The incredible Roach Motel hits the road in spring, with yours truly banging on the four-string twanger. But which one to bring? I have an embarrassment of riches to choose from. Keep in mind the winning bass will fly across the country in the hold of some damn airplane after being irradiated by security and thrown across the airport by the crew of luggage abusers. Then at the show it will be showered in beer, have objects thrown at it as large as beer bottles and ashtrays, and be used (possibly) as both an offensive and defensive weapon. They all work and sound pretty good. But I can only get one on the airplane. Here's the rundown. Candidate 1 is the Univox Professional, as close a P-bass as you are gonna find that doesn't say "Fender" on it. I have had it since about 1985, when I got it in a Vegas pawn shop for like $170. MIJ from the mid-70's. This has been my main bass for years. It has been there and done that. Candidate 2 is the Peavey Fury. This was about a C-note from the local pawn shop a couple of years ago. MIA, with a few dings and dents. Narrow neck. Candidate 3 is the Ibanez Roadstar II. An eBay find I have had about two years, this MIJ prize was about $200 with a hard case. The color scheme is the same as Dee Dee's usual bass for what that's worth . . . RIP Dee Dee. Candidate 4 is the Fender Precision, MIA. Nearly mint. I got this at a guitar show, again about two years ago, for like $400 with a hard case. Should I soil its relative virginity? And, Candidate 5 is a Yamaha Attitude Standard. MIT, $225 off the Net about a month ago, then I had to "invest" more in replacement electronics, a replacement J-pickup and replacement keys. Yow. That shot the price up over $300. Jazz-type wide neck. SO WHICH ONE GOES TO FLORIDA? Vote early and often . . .