Narcissistic vocalist wanted for a rock band out of central Connecticut. You must have a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, blatant need for admiration, and a total lack of empathy. If you show-up for practice on-time, you're fired. If you plan on helping move equipment in and out of the venue, you're also fired. You must be constantly sick, or be able to otherwise provide some sort of excuse as to why you're not 100% at all times (which is... at all times). You must have a sense of entitlement and unreasonable expectations for favorable treatment at venues and by all people graced with your presence (even though you've never left the basement in your music career). We would also sincerely appreciate if you were exploitative to everyone you encounter, including us; your band-mates. If you're not taking advantage of people, you're not for us. You must be completely arrogant and let people know how awesome you are at all times. And for the love of God, please call our fans "mother -----ers" and "---holes" on stage... they LOVE that kind of stuff. You must have hundreds (if not thousands) of ideas of what we "need to do", but do absolutely *nothing* to actually move those ideas forward. If someone writes a vocal melody/lyric that sounds good, you must change it so that it doesn't conflict with your inability to accept input, or the fact that you just might not have the absolute best idea for any given situation/musical piece (let that ego shine brotha!). And lastly, you must be completely incoherent, a terrible speller, and have the grammar of a three year old (even though your main job is to write in order to communicate and relate with people). If this is you, we're looking for you!!!!!!!!!