Once a cheater, always a cheater?

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by MAJOR METAL, Dec 19, 2012.


    MAJOR METAL The Beagle Father Supporting Member

    Once a cheater, always a cheater, what say you? I've known a few people who grew out of the habit of cheating simply with age and maturity in their later relationships.
  2. Topspin

    Topspin What's my name again?

    Dec 15, 2010
    I played Tom Sawyer with a pick once. Shame on me.
    I'm sure people can grow out of cheating, but when I know someone has cheated, I can never fully trust or respect them.
  3. Jazz Ad

    Jazz Ad Mi la ré sol

    Cheating depends highly on your current state of mind, the nature of your relationship with your partner and a lot of other factors.
    It's a thing of the moment, sometimes one can get caught with an occasion on a painful day after another fight, need attention or suddenly be overwhelmed by an attraction to a person.
    There is no rules and nothing says it may happen several times. However, some people simply make a habit of it and don't intend to change.
  4. nortonrider


    Nov 20, 2007
    Cheating at cards?
    Cheating on their taxes?
    Cheating in a relationship?

    In the end.... I guess they're pretty much the same thing - being untrustworthy.
  5. Check out the Donut chapter in Freakonomics. Interesting take on cheating and cheaters in general in our society. Frequent cheating is a form of sociopathy: the cheater does not view others as equals and thus justifies wrongly taking advantage of them. If confronted they will say, "Everyone cheats!" But it turns out this is not true, most people are honest most of the time, while almost no one has never cheated on anything ever, they are usually contrite over their cheating. Habitual cheaters are never contrite about cheating, thus the similarity and linkage to other forms of sociopathic behavior.
  6. BioDriver

    BioDriver A Cinderella story

    Aug 29, 2008
    Austin, TX
    Going from personal experience, yes :atoz:
  7. MonetBass

    MonetBass ♪ Just listen ♫ Supporting Member

    Sep 15, 2006
    Tulsa, OK
    This. I found out after one of my girlfriends had broken up with me that it was because she was seeing (read: sleeping with) someone else. That was almost 25 years ago, and she's never been married. I wonder why that is? :smug:
  8. Ziltoid

    Ziltoid I don't play bass

    Apr 10, 2009
    That's too much of a generalization to pick an option or the other. It varies a lot from a case to another. However, I would not give a second chance to somebody who cheated on me, never.
  9. brothernewt

    brothernewt Some people call me the stormtrooper of love...

    Apr 13, 2004
    Gladstone, OR
    I think it's more of a sign that the relationship isn't working than the character of the person. If someone has cheated during a previous relationship that was bad enough to eventually end, I don't think it's fair to say "they'll always cheat". I would not continue a relationship with someone who cheated on me though. Too much insecurity and jealousy to be healthy at that point. YMMV.
  10. Bloodhammer

    Bloodhammer Twinkle Twinkle Black Star

    Jul 7, 2009
    Shreveport, Louisiana
    Depends. I cheated on a girl a long time ago because I was a teenager with a head full of rocks. I haven't done it since because I lost a really sweet girl that didn't deserve the heartbreak. I'll never stop hating myself for that. :atoz:

    Some people seem pathological about it, though.
  11. jmattbassplaya

    jmattbassplaya Supporting Member

    Jan 13, 2008
    I won't date someone who has a history of cheating.
  12. Bloodhammer

    Bloodhammer Twinkle Twinkle Black Star

    Jul 7, 2009
    Shreveport, Louisiana
    I wonder how it went with ole' what'shisname that started that "Should I be with her?" thread a few weeks back...... Last we heard, he was going to dive in.
  13. Thomas Kievit

    Thomas Kievit Guest

    May 19, 2012
    If you cheat once, the second time will be as easy like you did the first time ;)

    So no cheating for me :)
  14. It's a sign of impulse control issues in my book, and no, I would not get into a relationship with someone who has cheated.

    Infidelity is one of the most immoral and evil things you can do to another human being IMHO. It runs as deep as violence and theft. It's one of the most insulting and humiliating things you can do to someone, like the most horrible lie you can imagine combined with a punch to the gut and having your wallet stolen, all at once. But worse, because it usually leaves someone broken-hearted and emotionally scarred.

    There is an acceptable way to move on, if you're not happy with your relationship. To screw around behind someone's back is a really irresponsible, even immature act. If someone doesn't have the common decency to break up first, they're no better than a monkey in the jungle humping anything that comes along to satisfy their physical and emotional needs. Very selfish behavior.
  15. Phalex

    Phalex Semper Gumby Supporting Member

    Oct 3, 2006
    G.R. MI
    I think there are ***holes, and people that fall out of love. People that fall out of love certainly act like ***holes, but ***holes are ***holes.
  16. Phalex's theory of ***holery? Sounds good to me.

    I'm not one to put much stock in any adage, personally. I'd probably be weary of a person that has history of cheating but I don't know how I'd react to it myself. I'll cross that bridge if I come to it.
  17. Phalex

    Phalex Semper Gumby Supporting Member

    Oct 3, 2006
    G.R. MI
    OK Brougham. Devils 3 way ON!
  18. Shakin-Slim


    Jul 23, 2009
    Tokyo, Japan
    I cheated on my girl 2 years ago. I told her about a week or so ago. I know that's a long time, but I was so scared of losing her. There's no way I could ever make an excuse for it, but things that were happening at the time were an unhappy relationship, due to a bad flatting situation and its stress, and her being away for a month. I've hated myself for it for the past few years. We're on the mend, though, which I'm so glad about.

    I know I'd never be so weak as to do that again. Once a cheater, never a cheater again.
  19. Had it done to me once. She was living with me too, and refused to leave. I set the dogs on her - she left.

    I'm sure there are some exceptions, but I reckon most cheaters are repeat offenders. I wouldn't trust 'em as far as I can drop-kick them.
  20. mellowinman

    mellowinman Free Man

    Oct 19, 2011
    I had a few relationships with women who cheated on me.

    Then I realized, in each case, our first time, she was cheating on someone else!

    So I had a very poignant thought; ready?


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