One flew over the cuckoo's nest

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by outlet3000, Jul 19, 2016.

  1. outlet3000


    Jul 19, 2016
    Hey guys I'm going to be blunt about this as it's importent you know the details.

    I'm a two yesr Bassist and have been with this band for two months now. Being my first band I'm unsure what to expect but already there seems to be problems showing.There are three of us and we know each other throu mental health.

    Singer\guitar) Bipolor\psychosis
    Drummer) Psychosis
    Bassist) Aspergers

    The singer won't focus on one song and just keeps writing new ones, this is fine but sometimes his lyrics make no sense and are over complicated with no flow. (Should i speake up + how ?)

    Little things are showing. I passed it as a joke but was told he is the genius and i'm just the bass player (outch) but he's writting so many songs I'm just using simple basslines to fill in until he chooses one. (spending too much time writting then playing)

    The Drummer I don't know very well but only talks to me if he wants to play something or talk about conspiracy. I don't want to talk about them and if you disprove or argue a point he will dig in deeper or get annoyed. (Give him space as he just broken up with his girlfriend)

    So I'm a little traped, on one hand I know that they are good people and misunderstood but on the other I'm overloaded. The singer expects me to give opinion for every some he has written in the last five years and alot of it's really depressing (That i'm trying to turn to anger or what he has lernt)
    It just seems that the singer and me are doing all the work and the drummer just tips up and plays any 4 beat pattern.

    Do you guys think that this can be turned around and made into something creative ? Sorry for the wall of text but I'm tiered and they don't understand what they're doing to me.
  2. My Mom, God rest her soul lived her entire life w/Asbergers.' My childhood/relationship w/her was a bit odd, but that's what made her special.
    I know that I have shards of it in my personality, my older brother & sister are not exempt as well.

    It sounds as though your bandmates use your band as a platform to express their own detached thoughts, As they are not yours of course it's hard to comment on them..
    Do you enjoy playing with them? or is it simply a chore?..

    Having Asbergers' can work in your favor, harness your unique ability to focus on specifics, Do you have a great, fun bass line inside of you that wants to come out?..
    Play it, shout at the drum to play a beat on top of it, Have the singer dispel the angst for a moment and sing a catchy lyric.. Heck, You may actually accomplish something.
    It's your band too........................
  3. PauFerro


    Jun 8, 2008
    United States
    I think putting this combination of people in the same band is a recipe for problems. Being in a band is hard enough -- it's the toughest team situation I've ever been involved in, in my life -- even when you consider hard core business and professional situations involving large sums of money. And that's with people who aren't coping with mental issues. Add the challenges associated with psychosis and bi-polarism (read about what happened to Jaco, best bass player in the world) and I think the odds of it being successful are really challenging.

    This is NOT to discourage you from pursuing music or other bands though. In Eurovision, the international song contest that is really popular across the Atlantic, one group from Finland in 2013, 2014 or 2015, I believe, was populated entirely people with various disabilities, mostly aspbergers and autism. They did a heavy metal original song and it was pretty good. The fact they had disabilities added another facet to the whole experience that made it interesting. But they seemed to understand each other due to having disabilities in common.

    So, I would use your judgment and weight the opinions here about the probable success of the band. You know what you need in social settings, I would try to find a social setting that fits your own needs -- perhaps create it yourself.

    I have said this in other threads, but the most fulfilling experiences I've had in a whole variety of contexts I have created from scratch to my own liking. When I was frustrated with the dynamics within a band, I quit and started my own. When I couldn't get results in a two non-profits I joined, I started my own non-profit and solved all the problems. When I couldn't get the guys in one band to accept the piccolo bass I wanted to use now and then on melodies, or play original music, I made my own fun. I found a place that wanted original music, booked the gig with pay, and then formed a band of open-minded people who could do the job.

    So, don't be afraid to "build your own railroad", or start your own when people's personalities don't work for you. Set up the terms upon which people should join, and get a gig on the books to increase your cred as a leader. Watch them join in droves...provided your music is good starts with the gig, then the terms for joining, and then rehearsing, and then performing...
  4. pcake

    pcake Supporting Member

    Sep 20, 2011
    Los Angeleez
    i don't feel that the singer's belief that he is a genius and you are JUST the bass player is going to improve, but he only chance you have that it will is if you talk about it. personally i don't want to talk about conspiracy theories at rehearsal. i want to play music. i don't want to be thought of or spoken of poorly - "just" the bass player. neither of these things is conducive to creativity or a feeling of building a band, at least not for me. a good band to work with for me is a team where everyone works together with respect and shares similar musical goals. YMMV.

    from what you're describing, i'd say no, i don't believe that the band can be turned around, at least not without real communication.

    if it helps, what they're doing probably isn't about you. being in a band (or other creative team effort) gives sort of snapshots of the members' social skills, and that can lead to a lot of problems.

    btw, have the three of you ever discussed what you realistically want from this band?
    design likes this.
  5. two fingers

    two fingers Opinionated blowhard. But not mad about it. Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2005
    Eastern NC USA
    Welcome to Talk Bass!

    I am no expert in mental health issues so I will simply say best of luck with it.
  6. outlet3000


    Jul 19, 2016
    Awesome thanks for the replies guys. there's alot of feed back so will answer the best I can.


    (reversed) I can relate to your story with your mom as mine is not an aspie. thank you for shearing.

    I really don't mind them using the band to express themselfs - it's the amount of depressing and over complicated songs that's bringing me down
    (some of them cover 2 whole A4 paper) I get that he is hurting but understand that you can't keep the foot on the sadness pedal.

    I'm not enjoying playing ATM, I grew up on what I'd guess you'd call pop punk, post grunge and nu metal so looking for heavier feel good\pumped music.

    I Do try and use my "abilitys" but what gives me strength can also physically drain me. I also don't have enough experience or chops to fix the problems with theory or get what i hear in my head on to paper.


    Think I understand what you're saying and will look up Jaco later tonight.

    The band can get on well and we understand that eatch of us has difficulties and yes sometimes the music can be intresting - it's when they go throu small episode's that everything comes to a stop.

    I don't have the social skills to create my own band, singer and drummer talk to people. they also help steare me clear of bad social situations and I kinda want to help these guys as much as possible without blowing a fuse.


    i've taken all comments into account and hopefully give you feedback above so please don't think I'm ignoring you.
    Could you also explain what you mean by snapshot please ?

    I'm just playing for fun and the experience, maybe a gig or two - but think the drummer wants to use the band to promote his DJ business and the singer wants to make a living of his music.

    @two fingers

    probably the wisest comment. (Ya I'm gonna leave that one but good luck :whistle: )

    Sorry for the wall again, hopefuly it makes sense. Thanks guys :thumbsup:
  7. outlet3000


    Jul 19, 2016
    Just to round things off, the band has broke down after the drummers girlfriend left him during practice :dead:

    But on the bright side I feel like that I've had an accurate taste of what a band looks like :rolleyes: and now just jam with the singer\guitarist without the grief after explaining the problems I was having.
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