Ethanol, which is irritating to eyes and upper respiratory tract even in low concentrations
    o Ethyl Acetate, which is on the EPA hazardous waste list, and can cause damage to liver and kidneys
    o Limonene, which is carcinogenic
    o Linalool, which causes respiratory disturbances
    o Methylene Chloride, which was banned by the FDA in 1988, however no enforcement is possible due to trade secret laws protecting chemical fragrance industry, and is carcinogenic. Absorbed, stored in body fat, it metabolizes to carbon monoxide, reducing oxygen-carrying capacity of the blood.
    o a-Pinene, which is damaging to the immune system
    o g-Terpinene, which causes asthma and central nervous system disorders
    o a-Terpinol, which is highly irritating to mucous membranes​
    • Your body wash, aftershave, or cologne is nasty. You feel you have the right to wear it, but what you don’t realize is that those of us are fragrance-free are painfully aware of how much the scent clings to, and coats our tastebuds and mucous membranes, making food taste like your nasty scent. Trust me when I tell you that you have no taste at all, and while you think it doesn’t smell nasty, it definitely does, and you’re wearing far too much.
    • Your body wash, aftershave, or cologne is nasty. Your significant other tells you it smells sexy, or makes you sexy, or in some way connects you to sex appeal. Your significant other is wrong. While it may do that for them, it does the opposite for pretty much everyone else on the planet, and makes all their friends wonder why they are with you.
    So, in conclusion, your body wash, aftershave, or cologne is nasty, and you put way too much of it on. You are making others sick; maybe even moreso than smokers used to, before we had them effectively neutered. Don’t worry though, we’ll get you, my pretty, and then you’ll pay. If you want to be a good dog, at least put a lot less of this nasty, horrible, toxic stuff on.
    But if you want to start really living, learn to be scent-free. Your body is fine. Kill bacteria on it, and it won’t smell bad, ever. Wash a bit more, drench in chemicals a bit less. You’ll be glad you did.

    And remember: Your body wash, aftershave, or cologne is NASTY. It doesn’t even smell remotely good, and every single one of you who think it does have been brainwashed.
  2. mellowinman

    mellowinman Free Man

    Oct 19, 2011
    I knew this thread would just lie there. You're all stinkers, aren't you?
  3. Yep.

    EDIT: But thank you for compiling that informative list of toxins.
    Last edited: Jul 1, 2014
  4. buldog5151bass

    buldog5151bass Kibble, milkbones, and P Basses. And redheads.

    Oct 22, 2003
    When in doubt, a shower, and lightly (as possible) scented deoderant.
  5. DerHoggz

    DerHoggz I like cats :| Banned

    Feb 13, 2009
    Western Pennsylvania
    I use bar soap and deodorant, that's all.
  6. Unrepresented

    Unrepresented Something Borderline Offensive

    Jul 1, 2006
    San Diego, CA
    I still hate patchouli oil with the rage of a thousand mother bears separated from their cubs.
    hrodbert696, fraublugher and NWB like this.
  7. nukes_da_bass

    nukes_da_bass Banned

    Feb 19, 2006
    west suburban boston

    What can I say? Im consistent.
    hrodbert696 likes this.
  8. Mysterion


    Jan 10, 2012
    I agree with everything you've said, but I don't think most people respond positively to this discussion.

    Consumer culture has become so scent-obsessed, it's absurd. I went to buy a small fan the other day--I nearly bought one unit, until I discovered it CONTAINED FEBREEZE. Incomprehensible to me, but clearly some people like to have toxic, synthetic scent ram-fed into their nostrils. So, I bought a different fan.

    You do not want to hear me rant on fabric softener sheets. If the ingredients were printed on the package, nobody would use them--they're pretty toxic. And they smell like it. It really bums me out when I have to close up my house because my neighbors like to use half a box in every dryer load. I won't even bring up those revolting plug-in air fresheners.

    And yes, other people's scents do cling to you--which can make life very uncomfortable. It's a shame that a simple handshake or hug can spoil one's day as the trail of unwashable scent transfers to clothes, skin, eyes, mouth.

    But...People respond very strongly to scent, at a very primal level. It's too bad that American consumers have become so effectively primed to accept (and desire!) weird, chemical-y scents imbued in pretty much everything. But it's a pretty tough sell to persuade them that their bodies and their lives would be better off if they simply kept themselves and their homes clean inside and out.

    Sometimes, stuff like this just seems like part of the price of living in a society. In general, I think people make a lot of really dumb choices, but I'd be pretty bored if everyone did as I thought best. As Sartre reminded us: Hell is other people.
    Last edited: Jul 1, 2014
  9. Funky Ghost

    Funky Ghost Translucently Groovy

    True story time and this thread accidentally hits home with it.

    Now, I'm not sure if it was a coincidence or what, in the mid 90's I was on my way to an out of town meeting for Intel and I stopped in a local place to get some aftershave. I was out and needed it for the trip. They were out of Preferred Stock ( my go to then of after shave, smells good and isn't knock you down strong... perfect for the professional world ). They didn't have it, and I was going to be late for my plane so I grabbed a "smells like" cheapo ( after giving it the sniff test right there ) that was fair facsimile of Drakar ( another after shave I liked then ). 20 or 30 minutes after the sniff test in the store I lost my sense of smell permanently.

    I often wonder if they are connected at all. Not having a sense of smell sucks big time 99% of the time.
  10. Darth Handsome

    Darth Handsome Banned

    Oct 1, 2010

    Trust me, you smell fan-f'n-tastic............Funky.
    Funky Ghost likes this.
  11. Riverrunsred


    Jan 20, 2010
    Central FL
    I live in the middle of Florida. You get the swamp a** just standing outside. I use scented whatever, chemicals be damned. :)
  12. Funky Ghost

    Funky Ghost Translucently Groovy

    I'll take yer word for it Handsome.
  13. nukes_da_bass

    nukes_da_bass Banned

    Feb 19, 2006
    west suburban boston
    I despise the Christmas tree air fresheners.
    Darth Handsome likes this.
  14. Darth Handsome

    Darth Handsome Banned

    Oct 1, 2010

    Get it?
  15. Funky Ghost

    Funky Ghost Translucently Groovy

    OH yeah. I'm Funky after all. Did you?
  16. Darth Handsome

    Darth Handsome Banned

    Oct 1, 2010

    They give me a headache. And why people hang them from there rear view is somewhat fascinating. Does it make sense to you to have a friggin tree swinging around in the middle of your windshield?
  17. Darth Handsome

    Darth Handsome Banned

    Oct 1, 2010

    I'm still laughing. That was a good one. I like making myself laugh. That's the best.
  18. Funky Ghost

    Funky Ghost Translucently Groovy

    Well I feel like I've done good work here. I was the butt of a joke and I managed to spell things correctly.
  19. Don't know exactly what you mean by bodywash, but I do avoid that stuff. Cologne especially is bad when on public transportation.
    By the way, there are tons of harmful chemicals in all sorts of cosmetic products, including soap, shampoo, conditioners etc. which barely no one knows about.
  20. nukes_da_bass

    nukes_da_bass Banned

    Feb 19, 2006
    west suburban boston
    Soap is mostly made from coconut oil.

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