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Obscure Chinese Proverbs

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Against Will, Nov 10, 2004.

  1. Against Will

    Against Will Supporting Member

    Dec 10, 2003
    Big Sound Central
    A bird does not sing because it has an answer. It sings because it is insane.

    At dawn, we are all children of the new day. Except for bastards.

    Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will starve before mastering the skill, thus saving you today's delicious fish.

    A door without handles is merely a wall. Or a hole. Or a weird window.

    A slave with no master is free, but a master with no slave is lazy and bitter, with a soft, oily body and bad hair, complaining to the dog, who could not care less.

    The gem cannot be polished without friction. Nor can boils. Nor testicles.

    Go forth and boldly seek your fortune! Or go to grad school, I don't care.

    Pleasure and pain are twin serpents in the garden of your desire, which is full of weeds, animal carcasses, and poison-berries.

    He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever and yet appears much wiser than he who asked five minutes ago.

    Keep your broken arm inside your sleeve, where the maggots cannot feed upon it.

    When you drink the water, remember the spring. That week at Myrtle Beach! Dude, remember that girl's breasts?

    www.mcsweeneys.net (cleaned for people's moms.)
  2. Marlat


    Sep 17, 2002
    London UK
    He who pees into the wind pees on his own foot.
  3. Aaron


    Jun 2, 2001
    Bellingham, WA

    I prefere the variation-

    Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit on a boat and get drunk all day.
  4. Man who stands on toliet is high on pot :eyebrow:
  5. He who fishes in another man's well, will often catch crabs.
  6. Benjamin Strange

    Benjamin Strange Commercial User

    Dec 25, 2002
    New Orleans, LA
    Owner / Tech: Strange Guitarworks
    Never look a gift horse in the mouth, for it may have stinky breath and could knock your ass out.
  7. Figjam


    Aug 5, 2003
    Boston, MA
    Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.

    I prefer the Confucius say: prefix to these jokes.
  8. He who go to bed with itchy ass, wake up with smelly finger!
  9. He with knife in foot, not notice hangnail.
  10. Sonorous


    Oct 1, 2003
    Denton, TX
    Haha, these are great.
  11. fatbassjazzer


    Feb 27, 2004
    Man who runs in front of car gets tired, man who runs behind car gets exhausted.

    He who eats many prunes, sits on toilet many moons.
  12. geshel


    Oct 2, 2001
    Do, or do not. There is no try. Empire take 5% either way though, greedy bastards!
  13. Mike Money

    Mike Money Banned

    Mar 18, 2003
    Bakersfield California
    Avatar Speakers Endorsing Hooligan
    confusious say...

    baseball is wrong. a man will 4 balls cannot walk.
  14. Taztiger03


    Oct 14, 2004
    Chinese Curse:

    "May you live in interesting times"
  15. [​IMG]
  16. Ok, so not really a proverb, but the first thing that came to mind. :D
  17. xcental34x


    Feb 28, 2003
    Memphrica, TN
    He who farts in church sits in own pew.
  18. Frank Martin

    Frank Martin Bitten by the luthiery bug...

    Oct 8, 2001
    Budapest, Hungary, EU
    IIRC, that really exists.

    My second-grade cousin (if that is called that) just returned from China, maybe he'll have some intersting proverbs, too

    Great pseudo-proverbs so far :smug: :D
  19. ONYX


    Apr 14, 2000
    Man who drive like Hell often gets there.
  20. DaveAceofBass

    DaveAceofBass Supporting Member

    Feb 20, 2004
    Charlotte, NC
    Seven days of sex make one (w)hole week. :D