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Oh lord here we go again :-) advice please

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Bayou_Brawler, Oct 26, 2005.


  1. Bayou_Brawler

    Bayou_Brawler The most hurtful thing ever realized

    Oct 23, 2003
    Ann Arbor, MI
    So i'm sure many of you saw my last post where i contimplated tearing someone's head of for beating a girl.

    So yes i have decided not to do that. at least not actively pursue it.

    so the thing is this guy has called the girl a few times and is bothering her....not threatning or harrassing so to speak....but obviously she doesn't want him calling. so i want to call him and say "you mother F-er!!! i'm gonna come get you!!!!! and run out the door and do just that.....but that would be bad.

    so the question is what can she do? change her number? can she block his number? if there is a record of her calling the police over him.....can she file and get a restraining order (i'm unclear because he's not actually threatning her).

    god i wish it was 100 years ago so i could just go take care of it.......

    :help:
     
  2. Bayou_Brawler

    Bayou_Brawler The most hurtful thing ever realized

    Oct 23, 2003
    Ann Arbor, MI
    hmmm i just called my phone company (cell phone). they said most wireless companies can't block incoming calls. :eyebrow:
     
  3. Ryan L.

    Ryan L. Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Aug 7, 2000
    West Fargo, ND
    If he is constantly harrassing her, she needs to call the police and tell them about it. That would be the best way to handle it. I know that it seems easiest just to go and take care of the jerk yourself, but that can just elevate problems for both you and her.

    And if I understand things, he doesn't necessarily need to be threatening her, because harrassment is against the law as well.
     
  4. Folmeister

    Folmeister Knowledge is Good - Emile Faber Supporting Member

    May 7, 2003
    Tomball, Texas
    Give her one of those compressed-air boat horns that she can blast into the phone when he calls. He'll get the message.
     
  5. Bayou_Brawler

    Bayou_Brawler The most hurtful thing ever realized

    Oct 23, 2003
    Ann Arbor, MI
    are there any guidlines to harrasment? he's not being threatning per se..... like him calling and telling her "i hope you have a wondeful day" is still harassing her... but will the cops do anything???
     
  6. C-5KO

    C-5KO

    Mar 9, 2005
    Toronto, Canada
    Has she considered screening his calls? Or just telling him not to call her?
     
  7. buzzbass

    buzzbass Shoo Shoo Retarded Flu !

    Apr 23, 2003
    NJ
    Involving the Five-0 is a good idea on her part. You stay out of it. Now a simple face to face discussion isn't out of the question on your part. He seems to have a violent streak. A couple of well placed digs during the conversation should bait him into taking a poke at you. Then it's fun time :D But remember you can't be the one to start it, but you can damn sure be the one who finishes it. I don't like bullies, especially when ladies are involved :mad:
     
  8. kserg

    kserg

    Feb 20, 2004
    London, UK
    In this case i would talk your gf into getting retraining order... I think this setuation its normal to do so... if he calls again or gets close to her he is going to jail... And then he is getting buttraped while we all laugh...

    All she has to tell cops is that "he was my bf he was abusive and now he is calling me... i am afraid..." the simple word "abusive" will do it for them even with out the calls...

    I think year of getting buttraped is much worse punishment then you kicking his ass...
     
  9. Thor

    Thor Moderator Staff Member Gold Supporting Member

    Caller ID

    When his number comes up, don't answer.
    If he uses a blocked ID, don't answer any, let them go to VM
    and call back the ones you want to.

    Get him served with a no contact order as well. She should
    have reported an assault ( sorry, didn't see that other
    thread), and if so, a no contact order should be easily
    obtained.
     
  10. Bayou_Brawler

    Bayou_Brawler The most hurtful thing ever realized

    Oct 23, 2003
    Ann Arbor, MI
    well she finally got the courage to call the cops once after she was pushed around...and there wasn't enough physical evidence so they did nothing.....i believe there is a record of it though now because of that call...

    so this concerns me as to what will happen just over telephone calls....
     
  11. Bayou_Brawler

    Bayou_Brawler The most hurtful thing ever realized

    Oct 23, 2003
    Ann Arbor, MI
    she did report the assualt. the story was no bruises = no evidence.

    but there is a record. i believe.
     
  12. Bayou_Brawler

    Bayou_Brawler The most hurtful thing ever realized

    Oct 23, 2003
    Ann Arbor, MI
    a) i don't want him calling

    b) if i talk to him it's bound to get confrentational.....i'm trying to avoid beating him
     
  13. cheezewiz

    cheezewiz

    Mar 27, 2002
    Ohio
    I can't speak for how your local PD would handle things, but here is how it would be handled on my Department.

    Girl calls PD, says someone is harassing her by phone. An officer would go to her house, or perhaps they'd ask her to come to the station. The Officer would gather all the pertinent information"

    Who is doing the calling? What is the nature of the relationship?
    (in this case....ex boyfriend, etc.), . How often are the calls?
    What is the topic of the calls? Were any threats made? etc.

    The Officer would then attempt to contact the caller, either via phone, or in person. Once the caller was contacted, he would be told in a very clear fashion, "Do not call "ex girlfriend" for any reason. She does not want you to call. IF, you call her again, for any reason, it will be considered phone harassment, and charges will be filed." This is usually followed by the ex boyfriend saying "But she calls me all the time", and sometimes this being backed up by proof, such as caller ID, etc.. The officer would then tell BOTH parties, "do not call each other or charges could be filed".

    Caller ID is an EXTREMELY important tool, and it can often be used to prove or disprove accusations. Yes, it can be bypassed, but you'd be surprised at the amount of dumbasses that don't bother with this, and just call away.
     
  14. kserg

    kserg

    Feb 20, 2004
    London, UK
    If there is records of it atleast once i would asume it would be easier to file...

    But once she stops anwsering he might be more pissed and come around in person... That would suck... Might be chance to kick his ass but who says he will do it while Bayou is around you know...



    Can she ask them to also tell him not to come around... to stay away even if he doesnt call?
     
  15. cheezewiz

    cheezewiz

    Mar 27, 2002
    Ohio
    Yes.
     
  16. C-5KO

    C-5KO

    Mar 9, 2005
    Toronto, Canada

    I'm not sure if you're aware about this but it sounds like it's you that has the problem with him, not her. IF she has a problem, she should ask him to stop calling.

    If you can't deal with his calls, then a) call him up and pound him, b) tell the girl you can't stand him calling and tell her to ask him to stop calling, or c) find a new girl.

    I'm sorry if it sounds harsh, but sometimes people (her) have to learn by themselves, and can't be told, or protected. I was in a relationship where the girl would hang out with similiar sorts. I told her that I wasn't cool with it, yet she still insisted on being friends with these people. SO I left... In the end (1 year later), she realized that they weren't good for her, and that I actually did have her well being in mind. Sometimes they (she) maybe be looking for attention from people (you) by actually causing friction (him). In this case, they (she) needs to know that this has no affect on you and the behaviour will stop.

    It sounds like she's been through some tough times... The last thing she may think she wants is trouble, but from her actions it seems like she has fallen into bad habits.

    OF COURSE, I could be totally wrong about the whole thing. Feel free to call me an ass. I'm just giving you my take on it, from my personal experiences... which mean absolutely nothing to anybody but myself - so don't take any of it personally.

    I believe you have the best intentions for her, and are will to protect her, but she has to realized that her actions have repercussions... whether it's this guy hitting her, you hitting him, you leaving her for talking to him... Regardless it sounds like an unhealthy situation, and she's the cause of it from the phone calls....

    Try finding out "why" she calls him?
     
  17. Bayou_Brawler

    Bayou_Brawler The most hurtful thing ever realized

    Oct 23, 2003
    Ann Arbor, MI
    she did have to speak with him and did call him to tell him to give her things to a nuetral party. he called a few times after and she made it very clear not to call her again. so if he calls again she'll say don't call here or i'm calling the police.
     
  18. Bayou_Brawler

    Bayou_Brawler The most hurtful thing ever realized

    Oct 23, 2003
    Ann Arbor, MI
    initially she had to call him a few times to get her stuff back. she had him drop it off to a nuetral person.

    since then he has called a few times. not threatening but he knows she doesn't want to hear from him.....so basically just bothering and harassing. and him saying "have a nice day" is harrasing.

    he's only called twice since she got her things back. the last time she said don't ever call here again. the next time she'll make it clear she will call the police.

    if he calls after that would it be a good idea to call the police? she has the violence documented herself...and there should be a record of the call made during their relationship even if the police didn't do anything right?

    how can we document the caller id? take pictures?

    thanks for the info.
     
  19. C-5KO

    C-5KO

    Mar 9, 2005
    Toronto, Canada

    Sorry Bayou,

    I didn't realize that she HAD asked him not to call. So, basically he is harassing her.

    Go to the police and find out what your options are...

    I'm guessing they're going to tell you to change your number, etc, etc, etc. I'm not sure if they can do anything about it, if the calls aren't "agressive", or if she's answering the phone at all.

    I would voice your concerns though. Let the police know, that this guy is trouble, and may possible come by the house, in which case you're going to destroy him. I'm sure if they show up knocking on his door, asking him to stop calling her, he may take the hint.

    Good Luck. I'm hoping this won't end in a fight... if it does, make sure it's lots of dropkicks, you need to protect your fingers.
     
  20. Bayou_Brawler

    Bayou_Brawler The most hurtful thing ever realized

    Oct 23, 2003
    Ann Arbor, MI
    well i hope the cops think any call is harrasment....i mean if a rapist calls a girl he raped to wish her a good day that's harrasment right????

    yeah i don't want to break my hand. palm strikes are very effective not quite as piercing as knuckles but very damaging :ninja: