Oh man...one for the books hahaha...gig report ahead.

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by dukey donkey, May 5, 2019.

  1. Ohhhh boy I suppose I should start from the beginning... Well, my guitarist booked this gig a couple of months ago and it looked legit for all events and purposes. Langley, Arkansas... Where? ... exactly. Two hours from home into deeeeeep Arkansas. Satellite pic showed a convenience store a a couple of chicken houses... and the "venue". Ahem...it's called the Langley school RV park. Show was in the old school gym... and I mean OLD.
    We left early with camping gear so we could stay overnight at Albert Pike, a National Forest... Things were looking great. The rain surrendered to some really nice weather and our spirits were high...ahem. We arrived at the "venue". Oh Lord. The front of the building was a pottery shop... through the doors at the back of the shop into the gym... and it's like a PTA meeting. Like 8 people in folding chairs ( kids in tow) all in semi casual attire are watching a young acoustic guitarist playing Amazing Grace. WE'RE OBVIOUSLY AT THE WRONG GIG. No, we're not. Ohhhh boy. It was hyper conservative middle of nowhere population of 75 including dogs and chickens... Sign on the door confirmed that no alcohol will be tolerated on premises... Of course, the guy running the show said otherwise, as long as we keep it outside. Well we decided... after a lot of beer...to go ahead and blow the roof off and have a great practice... We went on at 11-ish. Everything was going great, then...2 songs in, kick drum head disintegrated and guitarist's instrument goes dead... An omen and a relief... We loaded up and shot back to camp...s s we could do what we really wanted to do in the first place... We brought along an entourage of folks from the show... some locals.. I whipped up some killer steak tacos on the fire, we all ate, and somehow these local guys in a rape van produced a couch... Yes, they put an actual couch by the fire to sit on. These sites are really secluded and primitive... totally secluded. No cell signal... nothing but woods, mountain, and a river. One of the locals used to be a gigolo the once got paid in pecan pie... Other guy is obviously a meth chef...other guy seems rapey and suggested we play hide and seek in the woods in the dark. Someone produced some lysergic...aand I checked out. I'd had enough, and I'm not interested in that crap anymore these days...I'm not 15. Went to bed in my tent...woke up this morning, made coffee and bacon n eggs...ever ever else enjoyed the food and discussed how great it is out there in nature... found out that my drummer and singer had never been camping. Now they're all excited about the next camping trip...lol... At least we broke away from everything for a night and had a cool outward bound moment. Let's just forget that show ever happened.
    Bobro, alanloomis1980, McG and 15 others like this.
  2. Stumbo

    Stumbo Guest

    Feb 11, 2008
    One for the books fer shure...hey, did you get paid?

    You need more reliable equipment.:thumbsup:
    Last edited: May 5, 2019
    oldrocker, Mr_Moo and Reedt2000 like this.
  3. Reedt2000

    Reedt2000 Supporting Member

    Apr 26, 2017
    Central New Jersey
    Man, sounds like it was almost fear & loathing in Langley, Arkansas. Glad you made it out!
  4. Dude...there was more bands playing than people that showed up to watch...besides, we high tailed it before even asking. No big deal.. there's always next show. We've actually cancelled a gig to go bowling before because of a sketchy situation... Comes in handy that we're all close friends and do this for more reasons than a paycheck...:thumbsup:
    McG, pablomago, OldBassman and 2 others like this.
  5. BassCliff


    May 17, 2012
    So. Cal.
    Hi @dukey donkey,

    You traveled so deep into Arkansas you heard banjos? :p

    Sounds like a very interesting gig. I'm glad the folks were hospitable and everyone enjoyed camping. I hope your gear survived.

    Thank you for your indulgence,

    Sore Thumb likes this.
  6. We passed the kid with a banjo and went deeper... Gear survived... though some of the bridges are low...water running over them low...
    Oddly and BassCliff like this.
  7. Gunga Din

    Gunga Din

    Jun 22, 2018
    What the F is a 'rape van'??
  8. I'm guessing windowless, so a passerby can't see what's going on inside.
    Bobro likes this.
  9. You are correct...
    instrumentalist likes this.
  10. G19Tony


    Apr 27, 2018
    Las Vegas, NV

    Crazy gig. Glad you got out in one piece.
    Bobro and pablomago like this.
  11. paint the van faded white with a blue stripe like the A-team van, and that'd be it...
    Bobro and Jimmy4string like this.
  12. Sounds like a adventure! When i played rugby we had trips like this out into the middle of nowhere with sketchy situations!
    dukey donkey likes this.
  13. Now that's a gig to remember!
  14. Texan

    Texan 667 Neighbor of the Beast. Supporting Member

    Aug 15, 2004
    Houston, TX
    I need to get out of the city...send me the venue contact info.
    dukey donkey likes this.
  15. Bobro


    Feb 22, 2018
    Maribor, Slovnia
    What an awesome gig!
    dukey donkey likes this.