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Old Band Members Still Dragging You In??

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by tlwaps, Sep 8, 2008.

  1. tlwaps


    Feb 13, 2006
    Just out of curiosity do any of your previous band members call you to complain to you about the same stuff that was going on when you were in the band or about the same members?

    My former singer called me the other day complaining that the band we were in together kicked him out after they found a replacement drummer for a different vocalist. I haven't been in the band since April or May and they still call me to complain about each other. I told him that he's better off because of the egotistical guitarists in the band will go no where because nobody wants to jam with them, let alone form a band with them. They're always right, you're always wrong. Yet when it came down to financial matters they wouldn't help, but if they did put in $10 they'd want $20 back.

    Does this happen to any of you? Former bands or band members calling you to complain about the way things are going in the band?
  2. mrkreuzschlitz


    Jun 30, 2008
    Dacula, GA
    They never call me, but the same crap they pull with me,
    they pull with new guys.

    My band is breaking up (playing our last show this month) and the vocalist started another band, so my drummer (who works really well with me) and I are doing it with him.

    The guitarists in the band listen to me, I've played with them before. The guitarist in my band now,

    not so much.
  3. QORC


    Aug 22, 2003
    Elberon, New Jersey
    Yes, it's happened.

    but mostly I don't talk to a lot of ex-band members. But I know that the crap they pulled with me continues. How do I know? I see that a couple of them have had multiple changes in the other members. no stability. And still playing the same few crappy bars.

    Now I'm in a hugely successful band in another State. It makes me smile knowing that the jerk-offs from the old band have actually regressed since I left.
  4. junglegirl


    Sep 4, 2007
    How do you know they have had band member changes unless you are checking up on them? That must mean they still have some type of hold on you. If I were you, I wouldn't even look in on them (via website, etc.) They are in your past. You are in a successful band, so keep moving on.
  5. QORC


    Aug 22, 2003
    Elberon, New Jersey
    no hold on me. I would never play with any of them again, even if I still lived there.

    Just curious and wanted to confirm what I suspected -- that the way they treated me is the way they would treat others and that, despite their bravado, they would be stuck and going nowhere.

    It's not like I'm regularly on their sites. Think I looked 2 times in the last year. *shrugs*

    Just gave me a measure of satisfaction that I've blown so far past them. *shrugs*

    I looked a couple of old college girlfriends on my alumni directory to see what they have been up to, although I've been married 18 years. I don't want to see them again. just curious. I'm human.
  6. junglegirl


    Sep 4, 2007
    I here ya! I've been playing for over 20 years and I've played with my share of jerks and yes, have been "dismissed" from bands. At my age, I just play and have fun. No offense, but you sound young...my guess is early 20's?

    OOps...if you're married 18 years, you're not in your early 20's...and I thought I was giving "motherly advice."
  7. whitedk57


    May 5, 2005
    Franklin, NC
  8. tlwaps


    Feb 13, 2006
    They like to call or e-mail me every couple months to fill me in as to what's going on. I just don't get it. The band I was in before them formed a new band, basically the same members but with a different name and a new bassist, well from what I've seen after doing a few shows with them they're on their 4th bassist and their 3rd or 4th singer, something tells me that things haven't changed.
  9. TFunkadelic


    Apr 9, 2006
    The post-breakup symptoms and happenings of bands and girlfriends are often very similar I've found.
  10. Smaz


    Jul 17, 2008
    England, UK
    My response: "Yup, that's why I left."

    That's about all... :)
  11. Mystic Michael

    Mystic Michael Hip No Ties

    Apr 1, 2004
    New York, NY
    Ya know, you could put a stop to this - if you really wanted to. Why make it seem as if you're somehow powerless to prevent this drain upon your time and energy?

    Nobody is going to "drag you in" unless you allow them to do so. Just stop empowering them... :eyebrow:

  12. crow01


    Sep 1, 2008
    A former band member used to call frequently and start bitching about this and that. I told him dude, get a shrink or get a girlfriend.

    He didn't call back. I wonder what he got?
  13. LOL, not at all. A strong majority of my former bandmates made burning bridges an art form!

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