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Oh Dear

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by taoist, Dec 29, 2002.

  1. taoist


    Dec 23, 2002
    mcallen tx
    I'm going to put this "off-Topic" forum to good use :rolleyes:

    You see, my problem is I'm addicted to marijuana. I dont really know if it IS a problem, though. I smoke a couple times a day...I get lazy but I have an exceptional time.
    My problem is not how OFTEN I smoke, but how much I smoke at a given time. I should really limit my smoking to maybe ONE bowl per session instead of one super-sized mr.marley doobie I usually roll (very nicely, I might add! :D )..

    I smoked 3 good joints with my ex last night..was unbelievably stoned...went to bookstore and couldnt read, becuase my eyes couldnt focus. I get anxiety attacks, too. I freaked out as soon as I hit the bookstore and went straight to the restroom. I usually freak out when I'm just a little stoned in public places, imagine my horror after 3 of MY doobies.
    You may say, why do I do it if it isnt enjoyable? well, when I'm alone or with my ex I am VERY comfortable and have a good time, no matter how fogged my mind, I just have problems in public or with other people. I think it makes me a stronger person.

    got to go finish this later =o
  2. i smoke pot because i like it.
    if you're uncomfortable in public, do what i do; don't go out into the public.
    if you're not comfortable around someone without the aid of drugs, then don't hang around them. don't use pot to try and force a relationship.
  3. taoist


    Dec 23, 2002
    mcallen tx
    well, it makes me a stronger person. When I am not stoned, I always feel a little bit of anxiety no matter who I'm with. But I have learnt to ignore it...which is a bad thing.

    Weed brings the problem up. It makes me, FORCES me to deal with my anxiety rather than ignore it. I think that eventually I'll have dealt with the problem and marijuana would have been the tool that delivered me.

    My life is an emotional rollercoaster. I was once diagnosed with major depression (MAJOR major), but nothing can really be done. no one really knows what the problem is with me, (including me), we all just assume its a serotonin thing in my brain. I believe I suffer from major bipolar depression...Some nights I smile myself to sleep some nights I ponder suicide and cry myself to sleep. They say my problem is physical...that these anti-depressent drugs are my saviors...and they are, I believe if I take them I get better...but thats the weak way.
    I want to look at this from a different point of view. I want to look at my emotionally ****ed up head and see potential. imagine the character I can build, the personal strength and wisdom I can build by learning to overcome this problem withOUT drugs (well, without the "good" drugs :rolleyes: )..

    Everyday I become stronger, wiser. EXCEPTIONALLY stronger than I would otherwise be had I taken the easy way out and take these pills everyday.

    I think my problem, regarding the anxiety attacks, is I care too much about what people think. which is odd becuase I am loner hardcore. when Im at a friends house I usually find myself wishing I could be alone with my bass at home. The only person I really enjoy being with is my ex, and probably only so becuase I fell in love with her.

    All this really boils down to one thing... How can I more quickly overcome my anxiety when I'm high and in public? (answer: dont give a **** about other people.)
    So, how do I not give a **** about what other people, even perfect strangers, think about me? This is probably the biggest problem in my life.
  4. Brendan

    Brendan Supporting Member

    Jun 18, 2000
    Austin, TX
    I give this thread till...oh...Tuesday. At the latest.
  5. jasonbraatz


    Oct 18, 2000
    Oakland, CA
    stop poking smot.

    go see a psychiatrist.

    pot's not fixing anything.
  6. Benbass


    Jan 28, 2002
    First of all I'd like to say that I am not a trained counselor. I used to smoke occaisionally and I didn't notice until I quit that it affected me for quite some time afterward. It made me paranoid for about a month afterward. This could be the cause of some of your anxiety. Yes, I read that you were anxious b4 but I think that dope just adds to anxiety. Sure you may not feel it while you're high, but afterwards.

    I'm also pretty sure that if taking a legal prescription given to you by a Doctor is weak then self-medicating with something illegal is even weaker.

    It's your life and you seem intelligent enough to make competent decisions but I hope that if you have what is considered a physical problem you'll treat it like a broken arm or leg and go get it fixed. You may be missing out on something really great. Just my .02
  7. superfreak

    superfreak Unregistered

    Aug 18, 2002
    Clarksville, TN
    Holy cow, you so sound like my ex. With the exception of the anxiety attacks. He is very much a loner, so when we went places, he would sit in a courner, watch all of us have a good time, but secretly wishing he was home alone with his bass. Sad, you know? Maybe that was part of our breakup...kind of hoping he will change his mind someday and realize he can't live w/out me...hehehehe

    Bipolar disorder is very serious. The only way to treat it unfortunately is with the help of medication and lots of cousnesling. Once you start counseling, which, by the way, will help you cope with the mood swings, you wont have to go all the time. The meds are there to control the chemical imbalance. Sorry this is sounding harsh, but take it from me, I used to work for a mental health center, and did a lot of discussion with the therapists. Quit smoking pot...It will get you nowhere fast. If it didn't affect you this way, then I would say to continue it, but calm it down some. Sounds like you need to concentrate on you for a while, instead of pot smoking. Get some help, for you really do need it. This does not mean you are crazy, for you are not, you just need a little help.
    Look into to out patient services in your area, get yourself set up. I am not going to lie to you, this will not be easy, however, the hardest part is taking the first step. After that, you will start seeing a change in yourself. Ok, I am off my soapbox...good luck and let us know what you decide.
  8. john turner

    john turner You don't want to do that. Trust me. Staff Member

    Mar 14, 2000
    atlanta ga
    well, for starters, quit smoking pot. that paranoia and anxiety can be aggravated by your heavy usage of the drug. check out some non-biased research into the side effects of long term heavy pot usage.

  9. Benbass


    Jan 28, 2002
    You're on.
  10. taoist- i can definitely see where you're coming from. i know the loner gig- been there done that. actually, i am there, doing that. i've dealt with anxiety/panic attacks, depression, that kind of stuff. i don't think it's as severe as what you described, but still...
    do not use pot as a method to escape or deal or cope or anything like that. as much as you try, you cannot smoke your problems away. i'm not saying you should never smoke pot; that'd be very hypocritical of me. but don't do it because you aren't comfortable and you need something to make you at ease around people. don't say that pot is helping you to not ignore your problem and that pot is your tool for solving the problem- it is a band-aid solution. it works for a few hours, but the next time you're in public or around people the problem will be back. the kind of problems you describe generally require a very clear un-altered mind to be fully addressed and solved.
    just helpful advice, and in my opinion. not trying to be a prick or anything
  11. Munjibunga

    Munjibunga Total Hyper-Elite Member Gold Supporting Member

    May 6, 2000
    San Diego (when not at Groom Lake)
    Independent Contractor to Bass San Diego
    Don't worry about it. The paranoia will drive you to quit soon enough.
  12. leanne


    May 29, 2002
    Rochester, NY
    There are drugs to help treat what might be a chemical imbalance in your brain. Lots of people benifit from medication...along with therapy, which can help you learn to like yourself. Medication can do a lot for the anxiety, especially. While I don't exactly endorse it, Paxil is specifically designed for that, and I've seen people go from uptight, anxious, worried, to pretty damn calm and low-key.

    And when you're smoking pot, just try to remember that you'll be stoned after one or two so you don't have to keep going, that although you want more, you will probably feel best if you stop earlier than you want to. And no one will dislike you for passing. You'll be glad you did, later.
  13. before noon
  14. Aaron


    Jun 2, 2001
    Bellingham, WA
    Hey! I fix plenty of things. Just today i fixed a ground problem in a friend's bass!
  15. Stop smoking weed! That'll probably help your issues significantly.

    Hmmm, pills are the 'weak' way??? I guess I chose the 'weak' way! I have been taking anti-depressants for 1 year now! I'm nearly better! I'm glad I went the 'weak' way. My doc has been there every step of the way with me, monitoring my progress, even changed the prescription after I had a seizure onto something that has made me feel better every day. I have a consultation tomorrow to hopefully reduce my dosage. I expect in a month to come off them altogether - I'm glad I was so 'weak'.

    I've never smoked pot - never felt the need! I'd recommend dropping the dope, and investigate the weak way! Let's face it, if you had a vitamin deficiency you'd take vitamin tablets! So just look on anti-depressants as vitamins for the brain - then cut this nonsense and start getting better!
  16. OneCoolDog


    Oct 15, 2002
    Alabama, USA
    Never done drugs myself either, even though I live within walking distance of what I hear is the #7 drug school in the nation (possibly rumor, but it is rather infamous). Don't do drugs. Too many good musicians went downhill because of them. You're better than that!:)
  17. Sinker


    Dec 4, 2002
    Newark, DE USofA
    I smoked dope almost daily from the time I was 17 until I was 26 or 27. Here I am 15 years later. At work, when I'm learning to use a new analytical instrument and I don't "get it" immediately, I always wonder if it's because of all the dope I smoked. Or when I'm helping my son with his high school chemistry or trig; I'll be half way through figuring something out and I lose my thought process. Well, maybe I was never that bright to begin with.....but maybe pot f'd up my brain just a little. I'll never now for sure.

    And another thing. I don't believe the argument that pot leads to harder drugs. BUT....if I hadn't been a regular doper I probably would have said 'no' when I was first offered coke. And coke almost cost me my world.

    Just quit now. You'll thank me later.

    This is probably a troll, but what the heck.

  18. taoist


    Dec 23, 2002
    mcallen tx
    alot of you misunderstood my logic behind my pot-use.
    I KNOW it doesnt help me, its very hard on me. But I want to try and overcome the anxiety attacks I get when I smoke.
    Like working out, you struggle with a problem (weight) and you get stronger and stronger every time you work out.

    I dont really feel anxious too much when I'm not stoned. I only get anxiety attacks when I'm really smoking up and with anyone other than my ex. I do, sometimes, get uncomfortable, though. I think that by learning to overcome these anxiety attacks I can learn to be a more strong-minded individual and learn to be VERY comfortable in any situation.

    I guess I should add that I am, usually, a very spiritual person, and I have a thing about striving for self-perfection. (even despite the fact that in striving I contradict the teachings of taoism.)
  19. Toke a phatty.

    Or see a doctor.
  20. taoist


    Dec 23, 2002
    mcallen tx
    3 joints a day isnt the norm...
    but yesterday I had 2...
    today I ran out, so unless I get more (which I might...good bud...red hairs) I wont smoke today.

    If I do, I'm going to start rolling smaller joints. I rolled some tiny ones, maybe a bowl or so worth, and they were great smokes. not really any anxiety.
    I'll have like 20 joints per sack :eek:

    Well thanks for any advice I got.

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